kitten chick Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 I'm just curious, it's something that came up today as I was talking to one of my guy friends. I never date within my own religion. I just never meet anyone of the same persuasion that interests me. He was joking around and said that I am being screwed over, that I'm being sent unstable and rediculous guys until I date someone within my religion. Now my friend was saying that as a joke to lighten up my recent breakup but it has made me think a bit as to whether we are best suited to date our own kind be it religion or race or something else. I don't know, just thought I would get some of your thoughts on the topic.
blind_otter Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Strangely enough I feel like my current relationship works out better because we were both raised catholic, even though my partner is nonpracticing. Because we both went to catholic school and share a similar background, that's pretty much the only thing that is important to me.
allina Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 I think it's only an issue if you make it an issue, or if one partner, or both are religious/practising. My current SO is from a very different religion and it has never been an issue, however, neither of us care about religion or care to make it a part of our life. I would not date a practising/religious person from any faith.
Pyro Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 I think it's only an issue if you make it an issue, or if one partner, or both are religious/practising. Agreed. As long as my SO never starts preaching to me about what she believes in, or tries to tell me that what I believe is wrong, then we will get along just fine.
Storyrider Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 I only seriously dated one person who shared my religious background (Jewish) and it didn't pan out. I agree that like attracts like, but then there is that opposite thing...
insomnie Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 Well I think generally there has to be some compatibility as far as values and perspective on the world go for a relationship to work well, and a similar religious and/or ethnic background can help in that regard. But, those aren't the only things that shape our perspectives, beliefs, and thinking patterns....familial structure, interests, education, past experiences, etc. can have just as much or more to do with it. Different religious beliefs can be problematic, but only if one of you decides that that's the case for you. I think it has to do with how strongly your beliefs influence who you are, how strongly you believe you are "right", and how much you need others' beliefs to conform to yours before theirs can be somewhat right too. My mom is Orthodox Christian and my dad is an atheist. They've been married for 25 years and have the best relationship I've ever seen. My mom believes in God etc. very strongly, but she thinks my dad is a good man (he is), they share all the same goals and values, and those things are more importnat to them than religion. They brought us up as atheists. My boyfriend, like me, has no religion, and honestly I don't think I can be with someone who had religious beliefs. But, I realize this is so only because I would make religion an issue, since my lack of it is important to me. I think it really influences the way I think and what I believe in about the world. I can be kind of a zealot about it. So, for me, I know things would just run smoother if I have an atheist partner.
Recommended Posts