bellababygirl Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 My MM just got back from the East Coast. He called to check on how I was feeling, etc. He knows I am very nervous about the amnio...and he said he doesnt want me to have it. He said he is worried something will happen to me or the baby and besides, regardless of what the amnio says we are keeping our son. So, why have it? He said to go ahead with extensive ultrasounds that dont pose risks to causing premature labor and as long as it is not absolutely necessary to have such an evasive procedure, the amnio, then we need to avoid it. He said his other children never had to have an amnio...and he really just doesnt see what good can come from it. If it shows something wrong we are keeping our son so what difference does it make. So, now I am really confused...I am having an ultrasound before the amnio...so I told him maybe I will just see if the ultrasound shows any thing unusal and if not then forego the amnio...???? He really surprised me...it came out of nowhere...this amnio opinion of his...I dont know what to think now...???why all of the sudden is he so concerned about it??? Should I not have it??? Should I have it??? I have never had an amnio so I just dont know... Help...It is scheduled for Tuesday morning.....
Jinxx Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 How do YOU feel about it? I never had an amnio either for both of my kids but then again I was in my late twenty's when both of them were conceived. It is a personal decision and I think you need to do what is best for you. What does your doctor say? I have known tons of friends who have had amnios and every one of them had a positive outcome. And, these are women that were in their late thirties/early forties.
sb129 Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 Is there any specific reason you are meant to have an amnio? They do carry risks, and usually are only performed if the baby has a higher than normal risk of birth defects. (ie mother over 40 etc) Even ultrasound isn't 100% safe. I wouldn't have an amnio unless it was specifically recommended by an O&G consultant, and the reasons were clearly specified.
Author bellababygirl Posted February 11, 2007 Author Posted February 11, 2007 Is there any specific reason you are meant to have an amnio? They do carry risks, and usually are only performed if the baby has a higher than normal risk of birth defects. (ie mother over 40 etc) Even ultrasound isn't 100% safe. I wouldn't have an amnio unless it was specifically recommended by an O&G consultant, and the reasons were clearly specified. My OBGYN said it would test for risks due to elevated paternal age (my MM is 61) and because my youngest son was born with a neurotube defect. But, I have taken 4mcg folic acid every day and perscription prenatal vit. everyday since my son with the disability was born (he is 6 now) just as a precaution. My OBGYN said with the folic acid being taken all these years there is not a likely change this child is effected by a neurotube defect. Also, the ultrasounds (I think it is called the nucal ultrasound) was good and showed no down syndrome and the ultrasounds I have have showed no signs of any defects. So, I just dont know...but the idea of that huge needle coming at me scares me to death. My MM is right, if the test were to show something unhealthy we would still have our son...regardless...so, I dont know...he had never made mention of the amnio before this, actually, this is the most he has said about the entire pregnancy as far as taking a stand on what he wants done??? Why his sudden concern???
Author bellababygirl Posted February 11, 2007 Author Posted February 11, 2007 How do YOU feel about it? I never had an amnio either for both of my kids but then again I was in my late twenty's when both of them were conceived. It is a personal decision and I think you need to do what is best for you. What does your doctor say? I have known tons of friends who have had amnios and every one of them had a positive outcome. And, these are women that were in their late thirties/early forties. I am scared to death!!!
YoMomma Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 The decision to amnio or not isn't an easy one, I had one with my second child - I was only 26! I can imagine the procedure is much safer now than it was waaaaaay back then - but it's a personal choice. Although I was also in the mind set that I would never terminate my pregnancy if there was anything wrong - as my doctor said - if there is something wrong at least they would be prepared for it during the birth - no surprises so to speak. So I agreed - and thankfully everything turn out fine.
