Author against_the_wind Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 I'm offended at your sweeping generaization. I'd like to be in a relationship, and I've tried to meet women in bars because that's were women ARE. They don't come knocking at my door. So true. Apparently, looking for a woman in a bar makes you: a) A troll b) desperate c) an alcoholic d) a stalker e) all of the above If you said "e" you just won a buck two-fifty-nine. But seriously, I think you are right and her judgment has no factual basis. Only speculation.
Meggedy Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 So that's one bad experience and I am sorry for you. Women do the same thing! According to this logic, you should never go anywhere alone. Well, one of many, just the strangest one. The point is that as I walked out of that restaurant that night, I kept checking over my shoulder because I thought creepy guy was going to come kidnap/rape/kill me. A little dramatic, sure, but remember women have to be concerned about these things by virtue of their smaller physical size and relative level of vulnerability (don't bash me for this folks, you know it's true). We are conditioned to expect the worst case scenario and avoid it, which is exactly the advice you would give your girlfriend/sister/mom, etc. (Right? Correct me if I'm off base here.) If you had some psycho woman do this to you (and you're right, it totally goes both ways), chances are your biggest worry would be embarassment. Women simply have more to worry about. And not going anywhere alone is extreme. But yes, most women I know do not go to the bar alone as a general rule. Simply the safety factor - we have all heard of things being slipped into drinks, etc. Also, chances are if you're headed home with someone you just met, your buddies will cheer you on. Chances are our friends would encourage us not to leave with a stranger. Our female friends are there to be our conscience when we're intoxicated, and keep us from getting into the wrong (or a dangerous) situation when we're impaired. So I think the difference is related to the general differences between men and women and the differences in expected standards of behavior.
riobikini Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Or: (f) the peace and tranquility of not having to agonize over *why* I didn't get a return call from an inebriated stranger. -Rio
Author against_the_wind Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 lol good boy, lol. Hey Mythical. I just looked at your profile... Where do you live? I am interested in knowing more about ya. Maybe I'll post a pic for ya. OMG this must make me a loveshack troll.
Author against_the_wind Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 Apparently, looking for a woman in a bar makes you: a) A troll b) desperate c) an alcoholic d) a stalker e) all of the above Or: (f) the peace and tranquility of not having to agonize over *why* I didn't get a return call from an inebriated stranger. -Rio That makes sense how? I am not agonizing over anything, just a simple observation. I could care less why these women don't call back. I am put off by the simple act of giving their numbers out without a reason.
Author against_the_wind Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 Women simply have more to worry about. I have to call BS on that. Slipping something in your drink, stalkers, rapists....OOH your poor fragile woman! How do you ever make it on your own.
IWalkAlone Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Here's my analysis of the bar scene... There's no women suitable for me to date in my workplace or within my social circle. Women in supermarkets are often focuses on their grocery list and feel intruded upon when a strange man starts talking to them and asking for a number. So I've tried meeting women in bars and here's what typically happens: Women I approch are cold and seem uninterested in talking to me. I ask a woman to dance. She tells me she's too tired. Two minutes later I see her on the dance floor with some other guy. I meet a women who seems interested in talking to me. I spend 20 minutes chatting her up, ask for her number, and she says "Sorry, I have a boyfriend!" I get a phone number, but it is either fake, or she never returns my call. Over the years I've had the occasional date with someone I met in a bar, and I once dated someone for about two months who I met at a bar, but these experiences are the exception. Bar experiences are part of te reason 've grown to be cynical about the women and the dating game in general. HERE'S THE DYNAMIC: Some women go to bars to flirt and get attention from men, but they have no intention of taking it further. This is frustrating for guys like me who's actually like to have a relationship. Next, while women say "personality counts more than looks" and "I hate players," the bar atmosphear with loud music and the possibility of someone hotter around the corner is not condusive to getting to know someone's personality. As a result, the bar environment favors men who are either very good looking, skilled players, or both. Women tend to ignore guys whose personalities they may like it they got to know themin a quiter, less distracting atmosphere in favor of shallow hot looking guys or skilled players just looking to get laid. Then they say "All guy in bars are jerks!"
riobikini Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Correction, re-statement: (Not) looking for a woman in a bar makes you (f) A person experiencing the peace and tranquility of not having to agonize over *why* they didn't get a return call from an inebriated stranger. Does that make it all better for you? -Rio
IWalkAlone Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 re: I'm a woman. And it's been nearly *two years* since I last sat in a bar. -Rio Not all women are in bars, but even if I knew where they lived, I'm not going to knock on their door and say "Hi, you don't know me, but would you like to have dinner & a movie with me?"
