kitten chick Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 I don't know why I'm feeling so depressed over my most recent breakup. I didn't even love him. I'm definitely handling it a lot better than my past breakups, although it does help to not have all of those insane hormones running through me this time. I feel like I should just be trotting on with my life. It hasn't even been a week and I'm already setting up dates and getting involved in new volunteer projects. But I still feel depressed. I felt like my life was full before I met him and now I feel empty, like something's missing. But I didn't love him, so why? What is it?
tanbark813 Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Oxytocin withdrawal. Just give it time, KC.
kitten chick Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 I guess??? Thanks TB. I thought I would get answers like "you have problems if you feel empty, you need 6 months of intensive daily therapy", I guess LS has changed. I really thought I might get things like loss of security or it hasn't hit you yet. I don't know, I feel totally lost as to why I can't feel content.
tanbark813 Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Well during the Tahoe Cokewhore breakup of '04 I did a lot of reading up on oxytocin and it's role in romantic pair-bonding. It personally made me feel a little better that there was a logical, chemical reason behind what I was feeling. It may not be a consolation to just anyone, but it was to me because I'm weird like that. Really, no answers on here are going to take away your pain, and it's cause can be attributed to a variety of things. But one thing that I'm sure of--and you probably are as well--is that it will go away in time. For now just drink lots and break stuff.
Art_Critic Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Really, no answers on here are going to take away your pain, and it's cause can be attributed to a variety of things. But one thing that I'm sure of--and you probably are as well--is that it will go away in time. That is true... When I am feeling depressed but I'm doing all the motions the way I'm supposed to be doing I try and increase my Sunshine time.. I always feel so much better when the sun is hitting my face.. Sorry your feeling in the dumper... Here is some Sunshine from the south :D
kitten chick Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 You're going to need to sit down for this. I think you're totally right NN. I know you're big on the Oxytocin explanation, I remember you writing lots about it. It does kinda make me feel better and you're right that nothing here is going to take away the pain. I guess I can still come here to whine my head off though However, I'M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN!!! I was praying to the porcelain g-ds this weekend. I'm down for breaking stuff, can I come over to your house?
kitten chick Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Thanks for the sunshine AC. We don't gots that here but we are getting some snow which is cool because it's finally warming up enough for it. You know what would be awesome? If you could just take my evil cat for a little while. Just a week or something...she's evil. OH and replace my refrigerator, it broke yesterday
tanbark813 Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 You're going to need to sit down for this. I think you're totally right NN. *faints* I'm down for breaking stuff, can I come over to your house? Only if what you want to break is your ability to walk normal.
Art_Critic Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 replace my refrigerator, it broke yesterday How about putting the cat in the broken fridge ?.. nevermind...that wouldn't work.. then you would have 2 broken things.. I love snow.. We had snow up in the mountains a week or so ago and it was pretty..
kitten chick Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 You know I locked her in the bathroom overnight for that douchebag I should have locked him in the bathroom, or the refrigerator, that would have been better. Snow is only pretty if you don't live in a city. If you do you're just walking through a foot of black sludge.
Art_Critic Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 I should have locked him in the bathroom, or the refrigerator, Are you sure that isn't kinda what happened this weekend.. instead of the cat it was the ex you put in the fridge ?.. maybe it is his foot keeping the door open and the fridge really isn't broken .
kitten chick Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 I'm pretty sure he's not in there and I'm pretty sure I'll never hear from him again. I really wish he would at least feel bad about everything if he didn't care about me. Maybe the guilt from using someone? I don't know. And my friends are creating unnecessary drama in my life. It's putting me over the edge.
norajane Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 You know I locked her in the bathroom overnight for that douchebag I should have locked him in the bathroom, or the refrigerator, that would have been better. Hmm, you know, my cat is none to crazy about my bf-on-the-rocks. She hisses at him if he gets too close, and just barely tolerates him being in the same room. Perhaps I should pay heed...
kitten chick Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Hmm, you know, my cat is none to crazy about my bf-on-the-rocks. She hisses at him if he gets too close, and just barely tolerates him being in the same room. Perhaps I should pay heed... That's what everyone tells me, I should be listening to her. She really hated him He wasn't the worst of my boyfriends though so maybe her radar is a little off...