Jinxx Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 I am scared to death!!! I don't blame you one bit for being scared on this. I would be too. Now, on the other hand, if I were in my late 30's or 40's having my first child, I would do it. Why??? Because *if* I were to learn I from the results of an amino that i was indeed carrying a child with life-long disabilities, I would have no problem aborting the pregnancy. Of course, others might beg to differ with my opinion but it is a personal choice, a very personal choice and everyone is entitled to their own option. Do your research Bella. Ask questions.... Ask lots of questions -- to your friends, your doctor, read books. Of course it is scary. This is not an easy decision to be made. I wish you all the luck on your decision.
whichwayisup Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 I don't think the MM has any right to tell you NOT to get the test done. I have to ask, but do you know his family health history? Any diseases, conditions, etc that you know of?
Curmudgeon Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 ...but the idea of that huge needle coming at me scares me to death. My MM is right, if the test were to show something unhealthy we would still have our son...regardless...so, I dont know...he had never made mention of the amnio before this, actually, this is the most he has said about the entire pregnancy as far as taking a stand on what he wants done??? Why his sudden concern??? If it woudn't make any difference in your ultimate decision then why take the risk? My wife delivered hundreds of babies as a midwife without invasive procedures and without problems. She only had to transport to a hospital once for fetal distress. Why his sudden concern? Maybe the reality has finally set in that the old fart's going to be a father again. Other than that, ask him!
norajane Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Amnio fluid is used for paternity testing if you don't want to wait until the baby is born. Perhaps he's afraid you're getting a paternity test done in preparation for a court case, though I can't imagine why that would matter since you can do it after the baby is born, if that is your intention.
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Do what you think is best for you and the baby.
Author bellababygirl Posted February 12, 2007 Author Posted February 12, 2007 Do what you think is best for you and the baby. I dont know what i am going to do??? Maybe just wait until after the ultrasound...if it is good then maybe I will forego the amnio???? Ugh! I hate to make decisions...
littleflowerpot Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Amnio fluid is used for paternity testing if you don't want to wait until the baby is born. Perhaps he's afraid you're getting a paternity test done in preparation for a court case, though I can't imagine why that would matter since you can do it after the baby is born, if that is your intention. i thought amnio was to test for possible birth defects when a mother is a bit older and chances are greater for problems.
norajane Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 i thought amnio was to test for possible birth defects when a mother is a bit older and chances are greater for problems. Yes, that's what it is intended for. However, it's also the earliest possible DNA test for paternity.
cbl Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 My MM just got back from the East Coast. He called to check on how I was feeling, etc. He knows I am very nervous about the amnio...and he said he doesnt want me to have it. He said he is worried something will happen to me or the baby and besides, regardless of what the amnio says we are keeping our son. So, why have it? He said to go ahead with extensive ultrasounds that dont pose risks to causing premature labor and as long as it is not absolutely necessary to have such an evasive procedure, the amnio, then we need to avoid it. He said his other children never had to have an amnio...and he really just doesnt see what good can come from it. If it shows something wrong we are keeping our son so what difference does it make. So, now I am really confused...I am having an ultrasound before the amnio...so I told him maybe I will just see if the ultrasound shows any thing unusal and if not then forego the amnio...???? He really surprised me...it came out of nowhere...this amnio opinion of his...I dont know what to think now...???why all of the sudden is he so concerned about it??? Should I not have it??? Should I have it??? I have never had an amnio so I just dont know... Help...It is scheduled for Tuesday morning..... i really don't think it's necessary to over-analyze the situation or every word that the MM has to say. people change their positions all the time or they simply never think about the real issue when it is first presented to them.... until the date approaches. my suggestion is to do what's best for you and your baby, according to professional opinions (your doctor). seek second opinion if necessary.
Seen_It_All Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Good, if he just returned to your area from the East Coast, then he can go WITH you to your appt. and explain to the doctor why he feels he knows more than the medical professionals monitoring your pregnancy.
herenow Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Of course she's not having an amnio. What doctor would do an amnio on someone who isn't pregnant? This girl is a sham. Many other posters have pointed out inconsistencies in her story. If you are here to help someone, please use your valuable time helping someone who has been truthful and really needs your help. Done and more done!
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