silentcharon Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 You'll die... eventually. But you will have an endless string of toyboys. Mmm, I'm looking forward to it. And, Km, I'll share 'em with you!
Author KittenMoon Posted February 13, 2007 Author Posted February 13, 2007 Mmm, I'm looking forward to it. And, Km, I'll share 'em with you! Awwww, thanks SC! Mmm.... toyboys.....
Author KittenMoon Posted February 13, 2007 Author Posted February 13, 2007 So... I survived the day. Felt ok, not great. Sometimes it just jumps out like a surprise: one year. Sometimes it feels like no more than 5 mins, I swear. I just wanna say it's really embarassing that I still hurt like this. And it's exhausting hiding it all the time. My ( formerly our) friends still tiptoe around any mention of my ex, even as they make mention of other guys, dating, etc. One friend referred to him as my exbf on New Years, and it's a damn good thing I was too drunk to care much. I found an IM convo I had with him about 3-4 months after we broke up. I had forgotten about it. It was a necessary one (pertaining to a wedding we both were attending), but it was so full of BS I wanted to scream- including him asking me if he should take this one job, and telling me he missed our fights. I was so angry I didn't even finish reading it, just closed it again, very annoyed. (Looks like I have some stuff on that comp that needs erasing.) I've gotten so many abiguous messages and sentiments from him over the past year- there have been points I would have sworn he was mere inches from trying to get back with me. (I've stopped posting stuff here because I'm not interested in being flamed). Even my annoyingly fair-minded therapist is miffed by some of the things he's said/done. I'm also angry that so many people I've know have gotten second chances, even if some didn't end up working out, while I have not. I still feel a lot of anger... a lot of sorrow... geez I guess this is kinda coming down on me today. I guess the day after is worse- tomorrow will be better, right?.... oh, wait... I can't wait to move to a town without memories, where he's not five minutes away. I can't wait to be somewhere that has nothing to do with him. I can't wait to stop venting to LS!!!!!!
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