he's getting married for legal reasons.. am i still allowed to stay

[lady_godiva]

i've been seeing this man on and off for a year.. although we have not been intimate yet i still have strong feelings for him. he moved from barbados when he was a child but never became a legal citizen ..and now with so much time passing he has only two options, get married or leave the country and not return for 10 yrs. so he decidinng to marry his live in gf with whom he's had an open relationship with for quite some time.theyve never made a real commitment out of fear that it would all fall apart anyway ( i spoke with the gf these are her words too)W and even tho i've told myself i didnt believe in these sort of relationships (your either with the person or your not) i found myself getting emotionally involved. this man reassures me that its not a real marriage that he's only doing this to get his life together. meanwhile i hear his girlfriend crying one nite.. saying that she doesnt want to be in a sham marriage and wants to make this work out for the best. even tho their relationship will still remain open after theyre married (also her words) should i step out while my heart is still intact? my fear is that i will get in too deep with this man to the point where i wouldnt know what to do if one or both of them decide to become committed. even though its not a marriage proposed out of love and still open for other ppl to come in.. should i step out out of respect for it?emotinally i have a hard time dealing with it as it is.. i am aware of the feelings they have for eachh other and i respect his girlfriend.. but at the time i also feel that i'm competing with her..not for attention.. but for love.. love that she obviously earned hands down. and unlike so ppl who play the "other" i dont want him to leave her... but i dont want him to leave me either.. i'm guess what i'm trying to get at is.. is it alright for me to stay involved given the circumstances of the marriage? or is it wrong to stay regardless?

[GreenEyedLady]

Why wouldn't he marry you instead? You don't know if you want to marry him? I'm curious why you want to stay with him period? I'd be upset he didn't want to marry me if I loved him...

[lady_godiva]

well we're not committed in any way... and we just started exploring the emotional aspect of our friendship. plus he's been with his girlfriend for 5 yrs.. he lives with her.. it made sense to me anyway... and i want to stay because .. i guess truthfully i didnt want things to end so soon when we were just discovering where we are.

[cbl]

chances are they'll just stay like that. is it acceptable for you to settle in this situation? if they won't get married (seems unlikely according to your post) what are you trying to achieve? i personally think it is OK if you remain a friend with him, "without" being too attached, like the emotional attachment that you have towards a guy who you date. are you able to withdraw your emotional attachment to him and just be a friend with him?