Quixotic Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 My "bf" (for lack of a better term) and I are in a "relationship". For the past 2 weeks, he's been hanging out, smoking weed and drinking with what he says are his guy friends, but I believe he's out with his ex. He's out late almost every night, but does answer his phone when I call, and does come home when I start yelling at him. But I finally got fed up with him, and went out this weekend. When he tried to call me, I told him to go deal with whatever chick he's been cheating on me with. He called me like 25 times between midnight and 4:30 in the morning, but I didn't answer his call and turned my phone off until last night. When I finally called him back last night, he didnt answer my calls, and when he finally did, he told me to go deal with who ever I wanted to, he doesn't care what I do, and since he didn't know where I was Sat night, he doesnt want to see me for the next few days. He also said to stop calling him for a while. As far as I'm concerned, he has been disappearing on me for the last couple of weeks, but when I do it to him, he gets all pissed off. I want to be with him, but he won't even talk to me at this point. If I leave him alone, like he is asking, I know he will go be with his ex and I don't want to lose him. What should I do???
Krytellan Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 This will sound rude, but this doesn't sound like a good relationship to be in. If he's doing drugs, thats bad. He's not coming home... bad. You have to yell at him to come home... bad. You're accusing him of cheating... bad. He calls you psychotically 25 times in 4 hours... bad. Need I say the communication is bad? Stop, take a breath. Go out for a lunch with him or something when everyone is sober, and talk about what's going in. Nothing will get better until you do. Can I ask how old you two are?
Author Quixotic Posted February 12, 2007 Author Posted February 12, 2007 Im mid 20s. He's 34. As you can see, age is no factor in the maturity level here.
Krytellan Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Well, you get what you ask for when you get involved with a drug addict.
Author Quixotic Posted February 12, 2007 Author Posted February 12, 2007 He smokes weed only--No hard-core drugs. Would you consider that a drug addict? There are some medical benefits to smoking marajuana...
Kamille Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 I have to agree with Krytellan on this one. One thing I want to address: the fear you have that he will go back to his ex if you don't contact him soon. If he does, then he's really not worth your time. Don't you agree? But what makes you so sure that 1) he was with his ex instead of being with his buddies (my knowledge of pothead would actually make me buy the buddy argument - if there is one thing potheads do it's hang out with buddies). 2) that he would go back to her? It sounds to me like you have some deep-rooted insecurity that is fuelling the miscommunications. Is he provoking it? Also - I think letting him contact you is your best bet in this scenario. Take the time to do activities that you find relaxing. Don't worry, there is no emergency here. You waiting for his contact ensures that everyone will be perhaps in better shape to communicate when he does call.
Krytellan Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Well, I smoked pot for 15 years. Lets just say I didn't get a life until AFTER I stopped doing it. You can rationalize it, but that won't help your situation any. As for medical uses... does he have a prescription? If not then that is not a valid argument. Look, the point is that you have chosen to be involved with a 34 year old pot smoker who acts far less than his age. I'm unclear, so what exactly are his redeeming qualities? Oh my... you are so young. Please don't waste the best years of your life in a situation that does nothing for you. You realize there are nice 24 year old man with a career and stability who don't do drugs and would treat a woman well? They do exist. Just step back and take a look at what you have. If you can say that you don't want anything else, then have fun with it.
Walk Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 I'd really stay away from the pot heads when dating. They're fun to hang out with as friends... not good as dating material. Always flake on you at the worst time.
Star Gazer Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 There are some medical benefits to smoking marajuana... Unless he's a cancer patient or suffering from pain and therefore justifiably has a medical prescription for it, there are no medical benefits to smoking MJ. I agree whole-heartedly with K.
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