Gamut Girl Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 I'm not sure what to do or think! I found out from a old friend that my boyfriend/Fiance was out a the bar and was kissing another girl. We have been together for almost 8 years and we plan on getting married in Nov 07. We just bought a home in Oct 06 and we live together. I questioned him about it and he claims that it was nothing, she was a girl from his HS and she was out for her birthday and she was trashed " he was not" and she kissed him and he did kiss her back but it did not mean anything. But he was not going to tell me about it because he knew that I would get mad. Well, I am so mad but I love him to death and I am so confused on what to think or do. He has told me a thousand times that if he could be would take that kiss back, but I'm so hurt I can't kiss or touch him without feeling sick to my stomach.
norajane Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 Has he ever done anything like this before? Do you believe what he's telling you about what happened? If you believe him when he says it meant nothing, then you have to make it clear that kissing other girls is not acceptable under any circumstances. You need him to reassure you that he understands this is not negotiable for you. He needs to acknowledge that he should not have kissed her back, that he is sorry he did that because it was disrespectful to you, he needs to apologize, and he needs to do some major ass kissing to make it up to you. Unless he can acknowledge that his part in it was wrong, you have no assurance that he do it again. That's a really important thing to get across to him - he needs to get it that it's wrong, not just that you wouldn't like it - but that it is wrong to kiss other women when he's engaged to you.
Author Gamut Girl Posted February 13, 2007 Author Posted February 13, 2007 I think that he has realized that he loves being with me and couldn't think of me not in his life. He said that he was so worried that I was going to be moved out when he came home from work. But I need to make sure that I AM the only one.
Guest Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 mine did the same thing only things have got so bad for us due to my new insecurities its destroying us.I actually saw my man kissing another girl and it shattered me and now he is accusing me of smothering him and not letting him go anywhere with the boys rather then try and fix things between us.he is being selfish! I wish you the best.it's hard and it's going to get harder,I hope you can survive it.
Author Gamut Girl Posted February 15, 2007 Author Posted February 15, 2007 I wish that I knew what to think, I love him but I just can not give in to letting things go make to normal because all I do is think of it all the time. I can not even let him touch me.
Guest Posted February 15, 2007 Posted February 15, 2007 honey,get some councelling please!If you want to make this work with him then talk to someone rather then just on here.Thats what I did and I have found I am slowly recovering from all the hurt that I had built up inside over what mine did to me. Your man has to now rebuild your trust and it will take time and you both need to sit down and talk about things,if everything gets too much and you find things getting heated then get up and say you will come back when both are calm. Although my man was caught kissing another woman I have not cut him off in the bedroom but I guess each to their own.This is our intimacy together and if anything it is bringing us more closer.COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY HERE! Good luck.
Recommended Posts