Meaplus3 Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 This is just F*** GREAT! I was just informed by my H that he had SEX with a stripper while away on business. Gee I guess now I am soooo freaking glad I confessed about my A, look where it got me! I am so mad right now. Guess I can move on over to the BS forum! Sorry had to VENT! AP:sick:
movinon05 Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Question. Am I wrong or did you just have an EA? Not a PA? Seems you now have even more on your plate. Do you think its true or do you think he told you that to test you?
mopar crazy Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Seems you now have even more on your plate. Do you think its true or do you think he told you that to test you? Wondering the same. If he is just blowing smoke out of his a$$ or do you think he is telling the truth? You have a lot of to deal w/, sorry.
Author Meaplus3 Posted February 14, 2007 Author Posted February 14, 2007 Question. Am I wrong or did you just have an EA? Not a PA? Seems you now have even more on your plate. Do you think its true or do you think he told you that to test you? It was an EA with some touching. NO joke he told me about it because he had relations with me when he got home. The doctor gave him a pill for me to take. Oh this is such a FRIGGEN mess! He now claims he did not have sex this stripper was just touching him all over. AP
burning 4 revenge Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 having sex with strippers isn't really adultery
Art_Critic Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Was it a payback Affair ?.. Maybe he was just paying it forward for you..
Author Meaplus3 Posted February 14, 2007 Author Posted February 14, 2007 Was it a payback Affair ?.. Maybe he was just paying it forward for you.. He told me it was very late, he had a several drink's he was thinking about my EA with MM and he decided to get a lap dance from a stripper. So ok it's fair I guess? Just did not expect this of him. Why act so cool and collected about my A and then go out and have a little fun himself AP
Art_Critic Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 So ok it's fair I guess? Hopefully his acting out and showing his anger by paying you back is over.. otherwise he is going to keep making you pay..
movinon05 Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Hold on! Back up! And please excuse my naivety! He had sex with a stripper. His doctor gave YOU a pill to take? But then it was just a lapdance? Huh? You did touching, he did sex? (or not)!
Author Meaplus3 Posted February 14, 2007 Author Posted February 14, 2007 Hold on! Back up! And please excuse my naivety! He had sex with a stripper. His doctor gave YOU a pill to take? But then it was just a lapdance? Huh? You did touching, he did sex? (or not)! Oh I am just a mess with this. He swears it was NO sex just touching a lap dance? I have know idea what goes on in strip club's for I have never been to one. I am seeing my doc first thing in the morning for I do not know what to do. Lesson learned! NEVER confess to an A!!!!!!! AP
Art_Critic Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Lesson learned! NEVER confess to an A!!!!!!! You had my sympathy until you said this.. ^ That is the lesson you learned ? to lie about it ?.. You would think the lesson you would have learned would've been to not have had the affair in the first place.. I'll bet you think your affair was your husbands fault ? and his was his also ?
ratingsguy Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 I'm not sure exactly what to make of this, but I will say one thing. If a man confesses that he slept with another woman... it's probably true. I couldn't imagine any reason on the face of this earth why a committed man would make up such a story. It's like opening up a can of worms for absolutely no reason. Of course I could be wrong, but I'm just telling you what my male brain is telling me.
Author Meaplus3 Posted February 14, 2007 Author Posted February 14, 2007 You had my sympathy until you said this.. ^ That is the lesson you learned ? to lie about it ?.. You would think the lesson you would have learned would've been to not have had the affair in the first place.. I'll bet you think your affair was your husbands fault ? and his was his also ? Art, You are right! I should have never had an A in the first place it was very WRONG! I have lost so much respect for myself from this whole thing. I can only imagine now what my H was thinking whe I confessed? I am sure much of what is going thru my mind right now! He say's he DID not sleep with the stripper, that is very hard to do? Should I believe that? AP
movinon05 Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Look, at this point I am not trying to compare apples to oranges here, but you say you had an EA, NOT a PA. That's a different ball game. But you still haven't answered about the pill his doctor gave him for you. Why would he go to a doctor if he wasn't worried? That says something altogether different, to me at least.
suchislife Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 What? I don't get this. Why is having sex with a stripper NOT adultery? What is it then, and why does whatever you call it make it better or worse? Stop the rollercoaster! This is a one way street to nowhere. I don't care who did what. I could not live with this.
