Rooster_DAR Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 Does a female look desperate if they go somewhere, restaurant, bar, or similar places, alone? Going to the grocery store to meet people doesn't seem to work very well!!!! I felt this was after my 5 year relationship ended, here's what I did. I forced myself to go out by myself everywhere I could, even bars, until I was so comfortable being by myself I didn't give a **it what anybody thought (at first I did a little). After just a couple of months of being comfortable with this, I was meeting people left and right. It was awkward at first, I kept thinking people were looking at me and saying things like "poor guy, he must be desperate". But you know what, I kept the smile on my face and chin up high then women started approaching me. I went from having no social circle at all to having many new friends and dates within just a few months. I would urge anyone who fears going out alone to a club to do it just for the sole purpose of overcoming that feeling. You don't need anyone to tell you you're desperate, you don't need anyone feeling sorry for you, all you need is to be comfortable with yourself and once you have achieved that status the world will open it's doors to you. P.S. A good place to go would be where there is a live band or some form of entertainment, that way you can focus on the band so you have something to focus on. Cheers!
guin_girl Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 except all the guys are either total player jerks who just want to get laid or real great guys who already have gfs. we college students get screwed too believe me!!! I don't think there is an age bracket that doesn't have some of those. But it does get really hard to find "fresh" (as Rooster says) people. And it's even worse if you are in your late 30's, early 40's looking for someone who hasn't been married or already has kids... I have to sift through the "recycled" models for someone who only has one of those and not both. I hang out at sports bars so it makes it easy for me to meet guys and if I don't, who cares, I was there to watch the games anyway.
Rooster_DAR Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 For me, the whole idea behind "going out" (in regards to a bar, lounge, or even a nice restaurant) is to *socialize* with someone I've already pre-arranged to meet with. I really don't see anything particularly "wrong" or "dangerous" with doing it alone -but for me, there just wouldn't be as strong an attraction to doing it. The apparent drawbacks -appearing as "looking to hook up" with a stranger- is about the only major *detraction* as far as I'm concerned. I'd much rather call a friend to join me -and it doesn't necessarily have to be a romantic one. -Rio This has been the common belief, and I used to feel this way too. However; I have found that going to a bar alone is actually a better place to meet someone a little faster. People in bars and clubs tend to indulge in alcoholic beverages, which lower inhibitions and cause one to relax. This makes it far easier to talk to or meet someone, and bars and clubs aren't always the worst place to meet a potential partner. Many people say you should'nt date someone you meet in a club, but I believe this is not true by any means. Regards,
Pyro Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 I think that it depends on the person in regards to what point in your life dating is the most difficult. It can be easier when you are younger because you can go away to college and be surrounded by many potential dates, plus being younger, you tend to not be married yet or have kids, but also being young means that you still have to experience things and you will make mistakes along the way. Being older can be easier because you have gone through experiences dating and you hopefully have learned from your mistakes and have grown and matured, plus you have gotten the chance while going through those experiences to know what you want, so you are more prepared for dates, but also the older you get, the more people will get married and start families, so the number of singles will shrink.
Kittiecat Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 I sometimes grab a drink on my own after work. Sometimes it's just nice being around people without having to say much. I kind of like eavesdropping on conversations.
alphamale Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 I sometimes grab a drink on my own after work. Sometimes it's just nice being around people without having to say much. I kind of like eavesdropping on conversations. thats pretty kewl KC
lonelybird Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 anyway i am a believer now that u meet someone when u least expect it. its harder to go "searching" because if u dont meet someone that night it makes u feel crappy, lonely, and depressed. hope i helped ya! So true. when you don't need them, they flock to you. I guess people always more want something from others than give something. so when you least expect it, means you are content in your heart, don't need something from them, then they will come to you. so what will make you content in heart?
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