deyler Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 I have been married to her for 10 years and we have two wonderful children. I knew about her past before I met her but it is now making me feel terrible. I know I have an obsessive nature but when she was 18 she dated a black man (yes, it matters) who was extremely endowed. She went into detail about how large it was and how much stamina he had. My genitals are normal and I have never felt adequate sexually with her all of these years and I just can't seem to get over it. I cant have sex with her anymore even though I do love her. How can I ever feel adequate with her??
westernxer Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Ever seen Soul Man (or is it Troll Man?) with C. Thomas Howell? That's what you gotta do.
Guest Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 No, please explain the movie or your idea to get over this
JadeStar Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 I have been married to her for 10 years and we have two wonderful children. I knew about her past before I met her but it is now making me feel terrible. I know I have an obsessive nature but when she was 18 she dated a black man (yes, it matters) who was extremely endowed. She went into detail about how large it was and how much stamina he had. My genitals are normal and I have never felt adequate sexually with her all of these years and I just can't seem to get over it. I cant have sex with her anymore even though I do love her. How can I ever feel adequate with her?? Tell her about a women you were with before that had really big hooters. Remember to go into details as she did. OK, seriously, maybe she didn't realize it would bother you so much. Does she know you have a obsessive nature? Do you think she mentioned it to purposly tick you off? Thearpy might help you with your obessive nature. If she continues to tell you of this other man she was once with, or tells you things that you just feel you can't deal with, maybe shes not the one for you. JMO.
sb129 Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 I have been married to her for 10 years and we have two wonderful children. I knew about her past before I met her but it is now making me feel terrible. I know I have an obsessive nature but when she was 18 she dated a black man (yes, it matters) who was extremely endowed. She went into detail about how large it was and how much stamina he had. My genitals are normal and I have never felt adequate sexually with her all of these years and I just can't seem to get over it. I cant have sex with her anymore even though I do love her. How can I ever feel adequate with her?? Oh come on are you serious? Ten years and two kids later and NOW you are obsessing about this? Never mind Mr Well-Endowed. Having kids changes things "down there". You should feel adequate because its YOU she is with. YOU are the father of her kids. Good grief, are you a troll? Cos this can't be a serious post.
riobikini Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 re: Deyler: " have been married to her for 10 years and we have two wonderful children. I knew about her past before I met her....now making me feel terrible. " Just do, and act, and *be* the exact way you were during the last ten years with her when it didn't seem to matter. -Rio
Jeffrey Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 For fark's sake, BE A MAN! 1. You can't change the past. 2. You can't change your genitals 3. You have children to think about. Your 'adequacy' in bed has more to do with your personality and confidence than anything else in the world, especially if your genitals are 'normal' Buck up dude and BE A MAN. You're not going to sexually impress your wife with the insecurities of an inexperienced teenager. You can bet your bottom dollar, if you cannot BE A MAN and lay the pipe to her correctly YOU WILL BE INADAQUATE. Inner-strength and confidence are the 'keys' to being a stud in and out of bed. Just get over it and get over yourself and enjoy your marriage, life's too short for that kind of BS. I have been married to her for 10 years and we have two wonderful children. I knew about her past before I met her but it is now making me feel terrible. I know I have an obsessive nature but when she was 18 she dated a black man (yes, it matters) who was extremely endowed. She went into detail about how large it was and how much stamina he had. My genitals are normal and I have never felt adequate sexually with her all of these years and I just can't seem to get over it. I cant have sex with her anymore even though I do love her. How can I ever feel adequate with her??
Author deyler Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 Thanks for the candid reply's. Listen, most if not all men want to be the most adequate guy they (wife) have ever had. Knowing she has had a "black porn star", I cant be myself in bed. I cant do anything more than the basics. I know I have an obsessive nature and I have been on medication which helped but I feel that Im at an age where I should feel adequate and not have to deal with this. I have spent the last ten years trying to be more than the average man in other areas and it hasnt worked. When she met me I lived in the worst trailor you could imagine. I was poor and hopeless. I think she was in a rut as well. I pulled myself up and got a doctrate degree and I make very good money and have 7 buildings that I rent. I started lifting weights when we met to feel more manly but after everything I did---I feel no more of a man today than I did in that trailor. I would give everything up for a "tool" worthy of the job. I know this sounds stupid especially to the women. I cant be the only guy that has felt this way.
riobikini Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Deyler, your wife has loved you for the past ten years -"tool", included. Give that some thought. (Smile) -Rio
Jeffrey Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Big dicks are a dime a dozen, good guys aren't. Thanks for the candid reply's. Listen, most if not all men want to be the most adequate guy they (wife) have ever had. Knowing she has had a "black porn star", I cant be myself in bed. I cant do anything more than the basics. I know I have an obsessive nature and I have been on medication which helped but I feel that Im at an age where I should feel adequate and not have to deal with this. I have spent the last ten years trying to be more than the average man in other areas and it hasnt worked. When she met me I lived in the worst trailor you could imagine. I was poor and hopeless. I think she was in a rut as well. I pulled myself up and got a doctrate degree and I make very good money and have 7 buildings that I rent. I started lifting weights when we met to feel more manly but after everything I did---I feel no more of a man today than I did in that trailor. I would give everything up for a "tool" worthy of the job. I know this sounds stupid especially to the women. I cant be the only guy that has felt this way.
