Kelso Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Okey everybody ... I'm getting pretty pissed at myself right now. I'm having a little relapse tonight. So I checked my ex's profile just minutes ago. The funny thing is that I knew it would let me down and I would feel sad and empty afterwards. Still I checked. We've been broken up for 4 months now, which is about half of the time we actually dated. I wouldn't want her back in million years still I have this feelings towards her. I was never actually happy in the relationship, still I think about it like it was the best thing that has happened to me. I thought about breaking up with her for weeks before she actually dumped me. Is it the fact that she dumped me that has made my head spin like this. She had some new guys in her top list. I became angry and jelous I guess. I still don't know why. I met this wonderful girl few weeks ago and we're having fantastic time right now. We does it depress me that she might be seeing someone, even while I know that I am seeing a person that I like and care for. This is so weird in it really is driving me insane these days. Just needed to get it out of my system ... I'm so angry at myself for allowing me to get disappointed like this...
tanbark813 Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Well if it's any consolation, chances are part of her motivation for putting new guys in her top list was to piss you off if you happen to be checking out her profile. She's probably having, or had, some difficulty with the breakup as well. Even those who initiate the breakup go through a certain amount of withdrawal.
D-Lish Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 I suspect that getting rejected has a lot to do with the unresolved angst you're having at the moment. Like you, I had been thinking a lot about breaking up with my ex before he dumped me... and when he did- it sent me into a tailspin...and suddenly I wanted him back like there was no tomorrow. Rejection does funny things to our ego. My relationship was riddled with difficulties and unsolvable problems- and I wasn't happy... yet after he dumped me all I could imagine was how perfect we were for one another. Of course that line of thinking was false... He was emotionless and depressed, yet all I seem to remember is the good times, the romantic times. No one likes the idea that they can be replaced- no matter what the circumstances of the relationship. I suspect that it is the rejection that is messing with your mind- and not the reality that the two of you aren't a match. Let the relationship with the new girl come to fruition, see where it goes. the more you open yourself up to something healthy- the more you'll realize how broken things truly were with your ex.
Road Rage Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 something rare today. D-Lish, I think I am in love:love:
Author Kelso Posted February 14, 2007 Author Posted February 14, 2007 Thanks guys for your replies, I really appreciate it...nice knowing that there's always people willing to help, even strangers. I guess you're right D-Lish, it's just the fact that I got rejected that is playing my mind right now. Like I said, I don't think that I would like this relationship at all today. But it still plays with me like never before every once in a while. I visit her MySpace every once in a while - feel like crap afterwards. It's just unbelieveble that I have this anger feeling when I see that she has other guys in her toplist. I mean, I am seeing someone myself and I have removed her from my toplist over 2 months ago (part of NC, didn't wanna have to look at her every time I logged on). I've been strong though and have resisted checking her blog for about a month. I broke tonight and well ... I'm quite relieved as there was nothing to see there and it feels like someone unloaded a ton of brick from my shoulders, I don't know why. I probably will never be happy with the new girl if I'm gonna think this way. And you can believe that this isn't how I've been thinking for the past weeks. I'm just gonna go to sleep soon ... and when I will wake up. I won't be sitting in my chair shaking ... It will all be gone ... for a while at least Thanks again for your replies...
kitten chick Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Don't check her profile Don't check her profile Don't check her profile Don't check her profile Don't check her profile Don't check her profile
Star Gazer Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Um, ya need to delete her as a friend. Hopefully she's private, thereby preventing you from checking up on her.
D-Lish Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 something rare today. D-Lish, I think I am in love:love: ah, sometimes maturity happens in yer 30's! Now if only I could retain the wisdom I have accrued and have the appearance of a 25 year old, I'd be set! D
D-Lish Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Thanks guys for your replies, I really appreciate it...nice knowing that there's always people willing to help, even strangers. I guess you're right D-Lish, it's just the fact that I got rejected that is playing my mind right now. Like I said, I don't think that I would like this relationship at all today. But it still plays with me like never before every once in a while. I visit her MySpace every once in a while - feel like crap afterwards. It's just unbelieveble that I have this anger feeling when I see that she has other guys in her toplist. I mean, I am seeing someone myself and I have removed her from my toplist over 2 months ago (part of NC, didn't wanna have to look at her every time I logged on). I've been strong though and have resisted checking her blog for about a month. I broke tonight and well ... I'm quite relieved as there was nothing to see there and it feels like someone unloaded a ton of brick from my shoulders, I don't know why. I probably will never be happy with the new girl if I'm gonna think this way. And you can believe that this isn't how I've been thinking for the past weeks. I'm just gonna go to sleep soon ... and when I will wake up. I won't be sitting in my chair shaking ... It will all be gone ... for a while at least Thanks again for your replies... Stay away from her profile- checking it is toxic to your recovery. What you don't know can't hurt you... that's so very true. D
suchislife Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Yup, I agree, what you don't know can't hurt you. AND, don't let anyone try to give you information either. I actually had a once very close friend email me today to let me know that she is working with the Mad Texter...the guy I really, really cared about. Just a little tidbit to either hurt me, get me to try to be her friend again so I can drill her for info, whatever. I don't know if she was being mean or what, but I do know she is trying to open up an old wound. I will be cordial but my "friends" know how hurt I was, and would not feed me information about someone who couldn't let bygones by bygones. So, protect yourself. Remember, people can't really change quickly, and can only change if they really, really want to. I never cease to be amazed at the lengths people will go to to try to get to you, and with technology the way it is, it's so easy... Get very busy. I've been working at that for about 2 months, and I am finally, very slowly moving on. I did all I could and apologized for anything I did wrong with the Mad Texter, he did not respond, and now I am making more friends, trying new things, and being very gentle with myself. Make your life so good that you just know you did the best you could and that you are happy. Just think, life with no drama.
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