Kelso Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 Hi everyone, hope you've had a good weekend... The thing is, that I've been seeing this girl for about 3-4 weeks now. It all started when I met her at a bar and we had a nice chat for a little while, but I had to leave soon because I had to catch an early flight. When I was away, we text messaged a lot and eventually when I got back home, I asked her out on a date. The date went well, although she wasn't taking it to seriously, well or she was just really balanced and relaxed. Just came there in her work clothes and was doing something on her laptop when I arrived at the café. Anyway, after about a three hours of chitchat we were getting kind of bored, but we didn't wanna end the date ... so we went for an icecream and then she suggested that we should rent a movie and go to her place. We were getting along really well and everything was so relaxed. I ended up spending the night at her place, although nothing happened. Just some kisses and cuddling. Since then we've been chatting a bit on MSN. Been on 3-4 dates and I've spent the night at her place once since then and she has spent the night at my place twice. Obviously she has some interest in me, but sometimes she seems really distant. For example, a week ago ... I went out with my friend for a beer and I sent her a text asking what she was up to tonight. I didn't receive any answer. Later in the evening, my friend also sent her a text, just a joke. (He knows her a lot better than me, I sort of got to know her through him). She answered his text and ended it with a text saying "Can you tell Kelso that we're going to ABC Bar tonight". We went there later and met her and her friends and we ended up kissing and she spent the night at my place, again just cuddling and kissing. Last night I sent her a text, she was working so I couldn't talk to her. I admit - I was a little bit drunk. But I don't regret what I said, because it is completely true. I simply said that she looked really good tonight and that I loved her smile. I didn't receive any answer. Again tonight, I sent her a text asking how she was doing. I got a nice reply; telling me that she was at her friends having dinner and asked me how last night went. I told her and then asked her what the plans for tonight are. Now three hours later, I still haven't received an answer from her. It's kind of weird, as she shows some interest in me, by spending nights, going out on dates, renting movies together and stuff like that. But in the meantime she doesn't answer to my texts or MSN messages and stuff like that. I'm receiving really mixed signals and I simply don't know what they mean. Is there anyone, who might give me any advices on how to behave myself, as I haven't been in the dating scene for a little while and I'm still warming up. Female perspectives would especially be appreciated. Have a nice evening, Kelso
the_total_package Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 that well, because if she were she wouldn't have spent the night with you so soon (even though you didn't do anything.) You want to ask her out several days in advance, too. If she's a rules girl, she really wants you, she is confident and busy and hard to pin down because she has a busy life with lots of friends. However if she was really a rules girl, the overnight thing wouldn't have happened, but maybe she needs to brush up on them. This girl really a. wants to be pursued and respected by you or b. is not really that into you. Also....do NOT text and msn her and think that is communicating with her. CALL HER if you are interested. Texting and messaging are nothing and not communication. A guy who is interested calls. That could actually be the whole problem, come to think of it. Be a MAN and call her. Texting is for wussies.
Author Kelso Posted February 12, 2007 Author Posted February 12, 2007 I guess that's right my good man. We were talking A LOT on MSN and also doing some heavy text messaging. And I decided that this was not the right way to go about 2 weeks ago. And I told her so. That it would be a better idea to just meet and talk instead of chatting online in the evenings. And she agreed. So that's when all the video watching started I guess I must also add: a) She's not really experienced I think. I don't know for sure, but I can tell you guys that she isn't hell of a kisser ... but she's getting better. b) She sends me photos of her self occasionally to my cell phone. It's always nice Any more perspectives...especially female perspectives...??
Star Gazer Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Stop texting and IM'ing and CALL HER. There is no substitute for hearing each other's voices.
the_total_package Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 I already posted that, Star Gazer, but thanks. Kelso, I AM a female so you are getting a female perspective here. Stop texting and IM'ing and CALL HER. There is no substitute for hearing each other's voices.
Author Kelso Posted February 12, 2007 Author Posted February 12, 2007 Thanks for your help Ms. Package It just took the chance as I couldn't read anything from your nick or your post Thanks again...
Author Kelso Posted February 14, 2007 Author Posted February 14, 2007 This is so weird ... I met her last night. It was kind of accidentally, but like I told you, I met her through this friend of mine. He was picking me up and we went out for a beer last night. He called her and her friends just minutes before he came and picked me up and told them to meet us at the bar. Well, they did ... and when they arrived they couldn't find us so she called. And she called me not him, although he was the one who invited them. And during the evenings she laughed at all my jokes and even the ones who weren't all that funny. I'm just really unused to the dating scene right now ... so I don't know how to behave. But I'm getting warmer.
Krytellan Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Is there anyone, who might give me any advices on how to behave myself, as I haven't been in the dating scene for a little while and I'm still warming up. Female perspectives would especially be appreciated. PUT THE CELL PHONE DOWN AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TABLE!!! Do I have your attention? Man, chill with the texts. Text with purpose, not because of boredom. For example, the thing about texting her then your friend did and she answered him... she was probably on the phone or making plans when you texted. Chiiiill dude. I swear instant messaging will be the downfall... err, the second downfall of Western Civilization. There was nothing there that even remotely smelled playerish. She never sent mixed messages. Remember, you are basing your doubts and questions on the behaviors that didn't happen. That's a dangerous thing to do. I think everyone here has someone that could "not do" something to piss them off. Don't make up things that aren't there. Did I mention put the evil instant evil messaging demonic device away? KK
Krytellan Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Well, they did ... and when they arrived they couldn't find us so she called. And she called me not him, although he was the one who invited them. And during the evenings she laughed at all my jokes and even the ones who weren't all that funny. *smack* There, see? Done being an insecure weasel now?????
Star Gazer Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 I already posted that, Star Gazer, but thanks. Sorry. Last time I checked, agreeing with someone else was allowed. But since your opinion came first, I bow to you. Pfft.
Krytellan Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Sorry. Last time I checked, agreeing with someone else was allowed. But since your opinion came first, I bow to you. Pfft. Meeeooooow Let's play nice ladies.
Topper Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Kelso, I was going to say something like grow some balls. But that would be rude. So I'm not going to say something like grow so Balls. Because I'm not a rude guy. Any woman who laughs at my jokes is one insane ,Two really drunk, three my future ex wife. Most likely all three. I would also say call but then that advice seems to have been taken and maybe hasa copy write so I can't use it. That is whyt I said.......... never mind
Author Kelso Posted February 14, 2007 Author Posted February 14, 2007 I hate you guys I guess everything you said is something that I did know inside. And only to let you guys know, I have cut back the text sending of course. Did that few days ago. Thanks again for your help
Pretty Fly Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 I had a very similar experience, but the sleepovers weren't just kissing and cuddling. Turned out she'd been seeing her ex too and then got back with him. So it's easy to understand having that slight insecure feeling.
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