Salicious Crumb Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 I have been married to her for 10 years and we have two wonderful children. I knew about her past before I met her but it is now making me feel terrible. I know I have an obsessive nature but when she was 18 she dated a black man (yes, it matters) who was extremely endowed. She went into detail about how large it was and how much stamina he had. My genitals are normal and I have never felt adequate sexually with her all of these years and I just can't seem to get over it. I cant have sex with her anymore even though I do love her. How can I ever feel adequate with her?? Nice try with the fake post.
Salicious Crumb Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Oh come on are you serious? Ten years and two kids later and NOW you are obsessing about this? Never mind Mr Well-Endowed. Having kids changes things "down there". You should feel adequate because its YOU she is with. YOU are the father of her kids. Good grief, are you a troll? Cos this can't be a serious post. Thats what I was thinking. What kind of woman would go into detail like that. Like another poster said...how badly do you think he'd be beaten with a frying pan if he told his wife that he previous woman had a much better body and screwed a hell of lot better than she does? Thats why I can't believe this is a real post.
norajane Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Thanks for the candid reply's. Listen, most if not all men want to be the most adequate guy they (wife) have ever had. Knowing she has had a "black porn star", I cant be myself in bed. I cant do anything more than the basics. I would give everything up for a "tool" worthy of the job. I know this sounds stupid especially to the women. I cant be the only guy that has felt this way. It does sound really stupid because there isn't anything "more than the basics" that the penis can do, regardless of its size. What exactly do you think you'd be able to do with a bigger dick? It's still going in and out and that's about all it can do in there. A really big penis is actually painful, especially if he goes too deep - it hits the cervix and that HURTS. So, unless your wife has a 10 inch vagina, I doubt that he could even get his extra inches in there, leaving half his penis out in the cold. Plus, a big penis is harder to give a blow job. Again, most of the penis is out in the cold. Can't fit that much into a mouth. You are totally obssessing over the wrong thing. You CAN do a lot more than the "basics" with your TONGUE and your FINGERS and your IMAGINATION.
Salicious Crumb Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Thanks for the candid reply's. Listen, most if not all men want to be the most adequate guy they (wife) have ever had. Knowing she has had a "black porn star", I cant be myself in bed. I cant do anything more than the basics. I know I have an obsessive nature and I have been on medication which helped but I feel that Im at an age where I should feel adequate and not have to deal with this. I have spent the last ten years trying to be more than the average man in other areas and it hasnt worked. When she met me I lived in the worst trailor you could imagine. I was poor and hopeless. I think she was in a rut as well. I pulled myself up and got a doctrate degree and I make very good money and have 7 buildings that I rent. I started lifting weights when we met to feel more manly but after everything I did---I feel no more of a man today than I did in that trailor. I would give everything up for a "tool" worthy of the job. I know this sounds stupid especially to the women. I cant be the only guy that has felt this way. Ok...now you sound like a black guy trying to stir some sh!it.
Author deyler Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 Guys, I appreciate all of the feed back. First this is a real post. Who would take the time to come up with this and what is a troll. I used my own name to sign on. Second, its not about the actual act of sex and having a llarge penis. I think most men want the women to see it and react. They dont perform surgeries for nothing and there wouldnt be a billion dollar industry for penis pills and pumps and the like if I was just some stupid guy who cant get over it. Someone said she shouldnt have said those things but the truth is when we were dating and we were talking about the past, it came up and I dug the rest out and have semi-tortured her over the years with "how could she". In other countries-having a large penis means power and in this country is not much different.
whichwayisup Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 I have been married to her for 10 years and we have two wonderful children This is what you need to focus on. Much more important than how you are in bed. Remember, your wife married YOU, not the bigcocked black guy. I knew about her past before I met her but it is now making me feel terrible. I know I have an obsessive nature This is your own issue, not hers. With the help of therapy, you can learn to control your obsessive thoughts and change them into healthier thinking and healthier ways of handling the situation as a whole. I understand that it makes you feel uncomfy and insecure, but this is why details don't matter about past sex lives. Numbers fine, but details are a no-no! Don't ask, she shouldn't volunteer info - Both of you were wrong - Hense the situation now. You love her? You love your marriage, your kids and your life together?? Fight those obsessive thoughts, get help for it, please, otherwise it will ruin your marriage.... but when she was 18 she dated a black man (yes, it matters) who was extremely endowed. She went into detail about how large it was and how much stamina he had. My genitals are normal and I have never felt adequate sexually with her all of these years and I just can't seem to get over it. I cant have sex with her anymore even though I do love her. How can I ever feel adequate with her?? Has she ever complained? Or is it you just feeling like you don't measure up? TALK TO HER about sex, what she likes, doesn't like. Together learn how to please eachother and have fun in bed. Don't compare yourself to other men, remember and I'll say it again - She married you.
