RocketMan2 Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 Its been 6 weeks since she dumped me. The only contact ive had from her since is her trying to get her stuff back, and not even politely. Why am I pathetically hanging on the idea that she'll 'realise her mistake' or 'see sense'. If she was going to, she'd have done it by now. If I was someone else looking at this situation, the answer is obvious. Why can't I grasp it? Rocket
alasia Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 We all do it - stop beating yourself up over it hun. You've read my posts, you've seen that there is ABSOLUTELY NO CHANCE of me and my ex ever getting back togetehr, yet I'm still hanging onto the pathetic hope that one day he'll want me back (and then if I'm over him by then, I can shoot him down - HA! I'd prefer to try and work things out though...) I think it's part of the whole greiving process. Do you have a lot to fill your days? At the moment I'm not working so I haven't had much to occupy my time during the day, and I haven't got too much money to go out at night at the moment either. I do have a few nights out plabned for next week though, which should help take my mind off things. If you haven't been doing it already, keep busy. You'll probably think about her loads at first, but just try and push those thoughts from your mind as soon as they arrive and hopefully after a while, you'll start to think of her less. And STOP BEING SO DOWN ON YOURSELF! I do it too; beat myself up for thinking about my ex so much, which gets me thinking about him even more...it's a vicious cycle. Start accepting the fact you have to 'grieve' over losing your ex, and I'm sure it'll help you move on.
Kelso Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 Just like I told you in the other post, you are going through that "How can I get her back phase". What you must realize is that, you don't need her. It takes time and it is completely normal to take some time to recover from a breakup but I'll promise you that in few weeks time you'll be back on your feet stronger than ever. I promise you that Just stick to NC ... it works magic.
Davis Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Its been 6 weeks since she dumped me. Why am I pathetically hanging on the idea that she'll 'realise her mistake' or 'see sense'. If she was going to, she'd have done it by now. If I was someone else looking at this situation, the answer is obvious. Why can't I grasp it? Hey bro. You're not pathetic. We all have hopes that our exes will change their minds and it will be a dream when they're back. We would like them to "realize" what a big mistake they made (that would make our ego feel better wouldn't it?). Isn't that what we see in the movies? And then they live happily ever after in perfect bliss and harmony. Yeah, right. Are you sure you would even want her back? I bet if you look at her bad traits they outweigh the good traits. I took my ex back and she cheated on me again. She turned out to be a total liar with drinking and psychological issues. Your ex may not be as perfect as you are thinking. Typically we idealize our exes after a breakup. That makes it tougher. ArtCritic has a great saying on his signature: "one day someone will walk into you life and you will understand why it never worked out with anyone else". Your ex may seem like the "end all" to you at this point, but it didn't work for a reason. Keep in mind another woman will walk into your life that will make you wonder why you spent all this time thinking about your ex. Hang in there man.
Am4Real Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Hey bro. You're not pathetic. We all have hopes that our exes will change their minds and it will be a dream when they're back. We would like them to "realize" what a big mistake they made (that would make our ego feel better wouldn't it?). Isn't that what we see in the movies? And then they live happily ever after in perfect bliss and harmony. Yeah, right. Are you sure you would even want her back? I bet if you look at her bad traits they outweigh the good traits. I took my ex back and she cheated on me again. She turned out to be a total liar with drinking and psychological issues. Your ex may not be as perfect as you are thinking. Typically we idealize our exes after a breakup. That makes it tougher. ArtCritic has a great saying on his signature: "one day someone will walk into you life and you will understand why it never worked out with anyone else". Your ex may seem like the "end all" to you at this point, but it didn't work for a reason. Keep in mind another woman will walk into your life that will make you wonder why you spent all this time thinking about your ex. Hang in there man. Davis -- you are wise my friend, very wise!
shockandawed Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Davis is definitely a wise man! LOL!!! I have been on the winning my ex back rollercoaster and it sucks. You will get through this Rocket. I know I will, although I have plenty of down time every day. I got real depressed earlier this evening and almost didn't go make my last call because of it. But as hard as it came on, it also went away and I feel pretty decent right now. I'm sure there is plenty more of that ahead but we will be better people for this.
AriaIncognito Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 I understand how you feel rocket. I too sit here and think "someday he'll realize what he had" and hope for the whole reunion and happily ever after thing. And it sucks. However I've sucked and not stuck to NC. He's contacted me daily for the past week. We only had 2 days of NC maybe after the split. I know what i need to do, just been bad at doing it I guess. Anyway, chin up. Do your best to push through. We are all in the craptastic situation together.
lovelorcet Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 This is why it is immportant to move on. Do you really want to allow yourself to be treated the way she had been treating you? She knows that she can treat you like sh*t and if you were to have another relationship with her then it is only a matter of time before she will do it again. If you want read some of the post from Gunny, he has some pretty interesting view about manning-up. Hang in there man!!
MotherGooze Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Its been 6 weeks since she dumped me. The only contact ive had from her since is her trying to get her stuff back, and not even politely. Why am I pathetically hanging on the idea that she'll 'realise her mistake' or 'see sense'. If she was going to, she'd have done it by now. If I was someone else looking at this situation, the answer is obvious. Why can't I grasp it? Rocket You're not an idiot, you're human. It's normal to feel this way. But try not to hang on to this idea. try and make some nice plans. The first thing I did when my bf broke up with me was booking a vacation. Try and make plans for the future, things you can look forward to. Do things that interest you. You'll see, you're better off without her.
sb129 Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Its been 6 weeks since she dumped me. The only contact ive had from her since is her trying to get her stuff back, and not even politely. Why am I pathetically hanging on the idea that she'll 'realise her mistake' or 'see sense'. If she was going to, she'd have done it by now. If I was someone else looking at this situation, the answer is obvious. Why can't I grasp it? Rocket Because you are emotionally bruised and battered! Its easy to be rational about someone elses situation because you aren't emotionally involved. You are going thru the normal grieving process that happens when a R ends. As everyone says, don't be so hard on yourself. Its only been six weeks. And as cliched as it may sound, time really is the best healer. One day you will wake up and realise that your ex hasn't occupied your thoughts 24/7 (maybe only 20/7!!) and you will know that you are on the road to getting over her. Cliche no 2: what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I believe that.
Am4Real Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Because you are emotionally bruised and battered! Its easy to be rational about someone elses situation because you aren't emotionally involved. You are going thru the normal grieving process that happens when a R ends. As everyone says, don't be so hard on yourself. Its only been six weeks. And as cliched as it may sound, time really is the best healer. One day you will wake up and realise that your ex hasn't occupied your thoughts 24/7 (maybe only 20/7!!) and you will know that you are on the road to getting over her. Cliche no 2: what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I believe that. I would have to agree!
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