Art_Critic Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 I really wish he would at least feel bad about everything I'm sure he does feel bad.. he just will never show you that side.. You acknowledge that you feel bad and that you weren't in love with him so I wouldn't think it would be a long stretch to think the same about him.
tanbark813 Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 I'm sure he does feel bad.. he just will never show you that side.. You acknowledge that you feel bad and that you weren't in love with him so I wouldn't think it would be a long stretch to think the same about him. Ditto this.
kitten chick Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 I'm sure he does feel bad.. he just will never show you that side.. You acknowledge that you feel bad and that you weren't in love with him so I wouldn't think it would be a long stretch to think the same about him. Yes but I had strong feelings for him, I just wasn't at the point of being in love yet. Close but not yet. And he said he had no feelings for me so I don't think he feels bad. I can only hope he feels guilty, I know he doesn't do well with guilt so that's the best I can hope for.
Art_Critic Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 I can only hope he feels guilty, I know he doesn't do well with guilt so that's the best I can hope for. ... I haven't laughed out loud like that in a while..
ratingsguy Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Hmm, you know, my cat is none to crazy about my bf-on-the-rocks. She hisses at him if he gets too close, and just barely tolerates him being in the same room. Perhaps I should pay heed... This could be a topic all by itself! I lived with an ex who had three cats. Two of the three loved me, but the third hated me. Never could figure out why... maybe that kitty was bi-polar like her owner.
whichwayisup Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Even though you weren't inlove with him and he wasn't the right one, you still had feelings of attachment towards him. Cared about him...So, it will take a little bit of time to get over him...And, that's OK. Let yourself feel sad, cry and be down, but not for too long. Make sure you get out, go for a walk, play in the snow or something! Throw a snowball at a passer-by....Kidding!!
kitten chick Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Thanks WWIU. The weird thing is I don't know if it just hasn't hit me yet or if I already feel completely detatched. Maybe I really wasn't that into him. I still do miss him sometimes and sometimes I miss the security of having a boyfriend but most of the time I'm just not feeling much. I cried the first couple of days and I haven't been able to cry since. It feels very weird to me like I'm going back to being a very unemotional person. I think I'm just thinking outloud. Anyway...you don't throw snowballs here, we're all too close to each other and we fight back, they'll take you down!
kitten chick Posted February 18, 2007 Posted February 18, 2007 I've lost my boyfriend and one of my best friends with in a week and a half period and I don't really feel all that upset. I should be devastated. I feel a little empty like something is missing because I am missing key people from my life but that's about it. What's wrong with me?
johan Posted February 18, 2007 Posted February 18, 2007 I've lost my boyfriend and one of my best friends with in a week and a half period and I don't really feel all that upset. I should be devastated. I feel a little empty like something is missing because I am missing key people from my life but that's about it. What's wrong with me? Maybe nothing. Maybe you just don't feel like getting upset about it all. The boyfriend seems like someone you were going to have to let go anyway. I don't know the story of you and your friend. For me, there are always ups and downs with these things. Maybe you'll feel more sad later. But I'm glad you don't feel too bad. That's a good thing.
kitten chick Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Thanks Johan. I was just talking with one of my friends and she thinks it just hasn't hit me yet. I'm usually much more emotional than this but I guess I didn't get as invested with the boyfriend as I have in the past, and he didn't do anything bad to me. Maybe this is what it feels like when someone isn't a bastard to you but breaks up with you. I'm really disappointed in my friend but I think it just hasn't hit me yet. Either way, I don't think I'll be a mess like i was 2 years ago but I should feel something.
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