MySugaree Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 I figured it was a work situation. Is the MM your supervisor? He sounds like it. Think through the implications--at work-- of disclosing all. Would the MM retaliate against you either directly or through a proxy? Would co-workers blame you for the MM's marital woes were you to disclose his cheating to his wife, who also is a co-employee? You could be viewed as attempting to sabotage his marriage to get him all for yourself. You're the younger OW whom every middle-aged wife dreads. You all work on top of one another. Disclosure would have not only personal repercussions, but professional ones, too. Tread carefully.
Curmudgeon Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 ... or should I let sleeping dogs lie..? I think they already have!
MISTRESS WITH REGRET Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 I Wish I Could Just Get A Another Job Elsewhere, But I Am Locked Into A Contract Which Won't End Ti The Fall Of '08 Or I Can Pay Back The >5,000 Dollars I Would Owe The Hospital (they Paid For The Course)
Curmudgeon Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 This guy sounds like a miserable user on a number of levels.
MISTRESS WITH REGRET Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 And No I Don't Want Him To Leave His Wife For Me It Was Never About That... It Was Just Sex... I Mean Yes There Were Times When I Got Caught Up In It, But After I Got To Know His Wife, I've Felt Nothing But Guilt Since.
Curmudgeon Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Then that gives you better than a year to get your life back in order by leaving this dog in the dust. You may have to work with him but you don't have to sleep with him in order to do so. I doubt that's part of your contract!
Curmudgeon Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 It Was Just Sex... That's precisely what he's going to tell his wife when he gets caught. "It was just sex. She didn't mean a thing. I thought of you the whole time we were doing it. She seduced me. She threatened to tell you if I didn't give it to her." Isn't it amazing that "just sex" seems so innocuous, almost innocent, as if it's not really important, but try telling that to a BS!
MISTRESS WITH REGRET Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Doubt She Would Believe Him, Apparently He Was Caught Cheating Before And She Told Him If It Ever Happened Again She'd Never Take Him Back.
frannie Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 I think they already have! Oh ha ha ho ho he he. On the other hand, oh wise one. Perhaps you could offer advise as to this question: At what stage is it OK for an OW to tell the spouse: 1) When he makes continuous moves on her. (subsections, yes, he's a friend of mine, or she is, or no one is he's just some louse from the office). 2) We've been seeing each other a while now... but he's making no real commitment... should I tell his wife it's me he really loves..? Or am I deluded..? 3) We've been seeing each other a year, he loves me but won't leave because of the children. Oh and he has three other OW but I know he loves me really because he told me. Oh and also I may have an infection of sorts... ummm... 4) He says it's over and he never wants to see me again... I'm heartbroken and really think his wife should know... hmm... what do you think guys..?? Same BS, same man... different advice... or am I just guessing
Curmudgeon Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 Oh ha ha ho ho he he. On the other hand, oh wise one. Perhaps you could offer advise as to this question: At what stage is it OK for an OW to tell the spouse: 1) When he makes continuous moves on her. (subsections, yes, he's a friend of mine, or she is, or no one is he's just some louse from the office). 2) We've been seeing each other a while now... but he's making no real commitment... should I tell his wife it's me he really loves..? Or am I deluded..? 3) We've been seeing each other a year, he loves me but won't leave because of the children. Oh and he has three other OW but I know he loves me really because he told me. Oh and also I may have an infection of sorts... ummm... 4) He says it's over and he never wants to see me again... I'm heartbroken and really think his wife should know... hmm... what do you think guys..?? Same BS, same man... different advice... or am I just guessing 1) If he makes continuous moves that are not welcome and won't cease and desist then it might be necessary to use telling the BW as a threat then following through if he continues. Of course, all bets are off if you've already slept with him. 2) Deluded. He already has a commitment, of sorts, and isn't likely to enter into another. Besides, he seems incapable of commitment anyway so the question is moot. 3) He's just being a typical MM. If you have it then wife likely has it too since his story that they haven't had sex for the past six years is just so much BS, and I don't mean betrayed spouse. 4) Oh, sure. Let's make sure her heart is broken also since she was so cruel as to have married him before you had a chance to do so. Yeah, right! She's already hurt enough. She's married to a slug even if she doesn't know it yet. 5) Oops! There was no 5. What makes you think, in any of those scenarios, that the wife doesn't already know?
Karma24 Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 In an affair with married man who I have recently found out has at least one other mistress. The other mistress is also married... I have decided to end the affair, but wonder whether I should tell the unsuspecting wife and husband about what is going on. It's funny how your affair was all good until you realized he was getting it on with yet another woman. Then you decide to have your attack of conscience. Nice.
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