Guest Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Well, to make a long story short, my boyfriend dumped me 2 1/2 weeks ago and he is still on my mind a lot of times. Id really like at least just one chance to get him back, but it's complicated. Until a week ago, I was making all of the classic mistakes like calling and texting him repeatedly, begging him to come back, etc. I probably texted/called at least 50 times, but he only responded to maybe 5 text messages and never once answered a phone call. His lack of response was driving me crazy and just made me try more and more, and I know Ive pushed him really far away. So I know I cant call him or anything like that anymore, and I cant do the accidentally bumping into him thing to show him how fabulous Im doing without him because it would be impossible to bump into him without it being obvious that I arranged it. Even as Im writing, I know that the answer to this is that there's really nothing left to do and that trying to play games like that wont help. Ive moved on to the point that Im no longer obsessing about it and am happy and smiling once again after all those days of steady crying and hurting, so that's great! But the thing is, we had such a great relationship. We only dated for 5 months, but we always got along and all aspects of the relationship were great. He even dropped a few hints about marriage. The relationship ended after we drank too much one night, and starting arguing which erupted into a huge fight. I was so blindsighted the next day when he said he wanted to end it! I figured we would just apologize to one another for what happened and go on. And not only that, but he's never spoken to me again since except for the few text messages (which were hateful and basically said to leave him alone) so it's hard just having so many unanswered questions and such an abrupt ending to everything. He's 12 years older than me and has always said that he was stressed when he was younger and is done with that now, he rarely allows anything to stress him out and keeps people and things out of his life that cause stress. Does it sound like he's just completely done because I have the potential to cause stress? And if so, is there anyway I can just get some type of closure from him without making him feel harassed?
Davis Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Well, to make a long story short, my boyfriend dumped me 2 1/2 weeks ago. Even as Im writing, I know that the answer to this is that there's really nothing left to do and that trying to play games like that wont help. The relationship ended after we drank too much one night, and starting arguing which erupted into a huge fight. He's 12 years older than me and has always said that he was stressed when he was younger and is done with that now Is there anyway I can just get some type of closure from him without making him feel harassed? 1. He broke up with you. 2. You know the answer. No contact
Star Gazer Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Even as Im writing, I know that the answer to this is that there's really nothing left to do and that trying to play games like that wont help. You're right. There's nothing that you can do - you're not going to be able to "win" him back. Your only option is NO CONTACT. The result will be either (1) he will realize he misses you and want you back, OR (2) in the process of going through NC you'll get over him. (2) is more likely the end result of almost every breakup situation. Yours is no different. But the thing is, we had such a great relationship. We only dated for 5 months, but we always got along and all aspects of the relationship were great. He obviously didn't think so, otherwise you'd still be together. I was so blindsighted the next day when he said he wanted to end it! If you open your eyes, I'm sure you can see in retrospect what went wrong. If so, is there anyway I can just get some type of closure from him without making him feel harassed? What can he possibly say about the end of your relationship that will make you feel better? Nada. You're not going to get the kind of closure you're looking for FROM HIM. You just need to move on. Trust me, it gets easier. NC and plenty of time, and next thing you know you'll be wondering why you shed so many tears over this dude.
Davis Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Ha! I was typing a similar reply as Star Gazer's until I apparently hit the enter key by accident! So I can say I agree with Star's points. Also, I doubt the drinking/fight had all that much to do with your breakup. I think it was a good excuse for him to do what he had been planning on doing for a while: break up with you. "Stressed"? Don't make excuses for his behavior or attitude, nothing you did or could do would have changed the outcome. No Contact time! Move forward. You'll be fine!
Guest Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Ha! I was typing a similar reply as Star Gazer's until I apparently hit the enter key by accident! So I can say I agree with Star's points. Also, I doubt the drinking/fight had all that much to do with your breakup. I think it was a good excuse for him to do what he had been planning on doing for a while: break up with you. "Stressed"? Don't make excuses for his behavior or attitude, nothing you did or could do would have changed the outcome. No Contact time! Move forward. You'll be fine! Thanks to all of you who replied, I know that you're all completely right. I know that everyone in my situation says this, but it was just such a shock. Just a few hours before we broke up, he was talking about all the great things in our future. I know the fight wasnt the only factor in this or else he would have at least spoken to me by now, but its just so hard to accept that all of the things he was telling me were a bunch of lies.
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