Thunder973 Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 Ladies & Gentleman, I seek the advice of the wise and experienced of this message board. Ill try to keep the length of this post to a minimum. I met this girl in September off the internet. We chatted for two or three days. Our first offline encounter was for sex at a motel. Sex only. I thought I would never speak to her ever again after that due to the situation reaking of a one night stand. Prior to that we didn't get to know eachother much and just jumped into the sack. Well it turns out that we started to talk more and more after that first encounter and took a liking to her. She was smart, intelligent, had a good job and in my mind she was relationship material until......We had the proverbial "this is my past" discussion. Well what I heard and what she told me totally blew me out of the water and knocked my socks off. Im no angel however I have a very big problem with what she told me. She was with a guy for nine years and was briefly engaged to him. Obviously it did not work out and they are not engaged anymore. While she was engaged to him, she cheated on him multiple times and had (2) threesomes. One male male female and one female female male. Needless to say that turned me off by what she told me and I was sick to my stomach. At that point I decided that i could not get over that fact and decided to explain to her my feelings that I don't think I should lead her on because this was an obstacle i could not get over. We dated for roughly four months and she fell madly in love with me. We would text message eachother ever day and talk on the phone. Then recently we broke all contact together because she said she couldn't be just friends with me because she had too many feelings for me. I really liked her however deep in my sould i had a problem morally with what she did while engaged. Im no angel i have had many sexual partners but never cheated on anyone in my life. Did I make the right decision ? I miss talking to her and such but the trust issue will always be there. Her reasons for cheating and having the threesomes were immature. She said that her Ex made her feel unwanted and that she wanted to prove to herself that other people would be attracted to her. I don't think I could of continued in a relationship with someone who had that in their past. Am I wrong ?
paris38 Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 plus, although it's a double standard, she had no problem meeting up with you having sex with you on a first encounter, so I don't think she'd have much trouble doing the same thing if she met an attractive guy who came on to her, even if she was in a relationship with you. I can't believe she told you all that about her past. I never discuss how many partners and sexual experiences I've had to a guy I'm seeing. It's my past and he doesn't need to know that, all he needs to know is that I have been tested for STDs and am safe, but he doesn't need to know details beyond that.
glitzy55 Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 She met a random stranger and had sex with u. I'm not surprised about her past it sounds like it would be part of the territory. I am surprised though that she was stupid enough to reveal all this to you.
Star Gazer Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 plus, although it's a double standard, she had no problem meeting up with you having sex with you on a first encounter, so I don't think she'd have much trouble doing the same thing if she met an attractive guy who came on to her, even if she was in a relationship with you. I can't believe she told you all that about her past. I never discuss how many partners and sexual experiences I've had to a guy I'm seeing. It's my past and he doesn't need to know that, all he needs to know is that I have been tested for STDs and am safe, but he doesn't need to know details beyond that. This is another contradiction. "Right decision" - why, because he found out?
Pretty Fly Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 I think even if you'd decided to accept her past and believe you could trust her from now on, I think there'd be a tiny part of you that would still think about it and that monster would end up rearing it's head at some point, perhaps by being suspicious if she's out late and doesn't call or something like that. If I was you, I'd chalk it up to experience and move on.
paris38 Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 it's the right decision, she sounds like she has issues. Plus, why did she feel the need to tell him all that stuff if she truly had changed and all that was really in the past? To me, she was telling him that to make sure he knew how she really was, and still had the capability of being. This is another contradiction. "Right decision" - why, because he found out?
Krytellan Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 You talked for 3 days on the internet then fu**ed... what did you expect her past to be... June Cleaver?
paris38 Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 That made me laugh. You talked for 3 days on the internet then fu**ed... what did you expect her past to be... June Cleaver?
Author Thunder973 Posted February 11, 2007 Author Posted February 11, 2007 You talked for 3 days on the internet then fu**ed... what did you expect her past to be... June Cleaver? Nope not June Cleaver I had no real expectations at all. I did not surmise I was going to be in contact with her after the first night. I take full responsibility as to being the other half of the one night stand. I was just taken back as to how nice of a girl she was. That made it all the harder to sever ties with her. Thanks for the sarcasm though. <eyeroll>
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