Motor35 Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 What do you do (during heartbreak) about things that remind you of your lost love? Everything reminds me of him. Music. Restaurants. Movies. TV. EVERYTHING! I have been avoiding life completely. Should I face these fears head-on? Or should I spend time mourning and avoid these places and things? HELP!
polywog Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 Ugh, it sucks, I know how you feel... You just have to go out, live life, and you will gradually be desensitized to all that pain. I may take time, but it will happen. Just be kind to yourself when it happens. bunnies to give you strength: :bunny: :bunny:
MotherGooze Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 I changed the clothes I wore when I was with him. Even did my hair different. Watched tv and thought to myself that I could choose myself what I wanted to see and that I was free. Never put on music he enjoyed I just tried to avoid him as much as I could and work more on what I wanted. Oh yeah and face your fears. For me going outside and meet up with people was kind of scary at first but after a while I felt better and better. Just try and live your life, enjoy your freedom, do what you want to do.
Kelso Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 You don't say how long it's been since you two broke up. But assuming you've just recently broken up, you definetly need time to mourn. First thing is to get rid of all the thing that remind you of him. Throw it away or at least put it in a box. I did put everything that reminded me of my ex in a box which I keep at my parents house ... so I'll have to drive for 20 mintues of I wanna take a look at it. So I don't. Second of all - just give yourself time. The feeling you're having is the worst of them all, but the time will help you to heal. What I did I let myself grieve for about 2 months. Then I just decided that it was time to let go and I couldn't waste my life thinking about someone that doesn't care for me as much as I cared for them. Then I decided to take a week break from my life and went to another country. It felt great to walk the streets without everything remind you of your ex. But I recommend that you don't that too soon. When I got back home, I wasn't thinking about her all the time. She still poppes in my mind, but not constantly. I hope you can use my advices and remember that NC will help you to heal a lot faster. Hope you'll feel better soon Kelso
FallenTree Posted February 15, 2007 Posted February 15, 2007 What helps the most, or at least for me, is find something that is so consuming that it prevails in your life for a while....For example, I recently got a new job & have started to realize, whoa, this is awesome....I'm forgetting the ex. Sure I have my thoughts here and there, but for the most part, I have more important thoughts now.
KittenMoon Posted February 15, 2007 Posted February 15, 2007 It can help to face it head on. I even listen to "our song" just to prove to myself I can (well, I don't listen as much as I don't skip it when it comes up on random). If you can do something that had meaning a few time, it can help reduce the meaning, or at least dull it down a bit.
AriaIncognito Posted February 15, 2007 Posted February 15, 2007 It also helps to try to establish new memories with things so that it doesn't hurt. If you had a favorite restaurant, go there with a ton of friends and havea good time and you'll eventually just view that place as a place you go to with friends, not a place you and your ex went to. Etc. It's hard, but it is possible to overwrite the negative thoughts/feelings.
FallenTree Posted February 17, 2007 Posted February 17, 2007 I also got rid of everything that reminded me of the guy - but I did something good with some of it. For example, the clothing and CDs were given away to charity or friends. I still won't listen to certain music that we liked together, but eventually I'll go back to it.
DyingHeart Posted February 17, 2007 Posted February 17, 2007 In a period of 7 years, we did everything together. Everywhere I go, even if it's just to dunkin donuts, it still reminds me of him. Even though he's a big ass, it still hurts. I'm guessing you are still mourning, and that's ok. Whether it be 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5 months, get it all out. After a while, you'll see that you are a better person who deserves to be treated better. Take everything that was his or what he has given you and either give it back, box it up or throw it away. Try to make new friends that have no ties to your ex and try to have a good time, even if it's only going out once a week. Take it slow and before long, you won't be bothered as much by things that remind you of him. Time does heal, and it will, I promise you that. I'm in the process of healing, and I do have my setbacks, but I now can bounce back a lot stronger than what I could before. Just hang in there. Most of us have been in this spot, and it does hurt, and at some times it can be just pure anguish. You are not alone. Not by a longshot Hugs, Chrissi
Recommended Posts