SassyNClassy Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 I'm seeing my ex next Tuesday to exchange some things. We were together for about 2.5 years and we've been broken up for about 7 months now and have only seen each other 2 times sense then. I don't want to create a self fulfilling prophecy here, but I feel that this is really going to set me back. I'm still upset with myself for the way things ended. I sort of initiated the breakup and then changed my mind when I realised how much I really cared for him. By this time he had decided that it was better we were apart and was working on moving on. I'm scared I'll never get over this regret that I still feel about screwing up the way I did. I feel like I've made a lot of progress and have been dating some. Obviously, the fact that I don't talk to him or see him at all has helped in this aspect. I still care about him as a person that was important in my life, but I'm afraid that seeing him will bring all my emotions back to the forefront. I just don't know how I'm going to deal with this
Am4Real Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 I'm seeing my ex next Tuesday to exchange some things. We were together for about 2.5 years and we've been broken up for about 7 months now and have only seen each other 2 times sense then. I don't want to create a self fulfilling prophecy here, but I feel that this is really going to set me back. I'm still upset with myself for the way things ended. I sort of initiated the breakup and then changed my mind when I realised how much I really cared for him. By this time he had decided that it was better we were apart and was working on moving on. I'm scared I'll never get over this regret that I still feel about screwing up the way I did. I feel like I've made a lot of progress and have been dating some. Obviously, the fact that I don't talk to him or see him at all has helped in this aspect. I still care about him as a person that was important in my life, but I'm afraid that seeing him will bring all my emotions back to the forefront. I just don't know how I'm going to deal with this Good morning CLASSY, May I ask whose idea was it to get together to exchange belongings? You sound like you are torn between moving on, harboring further regret and possibly seeing if there is still a spark between you… Of course you already know what might be the consequences of seeing each other if you have not moved on fully at this point (which it sounds like you have not). You could end up with a major emotional setback should you see him and further dive into a sea of regret, and/or end up wishing for a reconciliation through some expectation that he rejects etc. Be honest with yourself if you can; if there is a remote possibility of setting yourself back with any of the above scenarios it might be best to postpone such a rendezvous or find another way to exchange your personal belongings. Between me an my EX she wanted to see me “one more time” (she was torn between continuing an engagement with a new man or me I suppose); I declined that opportunity by not responding to the offer – I did not say yes or no. I had already boxed up all of her belongings and mementos and simply mailed all of them back to her via the good old postal service. I have not heard from her since! All my ties became officially broken at that time and as painful as it was (including my regrets for being the original dumper JUST like you), I could at least move on knowing I am FREE and CLEAR. Good luck in your decision; let us know how it goes!!!
ratingsguy Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 I had already boxed up all of her belongings and mementos and simply mailed all of them back to her via the good old postal service. I have not heard from her since! All my ties became officially broken at that time and as painful as it was... I agree with A4R... and I've actually done this also. Just mail him everything you need to return to him (postage due... j/k ). Maybe put a polite note in there asking him to do the same with your belongings. Seeing him will set you back if you're hesitant about meeting him... even if it's just to exchange things. Just seeing this person's face will bring back a flood of emotion, and you do NOT want that to happen. Good luck!
Kelso Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 It's simple. If you have any feelings towards him, then don't go and see him. Unless you're changing some internal organs ... just mail the stuff to him and ask him to mail your stuff. It takes time and if you aren't finally over him - just don't go see him. In my case we broke up about four months ago. I'm finally getting over her and it's going pretty well these days. Still I'm afraid that it would just wake up old memories to see her, so that's why I still avoid the places I know where she might be hanging out at. Even though I know I don't want her back, it feels uncomfortable to see her ... that's why I don't Have a nice weekend
Am4Real Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 It's simple. If you have any feelings towards him, then don't go and see him. Unless you're changing some internal organs ... just mail the stuff to him and ask him to mail your stuff. It takes time and if you aren't finally over him - just don't go see him. In my case we broke up about four months ago. I'm finally getting over her and it's going pretty well these days. Still I'm afraid that it would just wake up old memories to see her, so that's why I still avoid the places I know where she might be hanging out at. Even though I know I don't want her back, it feels uncomfortable to see her ... that's why I don't Have a nice weekend Kelso, most of us are in the same position in that we do not want to return physically by not wanting to go backwards mentally (emotionally). Good advice! I agree with A4R... and I've actually done this also. Just mail him everything you need to return to him (postage due... j/k ). Maybe put a polite note in there asking him to do the same with your belongings. Seeing him will set you back if you're hesitant about meeting him... even if it's just to exchange things. Just seeing this person's face will bring back a flood of emotion, and you do NOT want that to happen. Good luck! Hang in there ratingsguy; I viewed your last post and sort of asumed things are tough for you at the moment.
Author SassyNClassy Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 Thanks for the advice guys. I wish it were as easy as mailing something back though. You see, this meeting involves removing me from the shared phone line, which neither he nor I want to share any longer. We've limped it along for 7 months now so it really needs to get done. I'm going onto a shared line with my mom and sis now so both of them are going to be there too Damn this is going to be ackward!!
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