Guest Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 So I"m newy single (about six months ago) I was in a five year relationship and a two year relationship before that so I'm not really sure where to meet people. I'm 29, no kids, cute, have a decent job and my own place. I was planning on marrying my ex but he cheated and I left him. I've gone on a few dates recently and realized that I HATE dating. Its so strange to be dating again and it seems like all thats left is everyone's left overs. One guy who I went out with (set up through a friend of mine) was really nice over the phone, we got along, he seemed like a good guy, was very ambitious, he would send me emails every day with little jokes in them. He was a very funny guy. Well we went out and told me I looked nice but then basically insulted me. I"m short- about five foot one and weigh about 106 lbs. I'm not overweight by any means but he actually said to me that 'you looked skinnier in the picture that Rae showed me (my friend). I wear size 1 jeans! Do I have to be anorexic to be attractive? The next guy I dated was a manager at a computer tech firm. He was cute and charming and I met him online. Our first date we went out to dinner and it was going well and he started asking me about my job (I work in social services) and he asked how much money I make (not alot- around 30,000 yr) and he basically told me that he thinks I"m in a dead end job, have no ambition and asked don't I want more for myself? Well I happen to be in this field of work because I enjoy my job not because of the money and social workers don't get paid much here (I live in a small town). One problem I"ve run into is that most of the single guys are either divorced or have kids which isnt' a problem to me but they have so much baggage. I went out with one man in his mid thirties who all he did was rant about his ex wife. I would really like to have kids of my own some day so I dont' really want to date someone who already has three kids of his own. (it would depend on the person though). Another thing I've experienced is that I take classes at a local university for something to do (already have my degree) and I've met new people through that. But most of the guys my age don't want to date someone MY age. They are all running after younger women. Even one of my exes (the 2 year guy) is 28 and a successful air traffic controller who owns his own home and several vehicles and is well off, is dating 21 and 23 year olds. A guy I work with is 30 and dating an 18 year old. I know of several "men" who are dating women who are at least ten years younger than then. Most people think I'm about 23 or 24 when I meet then but some when I tell them how old I actually am they arent as interested. Also when I tried online dating I set up two profiles to test this theory- one said I was 24 and the other said I was 29. No pictures on either) I got emails from many older men (in their forties and fifties no less) to the 24 year old profile. And when I would email younger guys stating my real age a lot wouldn't respond. Even with a picture. One told me I was "too old for him" He was 25!! I know online dating isnt' the best resource (lots of crazy people) but I have no idea how else to meet people except through work or friends or by taking classes at the university. I don't enjoy going to bars or going out dancing or anything because most of those single guys are just interested in someone for the night. I miss being in a relationship but its not like I'm shopping around for a husband! I just want to find a nice guy who is fun to hang out with who doesn't lie or cheat. How do you meet decent people?
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Well I can't speak to living in a small town, because I live in a city with over a million people in it.... but anyway, I do think that internet dating is the way to go. I agree that taking college courses is a great way to meet people (my ex and I met in class while getting our masters). But since we broke up, I turned once more to the good old internet (I did once during my undergraduate also). I've had good luck on there. I haven't found what you're reporting about guys only digging girls younger than them. My ex is two years younger than me, and the guy I'm currently dating is a year younger than me (I'm 28). Of course, I've dated guys older too. My two other exes since college were four and two years older than me. Of course, do you really want to take love advice from someone who has so many ex-boyfriends? lol Anyway, hang in there. My friend has done internet dating for about two years and she said she's been on about a hundred dates, and sadly only about 10% of them are good. I have only met about ten guys on the internet, and several of them are into me but I've only met two that I really am into. It's hit or miss but if you keep at it, I think you'll have success!
against_the_wind Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 I don't enjoy going to bars or going out dancing or anything because most of those single guys are just interested in someone for the night. Not true. Why do many women think this about bars? I am single, not looking for one night. I liek to go out to a bar from time to time to relax. I don't expect to meet the woman of my dreams there or anywhere for that matter. But if it happens, it happens. I don't understand this negative connotation about bars. You have just as much of a chance of meeting a loser there as anywhere else. How do you meet decent people? "decent" is a loaded word. it hold different meanings for different people. Either way, it's a tough question to answer. I personally have had a difficult time meeting decent women all through my twenties. I wouldn't even consider my last girlfriend to be a decent person anymore. You have to just keep looking and do not give up.
Rooster_DAR Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 Contrary to popular belief, bars and clubs are a great place to meet a potential date. Sure, there are slimy people in bars, but for every slimy person there are two or three decent people. Cheers!
alextop30 Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 oh man I am just gonna say what I think because I dont have nearly as much experiance as you do but as I read it seems that you are really nice but something is really not fitting between you and your dates and let me just say I think you have exeptional case of bad luck but as far as guys your age going after young girls that is not normal --- guys are stupid and dont realize what is happening but I believe that even if you do find a younger guy that you like and he likes you - you should still give it a shot but that is just my opinon and I guess if you like night clubs you might want to find someone good there coz I know lots of my friends who are in their late 20's are there. I mean it is kinna ruff but I think you will find what you are looking for but it might take a little more digging coz you are looking for somehting special.
Kamille Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 I've been wondering the same thing... I just moved to a small city and am having a hard time adjusting to the dating scene here. I haven't tried on-line dating yet, in part because the city feels too small even for that. And to top it all off, the population of the city is 3 women for every 2 guys - this population trend being even more dramatic for my age group. And the friends I have who are still into going out are not really into the same scene as I am, which makes it even harder to meet men I might be interested in - or vice versa (men who would be interested in me). I keep telling myself I will volunteer somewhere, but I still have to choose an association.
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