NoIDidn't Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 answerplease I am so sorry for all that you are going through right now. First off, I believe that your H is telling the truth. Second, while you may feel that an EA is different from a PA, I can tell you that he does not. When I found out about my H EA, I wanted to go find someone to have sex with just because I was pissed that things weren't going well for both of us and he went out and found an outlet for himself. I didn't do it, but I sure as h*ll thought about it. That said, your H has lost quite a bit of respect for you. But it seems that he wrapped up his own level of self-respect with his respect for you. Not good. What I am saying is he was proud of his status as YOUR H. You did a good thing confessing your A, don't ever regret that. It was needed. He returned the favor, though he shouldn't have allowed himself to go as far as he did. He didn't have to tell you, if his intent was only payback. I know you are in therapy, but are the two of you in therapy? Now is a good time. Both of you are hurting and this just added salt to both wounds. MC is hard, but worth it. You might be hurt by each other, but now is the time to look to each other and no one else for help with your healing. It can be done. Go see your doctor and keep the communication lines open as much as you can with your H.
stillhere Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 AP, i have the same thoughts as MO. Why did the doc give you a pill as well? Something happened between your H and that stripper, and it wasn't just a lap dance. The only way you would need a pill (i'm assuming it's for an STD, but correct me if i'm wrong) is if he contracted something and possibly gave it to you. Now, the only way to contract something is if he had his pants and whitey tighties off too, along with her naked hoo hoo touching him there. I've been to strip clubs a few times, and as far as i understand and seen, men are fully clothed at all times. Unless the stripper is willing to do more for the right price. Most upscale strip clubs won't let their strippers have sex with "clients", but the more seedy ones allow anything to go on behind closed doors. I think it's smart that you are going to see your doc. You may have something that could endanger your life.
whichwayisup Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 can anyone help figure out this cakeman I lived with and loved for 6 years. Three years ago he ran back to his x wife and I thought that is where he needed to be but then he would come over and visit me and run back to the xwife. I finally took him back after about weeks of this. Now recently he did the same thing again. Seeing the x and wanting to see me at the same time. Back and forth between 2 women. This time I shut the door after about 2 week but he is still trying to see me. I just don't understand. Any advice out there Donnie, you need to start your own thread that way people can help you.
Art_Critic Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Art, You are right! I should have never had an A in the first place it was very WRONG! I have lost so much respect for myself from this whole thing. I can only imagine now what my H was thinking whe I confessed? I am sure much of what is going thru my mind right now! He say's he DID not sleep with the stripper, that is very hard to do? Should I believe that? I don't know if you should believe it or not.. but maybe now is a good time for a good sit down, face to face, heart to heart talk and lay all the cards on the table so you both can get down to working on the marriage.. Hope things work out for you both...
whichwayisup Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 This is just F*** GREAT! I was just informed by my H that he had SEX with a stripper while away on business. Gee I guess now I am soooo freaking glad I confessed about my A, look where it got me! I am so mad right now. Guess I can move on over to the BS forum! Sorry had to VENT! AP:sick: Whatever you do, DO NOT TELL THE MM NEIGHBOUR about this. It will NOT help you at all. Do not turn to him, talk to him, rely on him for any comfort. Right now, both you and your H have made mistakes. Two wrongs do not make a right - So, no need to hold back, for either of you. You're hurting, he's hurting, you cheated, he cheated. Bottomline now - DO you want to work on the marriage, forgive eachother and TRY to fix things? Remember the kids....It seems they've been forgotten in the mix here. It was an EA with some touching. NO joke he told me about it because he had relations with me when he got home. The doctor gave him a pill for me to take. Oh this is such a FRIGGEN mess! He now claims he did not have sex this stripper was just touching him all over. AP Is right. Though, I imagine AP, this is how he has been feeling about you and the MM neighbour. I don't mean that harshly honey, it's just now BOTH of you are in pain, pissed off, trust broken.......Again, two wrongs don't make a right. I really hope he didn't catch anything - Definately get yourself to the DR and get a full physical, blood work done, the works. He told me it was very late, he had a several drink's he was thinking about my EA with MM and he decided to get a lap dance from a stripper. So ok it's fair I guess? Just did not expect this of him. Why act so cool and collected about my A and then go out and have a little fun himself AP See, I think him acting cool and collected - he was in shock and probably thought he COULD get over it, work through it but maybe as time has gone on, inside he was a ticking bomb, just waiting to go off. Unfortunately he made a bad error in judgement by going to a stripper and having the touchy feely lap dance. DUMB DUMB DUMB. He wasn't thinking, or if he was, it was OUT of anger, revenge.. Oh I am just a mess with this. He swears it was NO sex just touching a lap dance? I have know idea what goes on in strip club's for I have never been to one. I am seeing my doc first thing in the morning for I do not know what to do. Lesson learned! NEVER confess to an A!!!!!!! AP Nope, now you two can hold NOTHING BACK. Get yourselves into marriage counselling NOW. Its' fixable if you want your marriage to work... Art, You are right! I should have never had an A in the first place it was very WRONG! I have lost so much respect for myself from this whole thing. I can only imagine now what my H was thinking whe I confessed? I am sure much of what is going thru my mind right now! He say's he DID not sleep with the stripper, that is very hard to do? Should I believe that? AP Neither of you now can believe what the other person is saying. Marriage counselling... My thoughts are with ya, I am sorry that this is going on. For both of you.
