thecount Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Hi all, *This may loose some of the people that don't know my history, if you want check out my past posts. It'll all make sense then. LOL From the begining when my ex started seeing her Therapist. He's offerd way too much advice, and right away too. Correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't a therapist just listen first before giving blind advice? Like telling her, you need to move out, your father is too controling, so and so forth. How does he know that she's telling him the truth? she's a good liar, I know this. She's did it to me. LOL Anyway, she called to tell me this strange story about her therapist. She called him up to tell him that she wasn't feeling well and wasn't going in to see him. He said ok, "I'm not feeling too good myself, I have a FUNGUS in a very sensitive area". what therapist would tell his patient that? Why would anyone say that? So now she feels that going to him is all wrong. I told this to a friend of mine and he said that the therapist should be reported. or that she's just lying to you so that she doesn't have to go. Knowing the history of this relationship. I think she's full of it myself. She also wants me to believe that she's over the miscarriage thing, even though they never talked about it at all. and that's one of the reasons of our break up. after a whole year of obsessing about it, its over just like that? and she's all better now? after a year of giving me hell over it? what is she trying to do? or better yet, who is she trying to fool?
Canuck2006 Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 Hi all, *This may loose some of the people that don't know my history, if you want check out my past posts. It'll all make sense then. LOL From the begining when my ex started seeing her Therapist. He's offerd way too much advice, and right away too. Correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't a therapist just listen first before giving blind advice? Like telling her, you need to move out, your father is too controling, so and so forth. How does he know that she's telling him the truth? she's a good liar, I know this. She's did it to me. LOL Anyway, she called to tell me this strange story about her therapist. She called him up to tell him that she wasn't feeling well and wasn't going in to see him. He said ok, "I'm not feeling too good myself, I have a FUNGUS in a very sensitive area". what therapist would tell his patient that? Why would anyone say that? So now she feels that going to him is all wrong. I told this to a friend of mine and he said that the therapist should be reported. or that she's just lying to you so that she doesn't have to go. Knowing the history of this relationship. I think she's full of it myself. She also wants me to believe that she's over the miscarriage thing, even though they never talked about it at all. and that's one of the reasons of our break up. after a whole year of obsessing about it, its over just like that? and she's all better now? after a year of giving me hell over it? what is she trying to do? or better yet, who is she trying to fool? She sounds like a shlt therapist to say the least. I had the same problem. The first person I tried to talk to after I broke up (severe male depression was the killer for us) told me "ahh..just forget about her..she's going to stop loving you anyways and it'll make you more depressed". When she said that, I felt totally violated as far as my trust goes and had anxiety and sweats the whole day. I went to the hospital to speak to another therapist and she couldn't believe that she had said that and said it was completly unprofessional. My current therapist (who is a godsend) agrees.
Author thecount Posted February 11, 2007 Author Posted February 11, 2007 I just got off the phone with my ex, and let me tell you what a mess. Her parents are fighting because the father is too controlling, (and he is) The mother was yelling (which I heard) at the father saying you destroyed that girl, look at her, does she look happy? I'm talking about deep hatred screams. Very bad. The father was talking about leaving. She told me that when she was 3 years old that they all had to go to therapy. because the state wanted them to go. what the hell is going on there? The mother also said that the father ran the house hold like he was still in the milatary. I now understand more then ever that my ex needs therapy. She needs someone that will help her, not someone thats going to hit on her, or gross her out. it's sick, this whole thing is making me very sick. Why would she call me to let me hear something like that?
njrocket24 Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 I went to a psychaitrist (sp) to get medicated after a breakup and failing out of school. I was in a pretty bad place and i needed it. So i talk to her about the whole situation and she basically just starts yelling at me. "it happened get over it, she's not coming back, and so forth, just beating it into me." As much as it was insulting and it sucked, accepting that worked well in the short term, but long term depression issues require a psychologist/therapist. So i went to one and he was amazing. From my story he predicted that " my ex was psychologically damaged" "facts about her family history that i dind't tell him" "and that she would break the NC in about 3/4 months". Lo and behold she did, and she said exactly what the therapist said she would. Bottom line is that therapists are people too, and people make mistakes. Some people are also better at what they do than others. Good advice is to shop around like you would for anything else, talk to friends if they know a good one, and do your homework. It'll help you tremendously in the long run.
the_total_package Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 I don't necessarily want them to tell me bad things about my ex, I am just wanting them to help me get over them. Because your ex could just as easily go get therapy and his therapist is going to be supporting him and possibly saying negative things about you without even knowing you. Right now I am visiting a therapist because of a recent breakup. He started out really running down the ex, I believe to make me feel better about the breakup, but I made it clear that I was there not to hear negative things about the ex because all of my friends/family had already stressed that he wasn't right for me, I had already accepted that, I needed help getting over him and being able to move on. I also am looking for a career change, and he tends to be very Mary Poppins about that, also. He says "No problem, just start applying for jobs around here." In the field I want to get into, it's not that easy. I sort of appreciate his optimism, but at the same time I want someone who is going to be real with me. I appreciate what therapists can do, but these are problems I've had with mine, I just have to be straight with what I want out of them.
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