Guest Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 This is going to be really long....sorry in advance...but I really need help... I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years now. I love him a lot but about 10 months ago we started having some problems. I tried to get him to talk to me about it but he blew me off and said nothing was wrong. He would all of a sudden talk about breaking up with me and then immediately say he wasn't serious when I told him I thought we should too. He used to be extremely jealous and possessive and he made me really unhappy. He screamed at me when one of my friends had her boyfriend give me a ride home when my car was messed up. He seemed like he only wanted to have sex with me and he acted different starting sometime around May of this past year. He stopped telling me I was beautiful and perfect and pretty. I was MISERABLE. Not to mention...around this time in May, he was very close to his "friend" who happened to be a girl. He talked to her all the time and invited her over to his house and to spend time with his family and I was never invited. To make things worse, he did it at a time when I was very sick and I thought I was pregnant AND when I was having a lot of family issues. Well, I thought he was cheating and asked him. He said no. But back in August, I was in his e-mail inbox (no, not snooping...he asks me to check his e-mail for him from time to time...and even though he hadn't asked me in a while, I thought I would be nice and check it) and found several e-mails that shocked me and hurt me deeply. The e-mails I found were: 1.) Several to the girl I mentioned above. He talked about how beautiful she was and how much he respected her and that if he wasn't dating me, he would "totally be hitting on her, too". They also talked about how he felt like he wasn't good enough for her. 2.) E-mails to one of his teachers he is friends with, where he mentioned the girl in #1 non-stop and just said that I was "very busy"...which wasn't true. 3.) A few e-mails to another girl he has been "friends" with for a long time...these hurt me the most. He told this girl he loved her more than anyone else in the world and said it felt so good to hear her say it to him and that he actually "choked on the words" saying it back to her. He also said he was "in a rut" and that it was "killing him"....referring to me. The next day, when he called me, I told him I found the e-mails and told him to explain himself. He stuttered a lot and freaked out...so I told him to leave me alone so I could have time to myself. Did he do that? OF COURSE NOT. He freaking WALKED to my house (several miles from where he was at) and cried around like crazy. I told him I needed a break, but he kept telling me he would kill himself. He told me that he's completely devoted to me and I mean the world to him and nothing like that will ever happen again...but how can I be so sure? I want to believe him...but I can't get rid of the nagging doubts in the back of my mind. It may seem stupid...but it still hurts me so much and I think about it a lot. Now...here's where it gets REALLY interesting... I had a huge crush on this guy four years ago. Turns out, he was my boyfriend's best friend. I know, I know...how awful am I? Well, over the last 2 1/2 years, we have gotten a lot closer and now we are best friends with each other too. We call each other brother and sister all of the time...but I realized that I was in love with him. I know it's terrible and I'm an awful person...but it's true. It's not just a crush thing like before. We have connected so deeply and I've never felt this way before. I get so lost in his eyes. I never told a soul like this but after the problems I had with my boyfriend...I admitted to my best friend that I was in love with him. Stupid, I know....but he told me he loved me...but just not in that way....only as a sister. My boyfriend (who doesn't know any of this) makes jokes about how our best friend likes me and he always says that he knows our best friend would have dated me...and that breaks my heart. Is it possible that he does love me, but would never admit it because of the awful situation? I mean...what guy would tell his best friend's girlfriend he loved her, right? I don't know. Maybe I just wish he felt the same way. I have this feeling that he does...ever since a year ago when, out of nowhere, my best friend and I had been driving around and he stopped the car, looked deep into my eyes and told me "You know, I would take a bullet for you". I'm sorry this was so long...but if anyone has any advice on these two situations I would appreciate it so much. I hope no one thinks I'm a terrible person for saying any of this...but it's killing me.
Dadubwa Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 WHO CARES IF YOU OTHER GUY DOESN'T LIKE YOU....... GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP YOU'RE IN!!!...your boyfriend is lying hunny, TRUST ME (i know a person you've never even met on an internet site)...unless you're point out ALL THE BAD...dump him...I'm serious.
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