allisonb Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. 6 months after we began our relationship, he moved to another state for his job. He has been there for over a year now and it's been very challenging. We have our issues as most couples do...especially couples in our situtation, but the issue that is crushing me is the fact that his desire to have sex with me has steadily declined over the past few months. From the beginning, I would say he was shy and inhibited in the bedroom, but dispite that, it was clear that he was sexually attracted to me. I stay in great shape and am a pretty girl. But I don't feel as pretty anymore because of this. I've tried to talk to him about our sexual issue, but it is difficult because the topic of sex seems to be one that makes him nervous and so I don't want to press the issue and make him feel uncomfortable. All he has managed to tell me is that he is not really sure why this is happening, he is not dating anyone else and that he finds me attractive. He tells me he thinks it's because we only see each other every couple of months and it takes him a while before he's comfortable enough to be physical. During our last discussion, he also said that this was the "first mature relationship he's been in". I am not sure how that plays a role, but he said it so you tell me. HELP. Does anyone relate to my situation?? I love him and feel like it's worth the wait and the work, but am I just being foolish? I think he has some major issues with sex. Either he's gay, cheating or it's something deeper. I can't figure it out.
Lauriebell82 Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 actually i think the absense of u being there would make him want to be with u even more. sex does decrease as the relationship progresses, but this is weird to me. my bf and i are in a LDR (we see each other almost every weekend though), but when i see on friday after 5 days of being apart he can hardly control himself. he practically pounces on me. granted we dont have sex as often as we used to throughout the weekend, but i guess thats normal. anyway i guess what i'm getting at is that his reason is bs. he should be more excited to see u and have sex with u after not seeing with u for a couple months!!! in the beginning of ur relationship did he like to have sex a lot? also do u always initiate sex? does he/has he initiated it? ur right there is def. something going on. talking to him isnt working i guess, since he's feeding u crap. it has to be some underlying issue behind why this is happening. maybe he is having doubts about the relationship because of the distance and it is stressing him out. that could be why he is less interested in sex. the other two things u mentioned: do u really think he could be gay or cheating on u? is there any evidence of either? all i can suggest is maybe get some counseling for this issue. or ask him to tell u honestly how he is feeling about ur relationship (whether or not he is happy and stuff). there is def. something going on.
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