merrygoround Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 Five and a half years in the making. Divorce was finalized this morning. Plane tickets to destination wedding booked this afternoon. Just when it seems all hope is lost....
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 Congratulations Merrygoround, was that after establishing NC? Or did you plough on through New Year? Where's the wedding and does everyone at LS get an invite lol
Impudent Oyster Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 I'd like to offer a sincere congratulations. I wish you a long and affair-free marriage. I also am happy for the ex-wife, who is free to pursue a relationship with an honorable man.
Salicious Crumb Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 I'd like to offer a sincere congratulations. I wish you a long and affair-free marriage. I also am happy for the ex-wife, who is free to pursue a relationship with an honorable man. My...that was subtle....LOL
outofdarkness Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 Five and a half years in the making. Divorce was finalized this morning. Plane tickets to destination wedding booked this afternoon. Just when it seems all hope is lost.... congrats...sometimes the 2nd time is a charm!
frannie Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 Hello there. Could you give us some more information..? How did it all work out..? and so on
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 This is from one of your posts in December. But, alas, the latest is that he does not want to push the W into a settlement and he needs time to prepare the house to be sold, AND the W has asked him to wait until she becomes a naturalized citizen. And when I push, he says that he just doesn't know now if he wants to "jump from one marriage to another." Did he push the W into a settlement? Did he prepare the house to be sold? What about his W becoming a naturalized citizen? What changed his mind about not wanting to jump from one marriage to another? I hope he didn't end up agreeing to marry you simply because you pushed so hard to do so. I wouldn't give your marriage very good odds if that is the case.
Author merrygoround Posted February 8, 2007 Author Posted February 8, 2007 Thanks for the congrats! I know everyone thinks their situation is "different" and this site went a long way towards showing me that, in many ways, each situation is the same. But, I didn't push. In fact, I walked away. And this time, with the "strength" and anger I garnered daily from lurking in this site, I was serious. In the past, I would go back with a mere promise things were going to change. This time, I simply said, when I see papers, we can talk. To answer the questions, Did he push the W into a settlement? He didn't have to. It was a sweetheart deal for her. Did he prepare the house to be sold? Nope. He gave it to her. What about his W becoming a naturalized citizen? She can still become one. She got bad legal advice - she has been here so long that it doesn't matter if she is married or not. What changed his mind about not wanting to jump from one marriage to another? I don't know what changed his mind. But I sincerely believe it is changed. He asks me about 3 or 4 times a day if I want to marry him. Hehehe... it's so cute. And to the not-so-subtle congrats - I understand where that comment was coming from. But their marriage was replete with infidelity on both sides and had evolved into a roommate situation - she would even bring her "boyfriend" home on occassion. I believe that because he and I would be gone for weeks at a time and he would never once call her, nor would she call him. They just led separate lives. I really never thought the day would come
Lezbean Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 TBut their marriage was replete with infidelity on both sides... Good luck with that. I wonder how long this "catch" will be faithful to you?
Author merrygoround Posted February 8, 2007 Author Posted February 8, 2007 Good luck with that. I wonder how long this "catch" will be faithful to you? Is that a mug shot?!?! You run the risk of infidelity in any relationship, really.
Kathleen Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 MerryGoRound, You & I can give an update on our relationships (your marriage, congrats by the way) down the road sometime. Happily Ever After to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PoshPrincess Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Many Congrats Merry Go Round. It's nice to hear that things sometimes DO work out. We are all hoping for a happy ending at the end of the day (OW/OM and BSs alike) and sometimes it happens, as you have proved. Good for you!!!! I know there are many synics with the 'once a cheat always a cheat' attitude but lets hope you and your man prove them all wrong! Sometimes people just marry young and they change, balance in the R shifts, etc and anyway, the way I look at it, for those OPs who end up with their MM/MW, at least they know all the excuses!!!!! Let's hope you won't ever hear them. All the best for the upcoming wedding!
MoonGirl Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Congrats MGR! You hung in there for a LONG time. I don't think I could ever do that! Please come back in a few months and let us know how everything is going! I don't buy the "once a cheat, always a cheat" line. Of course there are some serial cheaters, but not everyone who cheats is a serial cheater; each situation is different. I have NEVER cheated on anyone up until my emotional affair toward the end of my relationship with my husband. At that point my husband and I hadn't been intimate for over 2 years, our relationship was void of love and affection, and OM came around at the wrong time. It took me awhile to leave my husband for various reasons...fear of the unknown, finances, children, etc. I wish you the best MGR!
Guest Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 MGR-- good luck to you for the future. Could I just ask you some more questions. How long have you been seeing the MM? After "you walked", how long was it before he came after you and did you keep strict NC in the interim? Did you walk away in anger or how did you tell him that you were ending it in a civilised fashion? Did you have any periods of NC before you finally walked. If so, for how long? Hope you don't mind me asking.
frannie Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 At that point my husband and I hadn't been intimate for over 2 years, our relationship was void of love and affection, and OM came around at the wrong time. It took me awhile to leave my husband for various reasons...fear of the unknown, finances, children, etc. Sorry for this huge thread jack. But, reading your last sentence there... MoonGirl... if you have time, could you check out WBAsmethwick's thread on Separation and Divorce..? Fear of the unknown, finances, children etc. is exactly what is holding him back right now. If you have any input, could you ..? Thanks in advance.
puddleofmud Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Best wishes upon the occasion of your marriage and for a long healthy happy life together!
Art_Critic Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 I wouldn't worry about him cheating.. I would worry about he fact that he is jumping from one marriage to another without any breathing space. He very well be the type of man that cannot live all by himself and he grabbed onto you as soon as things became more final. I think it is going to take a lot of work on his part.. your expectations are going to a lot higher than his are going to be Good Luck with your new marriage and life...
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