Topper Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 Are you up set tht the guy was black or that he had an extra large Penis? Old Blues song say "It aint the meat its the motion that makes me want to rock." Was that song by Billy Holiday? Hell I got a small unit but a very active imagination. and am very creative. You want to rock your wifes world and your own start looking into Tantric sex.
Author deyler Posted February 10, 2007 Author Posted February 10, 2007 Thankyou for your post (time). Im sure you are female and Im sure you think Im ridiculous. I think all guys are stupid when it comes to sex. To be honest, the older I get the more I think about wanting to be adequate or more than adequate to her. When I was youger, I concentrated on school and making money. Now I just want to walk through the room naked and feel secure. This probably sounds real dumb but I would like to hit bottom and cause her a LITTLE pain or discomfort. I have dated women long ago who thought I was big and that feeling has to be one of the greatest feelings of all time. There must be one guy on here that knows what Im talking about or can relate. Please dont say stupid things like: its the motion of the ocean. Women want big boobs, so whats the difference.
whichwayisup Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 I don't think you're ridculous at all. I just understand warped ways of thinking because I suffer from anxiety, and have been doing CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) to help me cope better and deal with the anxiety. The thing about CBT is, it changes your way of thinking, and with your obessive thought patterns, I think the CBT can help you. (I am female, you were right about that one!)
CaliGuy Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 Guys, I appreciate all of the feed back. First this is a real post. Who would take the time to come up with this and what is a troll. I used my own name to sign on. Second, its not about the actual act of sex and having a llarge penis. I think most men want the women to see it and react. They dont perform surgeries for nothing and there wouldnt be a billion dollar industry for penis pills and pumps and the like if I was just some stupid guy who cant get over it. Someone said she shouldnt have said those things but the truth is when we were dating and we were talking about the past, it came up and I dug the rest out and have semi-tortured her over the years with "how could she". In other countries-having a large penis means power and in this country is not much different. If this is truly not a joke, all I can say is GET OVER IT. It's been 10 years. If it didn't bother you then but it does now, you need to learn to deal with your own insecurities. Sorry. This calls for "tough love."
RocketMan2 Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 How have you brought the matter up with her before? You're bothered because you're insecure and you need her to appreciate that. If she loves you she should want to help you. If the only way you've spoken to her about it is to "cause her a pain" then thats completely wrong mate sorry, althought i can see your reasoning. Sit her down and explain to her that you love her very much, and that you have some insecurites which maybe you have taken out on he guy from her past, which you should apologise for. Tell her you would appreciate a compliment or two every now and again, and that you'd like to work on improving your sex life for both of you, but that you feel nervous. Show her you're bothered about the whole thing because you have a problem that you'd like her to help you with, rather than lashing out. Rocket
sb129 Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 Guys, I appreciate all of the feed back. First this is a real post. Who would take the time to come up with this and what is a troll. I used my own name to sign on. Second, its not about the actual act of sex and having a llarge penis. I think most men want the women to see it and react. They dont perform surgeries for nothing and there wouldnt be a billion dollar industry for penis pills and pumps and the like if I was just some stupid guy who cant get over it. Someone said she shouldnt have said those things but the truth is when we were dating and we were talking about the past, it came up and I dug the rest out and have semi-tortured her over the years with "how could she". In other countries-having a large penis means power and in this country is not much different. I really cannot believe what I am reading. A large penis has power???? How do people know? I do not give a monkeys how big the world leaders bits are- who CARES! Does it make a difference how they lead countries? NO! Billion dollar industry for penis pumps and pills huh???? And they work too right? Go buy some of them then if you are that obsessed with this. (oh brother) Ever heard of the placebo effect? And FYI, NOT all women want bigger boobs. I am quite happy with mine, small and perfectly formed is good for me. You need to get over it. It happened before your wife met you. Hence its not really any of your business and she didn't even have to tell you about it. this is crazy Where is magichands? I would love to hear his take on this.
magichands Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 but when she was 18 she dated a black man (yes, it matters) who was extremely endowed. She went into detail about how large it was and how much stamina he had. Did you ask her? Did she volunteer this information? How big was it?? You need to get your hands on an XL glass dildo, and a cardboard cut-out of Will Smith, as soon as possible. Sorry it took me so long to find this thread. I hope it's not too late!! Good luck. Yes, they are dishwasher safe.
sb129 Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 AS they say- its a poor workman that blames his tools.
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