yousaveme Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 I have been in the house. Many times. Yes it does bother me to a certain point. Nothing has ever happened. I think if the OW lives close this probably happens more often than not.
Meaplus3 Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 We all do things when we're in love/lust/infatuation that we look back on and question whether we were actually a different person doing that. I'm a relatively shy person but some of the things i told/showed/shared with MM was bizarre for me. It was like he'd opened a little window to my soul which hadn't been there before. Answersplease - it's weird, dont ask me why, but the fact that you sort of already know the house/the wife/their home it seems less threatening that you have been in the house. I think it's more like quantum leaping into someone's life that you dont know, like your a ghost that has wandered their hallways without her knowing. It's just freaky! The nearest I got was dropping him off in a cab - this was before anything happened. I cant even remember it. I was sort of curious as to what it looks like but I dont even go near that area for fear of bumping into her. Je Ne Regrette Rien, You are right it is a bit freaky I have felt that way myself. Just hope their wall's can't talk, LOL! AP
ratingsguy Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 RG - thanks for the OM perspective! You're welcome! Although from the posts here, it seems pretty in line with the OW perspective. Seeing the family pictures at the lake house really got to me. I felt sorry for the family in the pictures (MW included)... I stared at them as if someone or something had died. I also felt bad that I betrayed the people in these photos... people who were complete strangers to me. Even thinking about it now makes me a little depressed. It sounds a little weird... anyone know what I mean?
SetMeFree Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Ratingsguy, I don't think it sounds weird at all. I completely understand how horrible you feel about betraying the people in the photos. I feel the same way and then I don't know about you, but the feelings get even worse for me when I acknowledge to myself that I want to have a relationship with him. Because I know that in order for that to happen, he has to leave his family which will hurt so many people. It's just a viscious, viscious cycle. My MM and I are at the point where we both realized that we can't go any farther until he makes some decisions about his life...either make his relationship with his W work or end it. But in order for him to give things a real chance, both of us know that it's best that we have NC. I've made it through three days and I was so strong at first, but now I'm having a really, really tough time. I can't decide if that's because tomorrow is Valentine's Day or just because this whole situation is so hard!!!!
hunnybuns Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 he has asked me to on one occasion because his W was going to be away. I think that is too risky for one thing and I would be totally weirded out by that. I told him that would freak me out...but the only reason is we would really have no where else to go. We live 1 hr. away from each other and who want to do it in the car. LOL but the answer was NO!! I dont think he liked it but oh well.
PoshPrincess Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 When I came back to the base to get him I found out (from mutual friends) that his OW had a key to my house and let herself in and out freely. Not only did my H sleep w/ her in MY BED...(the very same one we conceved our daughter in) but the OW's child slept in my daughters crib!!! Needless to say I couldn't even enter the house again. I felt like he had taken a giant sh*t on all of my happy memories of that place. It was the home we brought our daughter to when she was born. Nice guy huh? I told him he might as well light that bed on fire because I would never get in it again! (and I didn't) So as bad as I feel for being an OW myself that's one boundry I wouldn't cross. OMG, that is SO low it's unbelieveable!!! No offence, but I think your H was more out of order for letting her do that in the first place, especially letting her child sleep in your child's crib. Fancy dragging innocent kids into the sitch anyway! How bad can someone get? Saying that, I knew a girl who's H had an affair and he used to take their young daughter over to his OW house on a weekend. Unbelievable! I have to say I never went to my MMs house although he never asked me to anyway. That's one thing I don't think he would have stooped to. Do you think if we don't want to go to their house though, it's also because we are in denial and that the W/kids, etc seems less real somehow? Just a thought..... I know that once I had spoken to MMs W it was certainly that way for me.
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