KittenMoon Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Today it's been a year since my break-up. I'm not going to sugarcoat it- I still feel pretty heartbroken. I still miss better times, I still miss the person who was my best friend for over six years. He's been 5 min away for a year- might as well be a million miles. I haven't had any interest in dating, nor have I met anyone I've had any more than a passing interest in. I'm still fighting depression on a daily basis. Therapy and meds only seem to do so much. It's not all bad, of course. I'm far more independent now, and I feel like I surpassed the quarter-life crisis I had been dealing with both before and after my break-up. I've pursued a lot of new hobbies, traveled a bit, and made a lot of new friends. I've also become a lot more confident in myself, for some reason I can't really put my finger on. I've also decided to move away from the city I live in now and go to Boston. I don't know when, it may not happen for another year or so (for financial reasons) or could happen as soon as a few months (depending on some work-related stuff). Still- it's hard to wake up every morning and realize that broken heart, that loneliness, is still there. It's hard to not think of better times, and the memories take hold for a few moments, before I'm able to banish them again. I can remember feeling lonely years ago, but now that I know what it's like to have been loved and felt connected with someone, well, this is way worse. Still- onwards...
silentcharon Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 I can remember feeling lonely years ago, but now that I know what it's like to have been loved and felt connected with someone, well, this is way worse. I can remember feeling lonely as well- I wondered if I would ever find someone who would love me. I wished upon stars for someone to find me and whisk me away with him. I wished every time I broke apart a wishbone with someone else, that I would find that special someone. I recall blowing out my birthday candles, wishing for happiness with that special person. Eight years later, my wishes have changed. I no longer wish for what I used to wish for, for I know what it is like to be loved and lost. Instead, I wish for simple happiness. When a star blazes across the night sky, I wish for happiness. I wished for happiness recently, when I blew out all twenty three candles on my cake. This past thanksgiving, I broke apart a wishbone and got the smaller end, I secretly wished for happiness anyway. Next time, if I get the chance to wish for something, I'll wish for happiness for you, KM.
Author KittenMoon Posted February 12, 2007 Author Posted February 12, 2007 Next time, if I get the chance to wish for something, I'll wish for happiness for you, KM. Thanks, SC. I'll do the same for you- I know after the year you've had as well, you deserve it.
MagnoliaJane Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 KM, Life can be such a test. And it's hard to live in the reality of black-and-white instead of in a love colored state. Some losses are so hard to live with. They punch a hole in your heart that seems like it's never going to be filled. I guess the only way to fill the hole, is to fill it with YOU. Replace the less of him with more of you. Try to find that more of you if it isn't there now. Keep hanging on to yourself, for you are one of the few certainties you have in life. And know that there are others facing that same daily struggle... I am with you.
magichands Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 If you wait long enough, and wish hard enough, anything is possible. I think you will get back together. Seems pretty obvious that the only thing separating you is pride.
kitten chick Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Sorry that you're feeling bad KM. It will get better and you will move on in your own time. Just hang on until then. Hugs.
Author KittenMoon Posted February 12, 2007 Author Posted February 12, 2007 Seems pretty obvious that the only thing separating you is pride. Gee, and here I was thinking it was because he ditched me! Silly me.
magichands Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 OK. Maybe it's only obvious to me. That happens, sometimes.
silentcharon Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Sorry, I have to agree with Magic here. Damned pride.
Author KittenMoon Posted February 12, 2007 Author Posted February 12, 2007 Sorry, I have to agree with Magic here. Damned pride. Not a chance. I laid out the red carpet for him more times than I can count- nada.
jefeco99 Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Thats what I am afraid of myself. The 1 year breakup anniversary is coming up next month for me and I'm worried about how I am going to handle it. I think what I am going to do and will advise to you is to think of everything you accomplished in the year since. Met new people, tried new things, or started new hobbies. Things you would have not done if you two were still together.
magichands Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Not a chance. I laid out the red carpet for him more times than I can count- nada. Have you tried other colours? Do we need to hold your hand through everything?! And mention that thing you do with the joystick whilst he is playing online shooting games. That was pretty hot.
magichands Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Sorry, I have to agree with Magic here. Damned pride. You're awesome. And I'm not just saying that because you agree with me. Lots of not-so-awesome people agree with me, too.
silentcharon Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 thats what I am afraid of myself. The 1 year breakup anniversary is coming up next month for me and I'm worried about how I am going to handle it. Well, I handled it somewhat well, considering how my ex dumped me three days after my birthday, and how I recently got dumped by my most recent ex the day after my birthday. Nice, huh? S'okay, all I can say is... NEXT! Hope next year will be better, I'll avoid my birthday like the plague And KM..... don't worry, the very least we all can agree on is that your ex is an azz. All exes are! That's my awesomeness speaking
magichands Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 , the very least we all can agree on is that your ex is an azz. But oh-so tight and spankable.
Author KittenMoon Posted February 12, 2007 Author Posted February 12, 2007 I totally feel like kicking someone in the balls..... oh, magichands.... c'mere.....
magichands Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 I've been dreaming of a moment like this. I hope they stay blue forever.
Author KittenMoon Posted February 12, 2007 Author Posted February 12, 2007 I hope they stay blue forever. Eventually they will fall off. It's all good.
laRubiaBonita Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 KM..... i just saw something written and i thought of you.... it said "I miss my Ex, but my aim is getting better" i thought it was very cute and says alot! kisses!
magichands Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 i thought it was very cute and says alot! It says you're still obsessing over them! Just remember, alot is not a word. I sincerely hope my balls do not fall off, but I have my trunk to fall back on.
silentcharon Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Just remember, alot is not a word. I sincerely hope my balls do not fall off, but I have my trunk to fall back on. can I use your trunk? :lmao:
CaliGuy Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 Well, I handled it somewhat well, considering how my ex dumped me three days after my birthday, and how I recently got dumped by my most recent ex the day after my birthday. Nice, huh? S'okay, all I can say is... NEXT! Hope next year will be better, I'll avoid my birthday like the plague And KM..... don't worry, the very least we all can agree on is that your ex is an azz. All exes are! That's my awesomeness speaking So the trick is, SC, to not have anymore birthdays
silentcharon Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 So the trick is, SC, to not have anymore birthdays Does that mean I'll be immortal?
magichands Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 Does that mean I'll be immortal? You'll die... eventually. But you will have an endless string of toyboys.
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