sadfish Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 I'm sure no one has an answer for me, so i guess this is just a rant, but my ex and i have been apart for a year and a half now, he's got his GF, i'm trudging through dating hell, and we're still "friends". I use that term loosely, because i really don't know what we are. We've been intimate 3 times since the break up, but haven't done so since last August--i saw him in November, but i didn't let anything happen because i'm still trying to move on. Anyway, he contacts me at least once a week to check in or whatever, and i just go with it--i never bring up anything specific, he just wants to keep connected to me somehow. I never contact him, mind you. Anyway, he's got an arm injury, which i know about and every time he is about to go to the dr or something happens with it, he contacts me and, i don't know, it seems like he's trying to get some sympathy/compassion from me. Yet every time i offer to go with him, or just help him out--AS A FRIEND--he puts up this huge front about how he likes to be alone and can do it himself. Ooook... So why would he keep bringing it up. He just contacted me--after 3 weeks this time, and i will admit, i was worried i hadn't heard from him (but i didn't want to contact him because i feel it shows my weakness for him; meaning if he wants my friendship, he can make the contact effort since he dumped me and i'm the one trying to move on). Anyway he's telling me how awful of a time he's had and how scared he's been, how much pain, etc--knowing full well that it totally appeals to my nurturing desire! It's like torture! So i ask him, well, where's your gf then? and he just dodges the question... so what the hell? lol Anyone?
notmakingsense Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 These are just little check-ins to see how much you care for him, and he is getting some compassion from you -- and this is feeding his ego. If you don't want to be his friend, then stop giving him any signs that you give a $hit. Next time he calls to tell you about his woes, cut him off and tell him you have to run because your date is arriving to pick you up.
CaliGuy Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 These are just little check-ins to see how much you care for him, and he is getting some compassion from you -- and this is feeding his ego. If you don't want to be his friend, then stop giving him any signs that you give a $hit. Next time he calls to tell you about his woes, cut him off and tell him you have to run because your date is arriving to pick you up. Yep. Pretty much. He wants to keep her on a string in case his current G/F doesn't work out. He wants to make sure she doesn't move on in the process.
Author sadfish Posted February 14, 2007 Author Posted February 14, 2007 Thanks for both your responses... Hmm, he does often ask me about my love/sex life, to which i don't give him any answers to. It's not that i don't want to be his friend, because i do--and i've been dating all kinds of guys in the past year and a half. I just don't understand WHY he wants MY sympathy when he has a girlfriend that he claims is everything he ever wanted--doesn't make sense to me. I always say to him "so, why are you telling me this? Tell your girlfriend..." yet he still continues on...it's almost amusing at times...lol. A male friend of mine thinks he's in denial that he's in love with me. That would be really interesting seeing that HE dumped ME because i cared too much about him (at the time). *sigh* You menfolk are weird
Recommended Posts