CaliGuy Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 CaliGuy, it is difficult a difficult line to toe and many see confidence as arrogance. I am guilty of that myself. Maybe it depends on my mindset at the time. If I am feeling negatively, I may see arrogance (negative connotation to that feeling) and when I'm feeling positively I see confidence. Not to threadjack, but I referred someone struggling with confidence/esteem issues to you for some assistance and guidance this morning on another thread. Hope you don't mind, I really think you can help and you immediately popped into my head when he said he needed some pointers on how to find it/get it back. Yes he did PM me but I asked him to give me more of the story so I could offer some advice. Thanks for the CONFIDENCE in me
CaliGuy Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Yes I would agree with you except for people graviate towards positive and happy people. I see it as the opposite. At least for me. I had more friends when I gossiped and shared my personal information. Lots of unhappy people I see. I try to be positive all the time when I'm around people. And for a lot of people they can't stand it. It's just iritates them when I don't gossip or talk about my personal problems. I come off as someone who has none so people get jealous. There is more to live then being in the crapper. Doesn't do any good. I'd rather be happy then worrying everyday about problems. Some of my problems are always going to be there. No point in dwelling on it. Plus I find I like being positive. It makes life so much more enjoyable. Gossipy people are not good to hang around. "Silence is a friend who never betrays." I would just find a group of friends who appreciate your happiness and don't bug you for personal details. I had to learn to shut up and stop talking about my personal life. It took time but now when I chat I try and find something that interest them and talk about it.
Porn_Guy Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Right, and she never would have had a FWB with me unless I wanted it. well you forget that many men will do FWB but few women will do it... Not all of us have to settle for only what we're offered, bro. everyone has to settle....mainly cause we can only go out with people willing to go out with us.
magichands Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 everyone has to settle....mainly cause we can only go out with people willing to go out with us. Some have more to bargain with than others. What a bright and cheery perspective on Valentine's Day.
CaliGuy Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 well you forget that many men will do FWB but few women will do it... Because they have self-respect, Alpha. everyone has to settle....mainly cause we can only go out with people willing to go out with us. Always a half-empty glass in your house, eh?
CaliGuy Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Probably because everyone I've been meeting are not in my league. (Wheter up or down i don't know - I just don't have the same interests as most). If you are basing your assesment of someone on face value alone (ie: Never getting to know them well) then how you can say with authority that someone is above or below your level? Answer: You can't. I used to assess people on the outside until I learned it was happening to me as well. I was being judged inaccurately based on little information. How many times have you met someone who at first seemed like a complete arse only to later get to know them and find out "Hey, they are not so bad after all." We all have good days and bad days. What's sad is we're often "judged" based on a few interactions with someone and it's that tiny amount of time spent together that someone may form a lifetime opion of. "There ain't no good guys, there ain't no bad guys. There's only you and me and we just disagree." Cheers.
tanbark813 Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 well you forget that many men will do FWB but few women will do it... You'd be surprised.
alphamale Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 You'd be surprised. casual sex is much easier to get when you're young.
Pink Amulet Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Haven't you ever heard of the corny Dirty Dancing hit by good ole' Patrick S. She's Like The Wind? My ex always thought I was out of his league, but I was with him for five years and he cheated on me- go figure.
tanbark813 Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 My ex always thought I was out of his league Well, yeah. Have you seen yourself?
bluetuesday Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 i agree with everything caliguy said. there is one head that's screwed on right. you are what you think you are. never a truer word. if everyone could only learn this lesson, LS would probably have to shut down for lack of people with problems. also i don't want b4r to go!! he's my favourite poster by a mile. it won't be the same calling him mark. yeah, i know.
tragicglands Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 also i don't want b4r to go!! he's my favourite poster by a mile. Me too. Don't go, b4r. Please!!
CaliGuy Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Haven't you ever heard of the corny Dirty Dancing hit by good ole' Patrick S. She's Like The Wind? My ex always thought I was out of his league, but I was with him for five years and he cheated on me- go figure. He was insecure, right from the very start. He told you he was insecure. In his mind, he had already lost you, regardless of how long you spent with him. His cheating was a way to justfiy his lack of worth and confidence. It gave him an out "See, I don't deserve her." It had nothing to do with you and you're 1000 times better off. Nothing worse than insecurity when it comes to relationships. It's the most "unsexy" thing there is (well, there are some physical things but I am talking mentally).
bluetuesday Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Me too. Don't go, b4r. Please!! yep. it sounds much nicer when you say it. shall we arrange a petiton?
Pyro Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 yep. it sounds much nicer when you say it. shall we arrange a petiton? I want him to stay too, but apparently this new LS member Mark B doesn't think too highly of him. I think that we need to get rid of Mark if we want B4R to stay.
magichands Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 I want him to stay too, but apparently this new LS member Mark B doesn't think too highly of him. I think that we need to get rid of Mark if we want B4R to stay. Yeah. And get rid of that sad f*cker, tragicglands. I do the humour around here.
Pyro Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Yeah. And get rid of that sad f*cker, tragicglands. I do the humour around here. Lets just get rid of everyones second username on here while we are at it.
Pink Amulet Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Well, yeah. Have you seen yourself? Aw well ain't you just tha sweetest lil' thang God eva put breath in too! He was insecure, right from the very start. He told you he was insecure. In his mind, he had already lost you, regardless of how long you spent with him. His cheating was a way to justfiy his lack of worth and confidence. It gave him an out "See, I don't deserve her." It had nothing to do with you and you're 1000 times better off. Nothing worse than insecurity when it comes to relationships. It's the most "unsexy" thing there is (well, there are some physical things but I am talking mentally). You know far too much about people and relationships for your age Cali. Where is B4R going?!?!
magichands Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Lets just get rid of everyones second username on here while we are at it. Then wouldn't you just be "The" ? That doesn't make a lot of sense. Maybe we need to give this a little more thought.
Pink Amulet Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 I want him to stay too, but apparently this new LS member Mark B doesn't think too highly of him. I think that we need to get rid of Mark if we want B4R to stay. I am completely out of the loop here. Can someone please refer me!!
magichands Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 You know far too much about people and relationships for your age Cali. He's the oracle.
Pyro Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 I am completely out of the loop here. Can someone please refer me!! Drugs are bad for you.
Pyro Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Then wouldn't you just be "The" ? That doesn't make a lot of sense. Maybe we need to give this a little more thought. You know what I meant.
CaliGuy Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 i agree with everything caliguy said. there is one head that's screwed on right. you are what you think you are. never a truer word. if everyone could only learn this lesson, LS would probably have to shut down for lack of people with problems. also i don't want b4r to go!! he's my favourite poster by a mile. it won't be the same calling him mark. yeah, i know. I just have one word for you. PO-TA-TOES
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