alextop30 Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 I know this might be wierd and stupid post but I just wanna see what some of the guys might say on this one. Guys dont u think it would be better if girls were the ones approaching us guys after all they are the ones that approve weather we are worth the wile. I have had this situation where a girl approaches me only once and it was wierd but it was nice for once I actually knew she was interested. Instead of us guys constantly asking is she interested or not I believe it would be nice if girls approached us so we know for shure.... What do you think?
Pretty Fly Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 Being a guy, I agree it's a drag sometimes always having to be the one who has to take the risk at first and risk the rejection. I read somewhere once though - don't know if it's true - that a guy approaching a woman satisfies some instinctual thing in the woman. Sorry can't recall much more detail than that on it. I always get the impression that sometimes a girl goes out and sees a guy they like and they think they're throwing out all these signals to him that means come over and talk to me, and us men being the neandethals we are, don't recognise any of these subtle cues, they completely go over our head.
Nomad Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 "I always get the impression that sometimes a girl goes out and sees a guy they like and they think they're throwing out all these signals to him that means come over and talk to me, and us men being the neandethals we are, don't recognise any of these subtle cues, they completely go over our head." Or, more likely, most guys think a girl is sending them signals when in fact she hasn't even noticed his existence, and will try to talk to her, expecting a warm reception.
Author alextop30 Posted February 10, 2007 Author Posted February 10, 2007 exactly what I am saying I try to read body language but it is just hard to keep the reason from your desire and I end up sometimes embaresing myself because I think I am reading it right. Embaresment is in the form of hitting on women who are taken- and usually get to be suppriced by their boy friend
Pretty Fly Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 Or, more likely, most guys think a girl is sending them signals when in fact she hasn't even noticed his existence, and will try to talk to her, expecting a warm reception. Yeah true, and then you may hear a girl complain that she's fed up of guys trying to chat to her in bars and so I get the impression that girls don't want guys to chat to them in bars. And then I hear of other girls complaining that no guys ever come chat to them (I saw in another thread a girl calling guys "p*ssies" because they never come chat to her) and at this point my head spins round and explodes. Or is it just me with this problem?!?!?
Author alextop30 Posted February 10, 2007 Author Posted February 10, 2007 You see I am same way that is why I asked this dumb question in the thread I constantly make my head spin I am in a bar --- love to dance and dancing with one of my friends and there is this girl that comes up to me and ask to dance and we go for like 3 songs so I meet her and everything and after that I ask her to dance she is like she never met me. What is going I am asking she was smiling durring the time we were dancing and no complaints or her trying to take charge in the dance. So I constantly get myself into the cituations. I posted a cimular thread with the words I wish girls could say what they want.
Nomad Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 Yeah true, and then you may hear a girl complain that she's fed up of guys trying to chat to her in bars and so I get the impression that girls don't want guys to chat to them in bars. And then I hear of other girls complaining that no guys ever come chat to them Most likely they feel that the wrong (i.e. ugly, dorky, etc) guys are talking to them. They're really complaining that no guys they'd be interested in are talking to them.
Author alextop30 Posted February 10, 2007 Author Posted February 10, 2007 I dont know how should I freken say that I am interested in the most obvious way "Hey I could help but notice you . My name is Alex. ...... and so on"
pricillia Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 Well it depends on the situation, some guys like to be the initiator, you know that chase thing and all. But as a guy do they really like an agressive woman?
Author alextop30 Posted February 10, 2007 Author Posted February 10, 2007 I love aggressive women they make my skin crawl -- I also love women who are full of themselves and know that they are beautiful so it is just plain good to challenge her so what ever she wats to come get it and you know what if the girl likes to dance I would really be wanting her coz I just cannot keep my hands off girls that think that are hot agressive and get what they want. Trust me I love that kind of women so if u are one give me a call LOL
Topper Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 Most guys would love a woman who made the first move. In surveys something like 80% of men say that wished woman would make the first move. How is it that after millions of years men and woman still are so clueless about each other? Woman accuse men of being dumb, yet after all this time wouldn't you think most of them would learn we don't read minds? I have been blasted more then once for pointing that out here. Oh well I guess I still can't help tilting at Windmills. That first move does not only apply to the first meeting or asking out on a date. What about that first move to the bedroom? Make that move to soon and you are another male pervert pig only looking for one thing. To late and your a wimp and most be a closet gay. So no Alex you are not weird at all......... Your Gay (kidding)
Author alextop30 Posted February 10, 2007 Author Posted February 10, 2007 Well being gay is liking man and aparently I hang around women too much and I am concerned in questions about getting a date and a girl friend which is not typical for a gay this makes me to inferr that I am not gay but about what we know about women is yah I am like out of my mind I wish I can find a friend that is a girl that would tell me what girls really want so I can give it to them you know I constantly stay at home friday satirday night and really wish I had a girlfriend that I could take out to the movies dinner or just plain have her come to my house whatch some stupid movie --- be with her I dont really care about the sex at all it is just someone very close that you can tell them everything and how much they really mean to you. Most guys as I know care about sex a lot but I dont.
Pyro Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 I think that in some situations it would be easier for the girl to approach the guy, but unfortunately if women did that, some of them would assume that the guy is not too confident, since she had to be the one to approach him and lacking confidence is a big turn-off to most.
