Zakuro Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 I just really need to talk about this! OK so i guess this goes here seeing as i was involved with a guy who's engaged.. and didnt even mention another girl till id gone out with him for like a month It really came as such a surprise, i got a call from him and he was all nervous, i atleast expected an "i dont wanna see you anymore" or something along those lines but NO he asks me "you did know im engaged didnt you?" & of course im like NO I DIDNT KNOW > < ive been playing it cool ever since, like it just doesnt matter.. seems to make things worse cuz he's after me even more =S in a weird way.. See we go to the same martial arts class around like 4 times a week, since the first day he'd always stare at me when he thought i didnt see him i just guessed it was cuz im the only girl in the class, but anyways, he started talking to me a lot, changing places to be next to me & even taking up some of my habits =O every time he said something funny he'd look at me as if to see if i found it funny, and even defended me when the guys would make fun of me (even tho we're all so close we make fun of each other pretty much every class haha) and i swear the way he looked at me was just not the way someone looks at just a friend ya know? and every time he looked at me and i looked back he smiled at me, everytime we talked he smiled.... i dunno i just completely felt like he was into me > < he even asked me out a few times and started text messaging me on the cellphone like every day sometimes even after class even tho it was like 1am =S and tell me that he had a lot of fun with me and stuff... so ok after a month of going out with him i just had to ask what his intentions were or sumn like that, and thats when he told me he was engaged! I was so surprised that it even took me a while to process it and i was all normal.. he said he wanted to talk to me later n i was like ok since guys normally say that and afterwards just act like nothing happened, but he actually called me up the next day before class cuz he wanted to meet with me to talk! i didnt wanna but he catched me before class anyways so i just gave in to see what he had to say n we went to a nearby place to talk privately.. he was super nervous and i told him he was the one who wanted to talk so he should just talk n he agreed and told me he didnt want anything to change with us, how would it not change? circumstances are different for me now that i know he has someone i cant just keep on going out with him, talking to him on the phone and texting with him till late night, how could i knowing he has someone? im a really stupidly calm person so i was just like "ooook then" he litterally told me like 5 times in the conversation that he didnt want things to change! THEN he told me it was a shame that he didnt meet me first cuz if he had he wouldve gone for me instead, that actually if i had joined the class a few months back he wouldve gone for me =\ said that we have so much in common and that it'd be cool if we actually got together, that we'd make a kickass couple..... i mean seriously i didnt and still dont know what to say to that.. i asked how long he's been engaged and he said like around 2 years!! i mean if i had joined the class a few months back as he said he'd have still been engaged with her what the hell?? And he started nagging that she's too jealous that it annoys him cuz she gets jealous of pretty much anyone he talks with, that they've almost broken up like 3 or 4 times and they actually almost broke up the day before we talked > < i just dont know why he'd tell me all that its just irrelevant.. we went back to class and afterwards i just had to ask so i txtd him asking why he went out with me if he was engaged all this time, and if he considered it going out as just friends then what was up with his messages? (cuz he'd send me ones saying "the prettiest zakuro, how are you today?" [yup no real name haha] or "perfect my lady, well go see that one" or blah blah), ditched class next day to meet up with my best friends and the next class he'd be trying a lot to talk to me, when id stop training id go and stand near the door and watch the teacher train or sumn and he'd go and stand next to me and get closer each time last time he did he tried to talk to me but my teacher told me to try something so i practically ignored him, he'd look at me a lot during class and be all serious like really i remember sitting on the floor and looking up and he'd be looking directly at me, id turn my gaze somewhere else and back and he'd still be looking at me so i just stared at the floor or sumn it was so uncomfortable!! i got the feeling that he'd try to txt me after class i dunno why so i left my cellphone on top of my drawer and fell asleep, and the next day i checked it and it had a message from him from 1:50am!! he said he was sorry he hadnt been able to answer my message and that he didnt see anyhting wrong with going out with me as friends, and that calling me pretty was just like a nick and that it was just the truth cuz he thinks im really pretty but he has a girl and told me to answer him if i could and if not we'd talk later, well i didn message him i told him That while he may not find anything wrong with going out with me that his girl probly does adn he can send the wrong message, that if i'd have known he had someone id have never gone out with him not even if i knew it was just as friends, that i dont want any more problems (and a little joke that his fionce would send someone to kill me hehe) and the damage was done & it was just onna those things that no matter how hard you think you just cant understand it.. he didnt answer and the next day, yesterday, he came to class a bit late and was all serious and quiet all class, and again would look at me a lot but in a more like sad way i dunno =\ i hung out with the instructor almost all class and tried to just be cheery and not let it affect me, and the more i didnt pay mind to him the more he'd be serious! so we didnt talk all class till the end when i was changing to go home he went into the waiting room to drink some water and started talking to me still sounding kinda down, i just answered like id have normally he said he didnt have credit on his cell anymore and just started making conversation with me, i tried ignoring him but i just couldnt! we ended up talking all normally and eventually he started looking at me like before, all happy.. i dunno its just too confusing to me even if everything is so clear.... and i still feel like he likes me but now it sucks cuz i know theres someone else and im kinda the other girl > < i just feel wrong and ive seen him when he's with her and i daresay he's a lot more cheery with me, and even the way he looks at her, it just doesnt seem like he loves her, ya know you just know when a couple's in love and i just got the feeling from her side but not from his.. maybe im too biased but grrr this just sucks so much!! even more cuz i was kinda starting to fall for him > < and even if i know i wouldnt go out with him anymore or anything i still cant help feeling stuff for him sometimes *o* Well id really apreciate it if someone could help me out here, i dunno just with an opinion or suggestion or whatever.. thanks..
MoonGirl Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 Yuck! This guy is really playing with your mind. If I were you, I certainly wouldn't continue associating with this guy, and you are right to realize that you shouldn't date someone like him. Can you switch martial arts classes so you don't see him anymore?
whichwayisup Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 You have two choices...End it completely and tell him to call you when his relationship/engagement is called off. If you don't, you'll be the OW in his life, enabling him to cheat on his future wife. And, you'll be selling yourself short! I mean, could you really trust this guy?? he IS cheating on her, not a good way to start a life off with someone eh?
Seen_It_All Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 Zurkuro, you seem like a really sweet, genuinely kindhearted young lady. This guy, however, is one of the biggest scumbags on the planet. You sound very young and I think you're in a vulnerable place to be conned by this lying sack of garbage. Please remember this if you never remember anything else as you go through life: RESPECT YOURSELF. You're not respecting yourself if you now know this guy lied to you - BOLD FACED LIED TO YOU - for a month and led you on to believe you were forming a romantic bond with him and you're STILL giving him the time of day. He lied to you WILLFULLY, KNOWINGLY, and with MALICE. Why with malice? Because he knew damned well you were going to be HURT, DISAPPOINTED, and feeling very FOOLISH when the truth came out - and he DID IT ANYWAY. Simply because he's looking to get a little piece on the side. He's REPULSIVE. People should only have ONE chance to disrespect you. He's done it in spades. LOUD AND CLEAR. It doesn't matter what his lame sob story is. It doesn't matter what he says about his girlfriend. This is all about how he disrespected and CONNED you. Your pride and self respect are two of the most important things you'll EVER possess. Do not let anyone, and I mean anyone, ever compromise that. Ever.
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