AtAGlance Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Dear All Please read my story and hear what I have to say. I have a close friend who was dumped 15 months ago by the "love of her life". She was devastated and at the beginning appeared almost like a car crash victim - I've never seen anyone take a break up so badly. Despite her best intentions and against all my advice she answered his texts and emails everytime he contacted her. This would last a few days, maybe a week or so then he would disappear. This went on every couple of months. It came to a head last November when they had been apart for a year. I thought she was over him, but he called her, then came round to see her then they ended up in bed, next she went round to see him, and they ended up in bed and so it went on - as far as she was concerned it was all back on and she had her man back. After 6 weeks he does his disappearing act again - refusing to answer texts or emails and so on. She made every excuse for him she could, but last week she got a text from him saying he had a new girlfriend. Just like he would tell his Mum - "oh by the way I met someone........" she was DEVASTATED, being dumped is bad enough, being dumped by text is worse and being dumped by the same guy twice.... Please all of you out there don't go down this route - make No Contact really no contact: no email, no texts, no phone calls, no visits. I know it hurts so much (I've been there too) but if you saw my friend you would see this is the best advice. To all of you in a painful place - take care Ata
Motor35 Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Hi Ata! You sound like a great friend. I have a great girlfriend that has stuck by me through a rough break-up just like the one you described here. Your faithfulness means so much when a friend is in need. I think I understand your frustration here with your friend. I have (and am doing) the EXACT same thing. I keep going back. I can't keep up my no contact and I can't stop seeing him. I can't stop and I feel like I have NO control over my actions. I know it is bad I go back - over and over - but I do. Sounds like your friend and this guy are addicted to each other. Perhaps your friend is a love addict? Would you feel comfortable suggesting therapy?
Author AtAGlance Posted February 12, 2007 Author Posted February 12, 2007 Hi Motor35 Thanks for your praise !! Re therapy, mmm not sure about that. Not that I have any problems with therapy, but not sure how she would take the suggestion at the moment. Re addiction: Yes she is addicted to him no question, but if I suggested that he was addicted to her it would give her hope that if/when his relationship failed he would get back with her. I think that would be the worst thing. She needs to get over him and get on with a new life with a new man. I think I'll stick with enforcing the NC at the moment and see how she is in a few weeks time. Hope you're having a good day Ata
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