channelz Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 my relationship of 2 years came to an end a couple of months ago. i feel that i was taken advantage of emotionally and used for the moment. the person that i dated was from thousands of miles away and had been living here without many friends. her dad died and she was sad and lonely. she really latched onto me and i was glad to be there as a friend. yes, i know i agreed to get into the relationship but she was really desperate for it now that i look in retrospect. i now feel like she needed to have a male close to her to replace what she had lost and now that she's over it she's ready to move on and move on from me without regard for my feelings. when she was lonely i was there and willing to listen now that i'm lonely i have no one, not even a call not even a letter not even a card not anything. i'm left to suffer in a loneliness that i wouldn't let another suffer in. i can't concentrate at work and i am lost. really lost, i have nothing and i don't know what to do next. i know i'll need to cope somehow but i really feel upset and sick and tired of relationships right now. if it will change i don't know, but right now i don't feel like i want to waste my time in one ever again cause the only things that seem to come from them are a loss ofmoney, a waste of time, and pain in the end. she has since moved back to her former life to all of her friends like nothing happened. i tend to end up in relationships where i am there to fix things and build confidence and once they've got it they move on and leave me.
shockandawed Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 Channelz, I feel for you. My situation is somewhat similar. No deaths, but she was lonely and in the middle of getting out of a dead end marriage. She has no friends yet she lives in the same small town she has lived in all her life. I gave her my friends, family and a decent life. In the end, she abruptly ended it for a guy with several small children and a dead end job. I think alot of my hanging on is this silly feeling that she needs my help. You sound like a decent person who gave your heart to someone who can't handle that. It's not you. Hang in there. Keep us posted.
thatmatt Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 My situation is also similar, it sounds like you were a great BF, and got taken advantage of, and it's hard to remember the caring, loving, happy person of before, because it hurts too much to think of that person being used. But although it takes time, you have to search yourself and regain those things that were (and still are) great qualities, and keep telling yourself that there is someone out there who will truely be able to appreciate you.
SHMILY Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Well, I was in a similar situation a few months ago and I know this type of thing happens very often. So the only lesson I learned from it is that a relationship should never start out of sympathy. Hold on to your good qualities which make you a great person. The better you are, the better people you attract. Do not form such a negative view about relationships. We all feel sick and tired of it after being hurt so bad. So just take a break from it and live life to the fullest on your own for now.
Guest Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Channelz, I feel for you. My situation is somewhat similar. No deaths, but she was lonely and in the middle of getting out of a dead end marriage. She has no friends yet she lives in the same small town she has lived in all her life. I gave her my friends, family and a decent life. In the end, she abruptly ended it for a guy with several small children and a dead end job. I think alot of my hanging on is this silly feeling that she needs my help. You sound like a decent person who gave your heart to someone who can't handle that. It's not you. Hang in there. Keep us posted. several small childrenm? like garden ghomes? hey, the end of a relationship is not about exterior crap - its what happens inside - its better in the inside. the end happens between two people - you are talking about cause and effect. for example - i lost confidence, got depressed, addicted - porn - that had ZERO to do with her - it was all about me
ShermanAct Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 I feel you in the nice-guy-being-used department, because I'm only 3 months removed from such a breakup myself. Looking back, you feel kind of a dolt for letter her doing be so selfish, and using you the way that she did, and I've reached some real lows in the confidence department. I think it's important to focus on the macro-perspective, which is so hard to do in situations like this - the general notion that you're going to be just fine in the long run. Rationally, you have to be thinking that (1) sure it sucks that you've found out that she's that sort of person to take advantage of your good nature, but (2) aren't you glad you found this out now and have more time to devote to more worthy women now as opposed to later? I really do believe in karma, and the weaknesses about her nature now will catch up with her eventually, but really it's not about that. Focus on you: what you've got now and where you're going next. Good luck!
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