Torn2Pieces Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 We had been in this relationship for 5 years, and living together for 4 years. We have a wonderful 3 year old daughter together. A week before Christmas I recieved a call while I was out of town, from my then Fiance, letting me know that for the past 3 months he had been cheating. He lied about who it was with and later found out that it was with his boss. I was so upset and I told him he needed to move out and he did, into her house. I was devistated and my daughter was having a hard time with the split up. She started wetting the bed, nightmares, acting out at pre school and started saying she needed to find a new daddy. With help of a school councler we have helped a little with her adjusments to the new situation and as for me, I thought I was getting over him and actualy ok with the break up then it hit me, I still loved him with all of my heart. I let him know what I was feeling and he told me that he was in love with the other woman and he would not give us another chance to save our family. His mom called and said he was having second thoughts about it and she asked if I would take him back if he asked and I said I did not know. I don't know what to do! I love him so much but he said it was over when I wanted to work things out. How do I move on when he still has my heart and do I take a chance and try and work this out for our family's sake? I am just scared to let him back in and break our daughters heart again if we can't work it out.
Ladyjane14 Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 His mom called and said he was having second thoughts about it and she asked if I would take him back if he asked and I said I did not know. I don't know what to do! If he doesn't have the stones to call you himself... then he hasn't worked his issues out. He needs to EARN his way back. If he can't do that, I honestly don't think he's going to be able to go the distance. Reconcilliation after infidelity is DIFFICULT. It requires hard work, dedication, and a willingness to make internal changes. If I were you, I think I'd have a hard time taking him seriously under these circumstances.
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 His mom called and said he was having second thoughts about it and she asked if I would take him back if he asked and I said I did not know. Could his mom perhaps have the ulterior motive of trying to keep you together so that her access as grandparent is open to your child? I don't mean that to sound so cloak and dagger, it just sounds like your SO hasn't said anything about second chances to you - in fact by declaring his love for the OW he has sort of put a nail in your R's coffin. His mom may well be thinking that her son is an absolute ass and trying to make his decisions for him. But at the end of the day, it will only work if you BOTH wholeheartedly want to reconcile
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