Seks Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 It's been 6 weeks since I have been seeing this girl. Things are going along great: she's into me, I'm into her...never a dull moment. We are getting physically close. Our time spent together has varied from once a week to three or four times a week, depending on her shift work schedule. Phone calls initially were every two days or so but they have been every day now. A week or two or so ago, we discussed our relationship progress and we came to an agreement that we are exclusive. I am 6 years older than her. Her previous and only relationship lasted 2 years, with the majority of the 2nd year of that relationship being LD. It ended sometime towards end of past summer. Here are some of the issues: 1. A few nites ago, when we were talking in her room, I noticed an envelope on her end table that is addressed to some organization that has a return address of her ex's name and the apartment they used to live in together. I asked her what that was and she said "oh i have to return that to his mom". When we got out of her room to the living room, she noticed my mood kinda changed and kept on bugging me what was wrong. She finally said "it's the envelope isn't it". I asked her if she's over her ex. She kinda sat there and smiled at me and looking at me for a moment. She said that "I am almost my ex". To add to that she asked "You don't think things are going to work out between us?" and she said "I needed more time (to get over ex)". I briefly mentioned to her about me being rebounds in the past and that I don't want to be that. We kinda left the convo at that and changed the topic and the mood went back to normal. Question: was I being too nosy to ask that question? Am I being insecure and too sensitive? Jealousy??? 2. A few nites ago, I called her 4 times within a span of 10 min and she didn't picked up. She called me back 1/2 hr later, saying she just got home from the theatre and that she would have called me back anyhow. She mentioned that she kinda "got scared" and that I shouldn't worry too much about her. 3. We didn't talk yesterday...so me being all wondering and worried, I called her once late at nite, she never picked up, she never called back (she usually does within an hr if she was busy doing something). My plan was not to call her or talk to her yesterday at all but I gave in I didn't mind if she did call me...heck I never mind if she calls me whenever she wants. I really really like this girl (I've told her that...she's told me the same too). I don't want to drive her away. I've never been ** THIS CRAZY *** like this before over a girl. I guess cuz I've had 1/2 a dozen or so relationships before in the past and this is the first time that a girl and I have A LOT of common interest and similarities. Someone tell me what I should change about myself or what things I should do differently.
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 A few nites ago, I called her 4 times within a span of 10 min and she didn't picked up. She called me back 1/2 hr later, saying she just got home from the theatre and that she would have called me back anyhow. She mentioned that she kinda "got scared" and that I shouldn't worry too much about her. Ok, DON'T DO THAT AGAIN. That is definitely going to scare her away. On the flip side, if she's said that she's not over her ex, I don't know why you would want to continue seeing her anyway. Wait, I was in that boat before so I DO know why.... once you're hooked, you're hooked I guess. At any rate, if you decide to continue dating her, you're going to have to chill a little (ok, alot actually). Good luck to you, whatever you decide.
Lauriebell82 Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 i completely agree with oh what am i doing. u need to calm down. dating someone who is not over there ex is never a good idea. i'm been in that position and got completely screwed when the guy dumped me 3 months into our relationship because his ex who he was MADLY in love wtih wanted him back. the situation might turn messy. do u reallywant to be with someone who is thinking about someone else? its a hard thing to do. calling her constantly and worrying about her is not going to help matters. ur right, u will drive her away. u might want to have a serious conversation with her about what she wants out of this. she might not be ready for a relationship at this point, and pushing her into one is probably not going to be the best idea. u need to give her some space, and if ur not willing to give her time and take things slow until she resolves her feelings, then its best u end things with her. she may also be trying to go out with u to try to get over her ex(not positive, dont quote me on that) but that is what my ex bf did to me. 9 times out of 10 it DOESNT WORK. actually it might makes things worse, till she realizes that she cant forget about him and cant commit to u. talk to her and see where u stand (without seeming desperate and needy). she might not be ready for anything right now, and honestly u havnt been seeing her that long so maybe its best to get out before u really start falling for her.
luvtoto Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 Hold on loosely, but don't let go. If you cling too tightly, you'll lose control. ~ 38 Special
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