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How to handle Valentine's Day when in NC?


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Posted

For those of you following my story...I ended things with MM on Feb. 1st and went NC. I broke NC on Sunday (after 11 days) and we talked on the phone. Short summary is that nothing has changed for us and I am back to NC.

 

My question is this....I (and maybe I'm incorrect) anticipate that MM will send me something for Valentine's Day....flowers or something. How do I handle that? I don't want to appear rude and just ignore it but I don't want to get into a situation where we start talking again. I could be way off and maybe he won't do anything but my gut feeling is that he will. I want to be prepared. What should I do?

Posted

If you are seriously in NC, then it should not matter what he does.... no? If you are serious about NC, and he does send you something, I would not acknowledge it.

 

I am not saying that your MM doesn't have feelings for you, I am saying (and sorry, but I really believe this to be true) that if he does send you something it is to "keep you hanging on".

 

Hugs - I know you are going through h*ll.

Posted

If he doesn't send you anything, how are you going to feel? Maybe he will send ya something, but if he doesn't (just seems like you're expecting him to) I just hope you're not going to be real upset about it.

 

If he sends you something, don't contact him. He knows what's what now, and he knows what he has to do if he wants you in his life.

Posted

Unless those flowers are wrapped in copies of the divorce papers he filed, you know nothing has changed...therefore, you know you shouldn't respond.

 

Flowers are easy - a few clicks online and poof, magically they appear. Real love requires real action, the kind you've asked him for and he hasn't delivered.

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Posted

I know what all of you are saying. NC is NC and yes, it shouldn't matter what he does. I just don't want to be rude if he does something. If he doesn't then that will be ok too although knowing him like I do I suspect that he will. Either way...nothing has changed as far as our status. It would just bother me if he...or anyone...sent me something and I just ignored it without at least a simple thank you. I think that is just bad manners. Guesss all this waiting and worrying is pointless until I'm actually faced with the situation. I'll keep you posted....

Posted

Bailey,

If he does send you something you can always thank him later on. Like when he finally comes to you & says he's divorced. Better late than never.

Let us know what happens tomorrow OK.

Hang in there.

Posted
Unless those flowers are wrapped in copies of the divorce papers he filed, you know nothing has changed...therefore, you know you shouldn't respond.

 

Flowers are easy - a few clicks online and poof, magically they appear. Real love requires real action, the kind you've asked him for and he hasn't delivered.

 

I have to fully agree with Norajane. Hang in there Bailey I know it's tough.

 

AP

Posted

Since you've already talked, saying nothing will speak volumes. He knows how you feel. Don't cave.

Posted

This is simple to answer. If you're in NC, you don't respond. Kathleen said it best... you can thank him later.

Posted

If you've agreed to be NC, then he shouldn't expect a response. It wouldn't be rude not to. Actually, if you're in NC he shouldn't be sending you anything at all! It would be him being disrespectful of your wishes.

 

NC means... no contact.

Posted
If you've agreed to be NC, then he shouldn't expect a response. It wouldn't be rude not to.

 

I agree with Franny here. He knows you two are NC and I doubt he will think you're rude in any case. I think you NOT thanking him will show him you mean business!

 

Let us know what happens.

Posted

BaileyKeg,

Just wondering how you are?

Kathleen

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Posted

Thanks for checking Kathleen. I appreciate it. So far I'm doing ok. Probably a little more sad today than most. No contact from MM. Appears that I over estimated my own "gut feeling" on this one.

 

Did get a valentine from a little boy at my son's school this morning. He came running up to me and said "I want you to have this". Very cute.

Posted
Thanks for checking Kathleen. I appreciate it. So far I'm doing ok. Probably a little more sad today than most. No contact from MM. Appears that I over estimated my own "gut feeling" on this one.

 

Did get a valentine from a little boy at my son's school this morning. He came running up to me and said "I want you to have this". Very cute.

________________________________________________________________

Well hang in there Bailey & I'm here if you need to vent. Ok.

I sure do hope that little boy's valentine to you made you smile.

Posted
Thanks for checking Kathleen. I appreciate it. So far I'm doing ok. Probably a little more sad today than most. No contact from MM. Appears that I over estimated my own "gut feeling" on this one.

 

Did get a valentine from a little boy at my son's school this morning. He came running up to me and said "I want you to have this". Very cute.

 

Perhaps a wonderful sign?

Children are very instinctive--which leads one to know that you are a great and loving person.

What more could one ask?

Some day you may look back and know that this was the most special Valentine's Day gift you have ever received...

Posted
No contact from MM.

ahh BK but deep down inside you really did want him to send you something....didn't you? You love MM.

Posted
ahh BK but deep down inside you really did want him to send you something....didn't you? You love MM.

 

Well, it's obvious SOMEONE got no Valentine...:p

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