Author Meaplus3 Posted February 14, 2007 Author Posted February 14, 2007 Whatever you do, DO NOT TELL THE MM NEIGHBOUR about this. It will NOT help you at all. Do not turn to him, talk to him, rely on him for any comfort. Right now, both you and your H have made mistakes. Two wrongs do not make a right - So, no need to hold back, for either of you. You're hurting, he's hurting, you cheated, he cheated. Bottomline now - DO you want to work on the marriage, forgive eachother and TRY to fix things? Remember the kids....It seems they've been forgotten in the mix here. Is right. Though, I imagine AP, this is how he has been feeling about you and the MM neighbour. I don't mean that harshly honey, it's just now BOTH of you are in pain, pissed off, trust broken.......Again, two wrongs don't make a right. I really hope he didn't catch anything - Definately get yourself to the DR and get a full physical, blood work done, the works. See, I think him acting cool and collected - he was in shock and probably thought he COULD get over it, work through it but maybe as time has gone on, inside he was a ticking bomb, just waiting to go off. Unfortunately he made a bad error in judgement by going to a stripper and having the touchy feely lap dance. DUMB DUMB DUMB. He wasn't thinking, or if he was, it was OUT of anger, revenge.. Nope, now you two can hold NOTHING BACK. Get yourselves into marriage counselling NOW. Its' fixable if you want your marriage to work... Neither of you now can believe what the other person is saying. Marriage counselling... My thoughts are with ya, I am sorry that this is going on. For both of you. Whichway, Thank's! Oh NO not telling MM about this NO way! No MC here Just a Dcotor and a Lawyer as I see it right now! I am not happy! I was not happy 18 month's ago when I started the A. Time to move on for me and the kid's. I have GREAT support from my family and my friend's, so I think I can do this. You know before I heard about this stripper thing with H how I was feeling and leaning. ROCK on H have the strippers and what ever they may bring you. A real loving woman who is kind and dear NO way pal not!! AP
whichwayisup Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 It's your choice, but is it possible that you're jumping the gun here? You and your husband haven't been to MC to even TRY to make it work. I just don't want you 3 years from now wish that you two had tried to work on the marriage and give it your best before throwing in the towel......... Have you two even talked? Is he in the house or somewhere else? Are you two fighting right now or it is silent? Just wondering.
Author Meaplus3 Posted February 14, 2007 Author Posted February 14, 2007 It's your choice, but is it possible that you're jumping the gun here? You and your husband haven't been to MC to even TRY to make it work. I just don't want you 3 years from now wish that you two had tried to work on the marriage and give it your best before throwing in the towel......... Have you two even talked? Is he in the house or somewhere else? Are you two fighting right now or it is silent? Just wondering. Whichway, Not fighting., Just normal conversation over what is best for the kid's. Whichway, My kid's are so smart! I want them to have the best of everything, however I now realize that I need to figure out how to give them that on my own! MC, Don't think so! I said that before the stripper thing. I know it will take alot for me to walk away but I KNOW it's for the best! AP
whichwayisup Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 But what does your husband want? Is he feeling it's best to divorce as well?
Author Meaplus3 Posted February 14, 2007 Author Posted February 14, 2007 But what does your husband want? Is he feeling it's best to divorce as well? NO. He want's to stay married. He say's he love's me, That I am the best wife the best thing that ever happened to him. Howevre keep in mind he just confessed to the Stripper. AP
Recommended Posts