Author against_the_wind Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 I meet a women who seems interested in talking to me. I spend 20 minutes chatting her up, ask for her number, and she says "Sorry, I have a boyfriend!" If I am attracted to a woman I am talking to I simply ask "So where's your boyfriend at tonight?" Not that you'll get the truth.... but when i did this with the girl i mentioned in my first post she said "in the back, shooting pool" then gave me her number. But seriously, this simple question will save you lots of time and effort!
riobikini Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 re: IWA: "...while women say "personality counts more than looks" and "I hate players," the bar atmosphear with loud music and the possibility of someone hotter around the corner is not condusive to getting to know someone's personality.." But, then you said earlier: " I'm offended at your sweeping generaization. I'd like to be in a relationship, and I've tried to meet women in bars because that's were women ARE. They don't come knocking at my door." And you state that you are "frustrated" with the situation, besides. In my world, if I hate it when a burr sticks me in the a*s, I try to stay out of the pasture where they grow. Not being harsh with you, IWA -just realistic. -Rio
Author against_the_wind Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 Correction, re-statement: (Not) looking for a woman in a bar makes you (f) A person experiencing the peace and tranquility of not having to agonize over *why* they didn't get a return call from an inebriated stranger. Does that make it all better for you? -Rio It's not really agonizing though.... just silly.
Meggedy Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Apparently, looking for a woman in a bar makes you: a) A troll b) desperate c) an alcoholic d) a stalker e) all of the above No no no no no. (I'm feeling for you now, you sound so discouraged.) Women look for men in bars too. No biggie in my opinion. Had several first meetings in bars, obviously didn't work out, but not because we met in a bar, just because it didn't work out. The discussion here really does center around the worst case scenarios. Women simply have to be cognizant of these things in ways that men don't. 99.9% of the men in bars are completely normal. Just think of what you would tell the women you love, family, friends, etc.
Mythical Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 lol. Hey Mythical. I just looked at your profile... Where do you live? I am interested in knowing more about ya. Maybe I'll post a pic for ya. OMG this must make me a loveshack troll. lol I don't think there is anything in my profile, you can't be a "troll" to me lol cause I have a boy but your welcome to know more about me! I live in Canada you?
Author against_the_wind Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 re: In my world, if I hate it when a burr sticks me in the a*s, I try to stay out of the pasture where they grow. Not being harsh with you, IWA -just realistic. -Rio If I followed this logic, I could not date any women I meet from anywhere! I have got "burred" at college, work, bars.....
Author against_the_wind Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 lol I don't think there is anything in my profile, you can't be a "troll" to me lol cause I have a boy but your welcome to know more about me! I live in Canada you? Just moved to Myrtle Beach, a big change from where I used to live in Pennsylvania. Dating still sucks as much though
riobikini Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 re: ATW: " If I followed this logic, I could not date any women I meet from anywhere! I have got "burred" at college, work, bars....." ATW, maybe it's time to *review* all the info you know (or *think* you know) about who you are as a person, what type of lady you think you could actually go for, and a little less time "beating the bushes" (esp. in bars), so to speak. (Smile) -Rio
Author against_the_wind Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 ATW: And "frustrating"? -Rio Not really, once you learn to expect it, it begins to have a humorous value to it. I just wonder what would compell a girl behave some of the ways she does. I am the type of person that will analyze things, but when you try to categorize this type of behavior, it will just drive you insane because there is no logic to it.
IWalkAlone Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 re: But, then you said earlier: " I'm offended at your sweeping generaization. I'd like to be in a relationship, and I've tried to meet women in bars because that's were women ARE. They don't come knocking at my door." And you state that you are "frustrated" with the situation, besides. In my world, if I hate it when a burr sticks me in the a*s, I try to stay out of the pasture where they grow. Not being harsh with you, IWA -just realistic. I don't try to meet women in bars very much any more for that reason. The problem though is that I'm not in a relationship, I'd like to be in a relationshp, and the odds of meeting a nice girl in a bar are still better than meeting a nice girl in my living room while I'm watching a DVD by myself.
riobikini Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 re: ATW: "..when you try to categorize this type of behavior, it will just drive you insane because there is no logic to it." Then start doing things that make more sense with your life. -Rio
Author against_the_wind Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 re: ATW, maybe it's time to *review* all the info you know (or *think* you know) about who you are as a person, what type of lady you think you could actually go for, and a little less time "beating the bushes" (esp. in bars), so to speak. (Smile) -Rio OMG yes I must have some psychiatric issue, please proscribe me some prozac to make all the silly girls go away.
Author against_the_wind Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 re: Then start doing things that make more sense with your life. -Rio Going to a bar makes sense at times. WTF does this have to do with my thread anyway?
riobikini Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 re: IWA: "...the odds of meeting a nice girl in a bar are still better than meeting a nice girl in my living room while I'm watching a DVD by myself." The world is chock full of people -not *all* of them "taken", IWA. You are limiting your choices, limiting your resources, and surpressing all your potential, all your possibilities into this tiny corral called "My Poor Self Image". I suggest the same advice to you, as I gave before: start working on *you*. Once you get enough of that figured out -you are more likely to find that the availability-of-women issue will be much less of a problem. -Rio
IWalkAlone Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 re: ATW, maybe it's time to *review* all the info you know (or *think* you know) about who you are as a person, what type of lady you think you could actually go for, and a little less time "beating the bushes" (esp. in bars), so to speak. I have a good idea what kind of lady I'd like to meet, just as I have a good idea what kind of shoes I like to wear. But unlike with shoes, there is no "girlfriend store" where I can tell the sales clerk what I'm looking for and have one brought out. And when I do find shoes that I like (it usually takes less than 10 minutes), the shoes never say "let's just be friends."
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