Guest Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 I am dating the girl of my dreams. She is everything I have ever wanted in a girl. She is smart, witty, beautiful, ect. We have everything in common and it is wonderful. When I think of a soul mate she is the person I think about. I completely trust her and I know she completely trusts me. This is a girl I would do anything for and expect to get nothing back from it. I still get a little nervous when calling her, or when I am driving to her house (I am actually in college three hours away at the time). I think about her all the time. She is the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep. I think about her throughout the day when I am not doing other things. This is what I think my problem is...I have been having cold feet for some reason. For some reason my head has been batting around how much I really love her. I know deep in my heart that I love her, but my head keeps throwing it around. I think about it so much that my stomach starts to hurt and makes me feel sick. I don't know why my head is throwing around these ideas, she is wonderful to me and is everything I could want. We never fight about anything. When I am around her I am fine, except for when I begin throwing around those ideas. Part of me wants to say this is all coming from it being somewhat long distance and that I only get to see her once every other week. Honestly, the distance has never bothered me before and I don't see why it could be now. This also makes me believe that I am not around her enough which makes me think about her which in turn makes me think deeper into things. My heart feels love, but my mind is trying to taint this. Why is this happening...
Lauriebell82 Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 ok wait, let me see if i understand what ur asking here. ur not sure about the relationship or not sure about ur love for her? those are two seperate thngs. do u have doubts that ur going to break up because of the distance, or doubts that u actually love the girl? from everything u've said it sounds like ur madly in love so i dont know what the problem is. everyone has doubts about relationships sooner or later..esp. LDR. see and talk to ur gf as much as u can. how long have u guys been together? the longer ur together the less little doubtlets u have. hope i helped u!
riobikini Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 re: Guest: " My heart feels love, but my mind is trying to taint this. Why is this happening..." Many people get this "doomsday" feeling when their relationship is actually at its very best. Why? One of the most common reasons, I think, is because of their own intelligence (Smile) -I'll explain: They're *intelligent* enough to know that some very important "bonding" hasn't occured, yet, in regrads to how to resolve differences -or deal with a lover's quarrel, or fight. Until you *know* how each other reacts in, and responds to conflict between you -there's this feeling of uneasiness that leads to questions which build into mountains of uneccessary concern, fear, and/or ambivalence regarding just how "right" for each other you really are -or how strong your relationship truly is. A lot of folks don't realize that negative events, emotional trials, or "bad" things, even those of a conflictive nature are very important to learn how to resolve issues in a relationship -and thus, create a specific kind of trust and bonding which can actually strengthen it. Not knowing the strength of your relationship regarding having never having been confronted with trials or conflict can cause questions to develop, sometimes. This *could* be what's happening with you, at this moment, given your description of how sweet and non-conflictive your relationship (thus far) has been. The only person who really knows if this is the reason for your "uneasiness" or "cold feet" is *you* -so have a little "pow-wow" with yourself to find out for sure. (Smile) -if that's the problem -don't worry about it- conflict will appear sooner or later and you'll be able to cross out that particular question on your list. Be advised, though -I wouldn't recommend starting an argument just to "test" the strength of any relationship, or to rush the heralding in of your awaiting new strength via the experience. Good luck to you both when your day of (mild, minor, or serious) conflict appears. May you both have the wisdom, courage, and enough love for each other to resolve it. -Rio
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