hunnybuns Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 How do you know if your H is cheating what are some signs???
JadeStar Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 Google, "signs of cheating." You will get lots of signs I'm sure. But, the thing is, you need to remember they are signs, it doesn't always mean that someone is cheating. Some people can have every "sign" in the book they are cheating, and not be cheating at all, and some can have no signs at all, be cheating. One of the main things to pay atention is, gut instinct.
Kathleen2260 Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 Why do you suspect your husband? Has his behavior changed or is he spending more time away from home lately? Normally some signs of cheating are any noticable change in grooming habits- such as he suddenly starts buying new clothes (if he didn't care how he looked before) or starts working out or trying to look better or lose weight. Also a change in sexual behavior- whether he now wants sex more or has lost interest. Guarding his cell phone with his life is a red flag. Coming up with long explanations to tell you where he was at if he was out late. There are a lot of different clues. In my relationship the signs I noticed were my SO was spending time with this woman (a married ex) who was just a friend. He would get angry at me if I didnt' want him talking to her. She would call the house and he would say she was just calling to see how "we were doing" and he claimed it was innocent. He also "happened to bump into her" quite a lot. Being secretive about emails or logging off the internet quickly if you enter a room, going to another room to talk on the phone (if he doesnt' normally do this). Getting angry at you for asking questions, accusing YOU of cheating (to deflect attention away from his bad behavior), telling you that you are just paranoid or crazy. But as the last poster said gut feeling is usually the best indicator. My SO lied and lied about his "friendship" with the OW. He reassured me, he went as far as to try to get me to befriend her. My gut told me something wasn't legit with the two of them. And it turned out that I was right.
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 Considering that you are involved with a MM, how would that affect you if you found out your husband was cheating on you?
Author hunnybuns Posted February 8, 2007 Author Posted February 8, 2007 it might just get me where I need to be. Maybe we do not belong together. That is what I am trying to figure out.
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 I would think that you sleeping with someone else's husband would be enough to clue you in on the fact that you do not belong together. How is it that you think you belong together if you are sleeping around, but that you don't belong together if he is sleeping around?
noforgiveness Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 :laugh: OMG i was feeling all sorry for you and worried for you that you thought your husband was cheating but you suspect him of cheating when in fact you are cheating? Oh that's rich. I'm sure that would make life much easier for you if he was the cheat and you caught him before you got your butt nailed.
JadeStar Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 :laugh: OMG i was feeling all sorry for you and worried for you that you thought your husband was cheating but you suspect him of cheating when in fact you are cheating? Oh that's rich. I'm sure that would make life much easier for you if he was the cheat and you caught him before you got your butt nailed. Me too, until LB pointed it out.
Starman Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Me too, until LB pointed it out. Not to say this is true in all cases but it seems to me that people who cheat seem to get more pissed off when their partner cheats on them then those that don't cheat? What a bunch of hypocrites! "How can I tell if my SO is cheating?" Maybe they are doing the EXACT same thing YOU are!! Unreal!!
Guest Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 I hope you find this list helpful. Secretive phone calls Unreachable by phone Unexplained numbers on phone bill If you call their cell phone and get the call waiting beep...they say they weren't using the phone. Never leaves the house without their cell phone/pager Hang up calls or someone always saying they've got the wrong number when you answer Hiding cell phone or pager Strange numbers on pager ( could be codes) Hiding cell phone/home phone bills/credit card statements Phone bills changed from detailed to normal Acting different( short tempered, distant, defensive, etc.) Neglecting chores at home Picking fights over trivial things in order to get you to leave the house, or so they can leave the house Accusing YOU of cheating Withdrawing from you/family/friends Pointing out YOUR flaws Telling you that you'll talk about your relationship concerns when it's more "convenient" Little input into future plans with you Telling you your concerns about the relationship are "all in your head" Avoid any conversation with you other than basics ( "when's dinner", etc.) The " I love you, but I’m not IN love with you " talk New interest in exercise/diet More time at the gym Sleeping ALOT New cologne/perfume New wardrobe Suddenly carrying breath fresheners( gum, mints, etc.) with them constantly New password protection on computer Secret e-mail accounts Up on computer to all hours Closing dialogue windows on the computer when you walk into the room Erasing computer history after every use Unexplained purchases on credit card ATM withdrawals at unusual locations Extra mileage on the car Errands that should take 1/2 hour take much longer Claims to do things they've never done before ( shop, etc.) Buying expensive flowers or gifts for no reason ( if they've not done that before) Getting a detailed daily itinerary from you so you won't cross paths Leaves early for work or comes home late more Claims to work overtime, yet no overtime on checks Mentioning a "friend" but never introducing you Too many visits to "friends" The he's/she's just a friend story Lying about where they've been or whom they are with Coming home late saying they " just lost track of time" Regular friends to both of you acting weird or embarrassed around you Offers to go to the store when they usually wouldn't Sends you to the store when they could easily go themselves Unknown cigarette butts in ashtrays Passenger seat position changes Changes in sexual behavior with you (may be more or less frequency) or different techniques Hiding Viagra Hiding condoms
SadrBtWizr Posted March 11, 2007 Posted March 11, 2007 I would recommend checking out the web site in my signature, there's a lot of articles on that topic. (Detect Infidelity).
outofdarkness Posted March 11, 2007 Posted March 11, 2007 Hi! The info that I have gotten from this thread has been a great "refresher" course for me! Also, As a BW, I post quite often on the OW forum...So I do't see why the OW's can't post on here to get advice. It only seems fair. If they are willing to advise us, why shouldn't we try to be helpful to them? Just my opinion. Also, you might try doing a search on LS of signs for cheating. There are some great older posts out there too that I found helpful. You will have to sort of tailor the results to your particular situation... I do agree that your very first clue that he may be cheating is the fact that he is cheating already...Hope this helps..
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