Author alextop30 Posted February 10, 2007 Author Posted February 10, 2007 maybe if he is not lacking confindence but is not sure about her signals and that might be the issue. I have absolutely no problem getting up and going up to a girl and telling her that I am interested but the problem I get pushed a way like every time. I dont know what is with the signs I see. When a girl is looking at me more often than usual- smiles at the stupid things I do, in class arguments or arguments she agrees with me almost always - asks me questions and smiles when she does. Seems intereseted when I am talking and sharing my opinon and still get turned down. Man that is tough
Pyro Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 maybe if he is not lacking confindence but is not sure about her signals and that might be the issue. I have absolutely no problem getting up and going up to a girl and telling her that I am interested but the problem I get pushed a way like every time. I dont know what is with the signs I see. When a girl is looking at me more often than usual- smiles at the stupid things I do, in class arguments or arguments she agrees with me almost always - asks me questions and smiles when she does. Seems intereseted when I am talking and sharing my opinon and still get turned down. Man that is tough That is what makes the dating world tough: it can be pretty unpredictable. You just have to keep going at it and eventually some girl will bite your bait.
Guest Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 I think most people (not just women) don't realize dating isn't the same as it was 20 years ago, and they're still trying to play by the old rules of the game. Guess what, it doesn't work! Wake up! Open your eyes!!! If more women realized this, they wouldn't waste so much time complaining that all the good men are married... they'd learn there isn't any law against a woman making the first move, unless you live in one of those macho third world countries.
Author alextop30 Posted February 11, 2007 Author Posted February 11, 2007 I completely agree with your statement guest -- to my opinion if a girl likes this guy across the room and she is trying to give him these signs but he just dont respond she should walk up to him and strike the conversation, if the guy is dumb enough not to realize what is going on well tough luck but if she finds out that he is interested = Go for it that is how I believe it should be. My opinion is like that because as I stated in previous posts I cant really read the darn signals that women tend to give out and do encounter lots of rejection.
paris38 Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 If I am out in public and interested, I will give a guy eye contact and a smile to make it clear I wouldn't mind being approached by him and find him attractive. To me, that is the same as making the first move. I think a lot of women do this?
Guest Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 I can't read the signals either, which has led to some pretty frustrating experiences. At one job where I worked, this one woman (who was young enough to be my daughter, and was NOT hot) tried to flirt with me, and I damn near reported her to the manager for sexual harassment. So, that's why I think the only way for guys like me to find Miss Right is to advertise, then interview them. Sounds crazy, but not much crazier than some of the other ideas I've heard.
Topper Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 Paris, that is all well and good Some woman are very good at this and the message is clear. But some guys are shy. The message might be clear in your mind but they are thinking is some guy standing behind me ? Is she really looking at me? They need more. However many woman who do this also tend to get shy ,suddenly look away or give some other mixed signal. It can be cofussing. Is she or isn't she?
the_total_package Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 I agree with Paris, I don't want a guy anyway who is so wimpy he can't at least come over and say 'hi' after I am making eye contact. A confident man, which is who I would want to date anyway, is not going to have a problem approaching me if 1. I am not there with a guy and 2. he finds me attractive. What's the worst that can happen? I tellhim i have a boyfriend or thanks, that is sweet, but no thanks. Big deal, if he can't handle a chance of rejection, he is a wimp and I don't want him anyway because he would end up being a nightmare in a relationship. Paris, that is all well and good Some woman are very good at this and the message is clear. But some guys are shy. The message might be clear in your mind but they are thinking is some guy standing behind me ? Is she really looking at me? They need more. However many woman who do this also tend to get shy ,suddenly look away or give some other mixed signal. It can be cofussing. Is she or isn't she?
Topper Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 Package all well and good, but you may just be passing up a really great guy. It all depends if you are looking ofr long term or just someone to date short term. The big mistake woman make is thinking men think like them. They want to think men understand woman code. They also think we can read minds. there are men who do understand woman code The best are getting more woman in bed and getting the woman to beg them for sex. The vast majority of men are trying to unravel the mystery of woman. Men know they don't think like woman but don't know how a woman mind works. Much can get lost in the translation. Think of this, The really shy guy isn't going to be a player. The player knows the shy guy is not a good play.
Star Gazer Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 If I am out in public and interested, I will give a guy eye contact and a smile to make it clear I wouldn't mind being approached by him and find him attractive. To me, that is the same as making the first move. I think a lot of women do this? I do this, but I don't consider it the first move. Not by a long shot. If that were considered the first move, I'd be puttin' the moves on everyone from the produce guy at my supermarket, to the Taco Bell drive-thru guy, to even the bartender at my local dive. I have a tendency to make eye contact with tons of people, and when I do I can't help but smile.
sb129 Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 I do this, but I don't consider it the first move. Not by a long shot. If that were considered the first move, I'd be puttin' the moves on everyone from the produce guy at my supermarket, to the Taco Bell drive-thru guy, to even the bartender at my local dive. I have a tendency to make eye contact with tons of people, and when I do I can't help but smile. Yeah me too. But I am a slapper. What century are we living in????? I am more than happy to make the first move and approach a guy if its appropriate. i am not shy. And I really cannot be arsed with all the game playing that can accompany the first few dates. If someone is scared off by me- they obviously aren't the right guy for me. (i am not scary or forward, just strong and not into dithering around)
luvtoto Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 However many woman who do this also tend to get shy, suddenly look away or give some other mixed signal. It can be confusing. Is she or isn't she? That's me to a friggin' 'T'! I am just too dang shy. I saw a guy in the store this weekend...everytime I would look his way, I would catch him looking at me. I would become so embarassed that I would look away.
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