jefeco99 Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 you ever love someone so much that you wanted it to work out sooo bad? but you knew no way in God's green Earth was it ever going to be that image you want the relationship to be? well, that was me and my ex and its approaching 1 year since our breakup. its been a while you say? well, factor in about 6 months of stringing me along and its really not all that time ago. i messed up and I know i did. she left me for good, not one of those I am threating to leave you just so you can give me attention. this time it was for good, good. and to make matters worse, i found out she started dating someone the NEXT day (we broke up on your 1 year anniversary). anyway, she called me a lot to tell me how much she missed me and how she still loves me. For the longest time I let her do it to me until I said enough. I couldn't handle getting hurt anymore. I would cry myself to sleep every time I heard from her thinking where we went wrong. anyway, so shes getting married in 3 months and its been killing me. Every time I think I am over her, it just hits me like a freight train that I am here alone and shes about to marry some guy she barely even knew when they got engaged. sorry, just got a little depressed right now and thought maybe typing it all out would do some good. and it has. i just wonder why its so hard to let someone go? even after all this time, i have met new people and gone out on a few dates. but at the end of the day, i just can't help to think that she should be the one laying down next to me whenever I go to bed.
singleagain Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 Sorry, sounds like youre having a bad day. You need to start with strict no contact. Me and my x did the off and on thing 4/5 months of the 11 that we have been apart. THAT is what makes you crazy. Sounds like her engagement might be a rebound? Focus on you. Read some self help books...rent some movies. Get a part time job (i did) and it helps. Sometimes I think we have to much time on our hands to think about "stuff". Good Luck.
Am4Real Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 anyway, so shes getting married in 3 months and its been killing me. Every time I think I am over her, it just hits me like a freight train that I am here alone and shes about to marry some guy she barely even knew when they got engaged. You can read my original post at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t110077/ for reference but more importantly there is some good commentary and advice by fellow LS members you might want to review.
FallenTree Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 There's a great book called It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-BehrendtYes, it's written for the female crowd but all the tips are excellent. Of course, many of the participants on this board are true experts too and have excellent ideas too. But this book has been very helpful for me as well.
Author jefeco99 Posted February 12, 2007 Author Posted February 12, 2007 I actually did read that book and it helped a lot. I just wished I would have followed the NC rule a lot more closely. Its just a hard feeling of losing someone so close to you. I'm almost over it, but sometimes I have my days.
ratingsguy Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 Its just a hard feeling of losing someone so close to you. I'm almost over it, but sometimes I have my days. We all do, brother. You're much further along in the process than I am (day 9 of NC), so a bit pat on the back to you! It does bother me that women seem to have no problem finding the next guy, while us guys sort of linger around a bit. It's a fact of life I think... men need to work harder to find a woman... all women have to do is show up! Take solice in the fact that by your own admission you're almost over it. That means that there was a point where emotionally you were in a much worse place than you are now. We call that progress! Things will get better for you... sounds like they already have. Hang in there and good luck!
AriaIncognito Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 I'm sorry you're hurting, jefeco99. I wish I could offer words of wisdom, but it sounds like you're doing what you should be to heal (NC). I wish I could say the same for myself lol. Me i'm the idiot that's letting the ex keep contact even though i'm totally head over heels for him. Stringing along, I know the feeling well. You my friend, were smart enough, and strong enough, to put a stop to it. I aspire to have that strength, soon. :-)
guin_girl Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 There's a great book called It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-BehrendtYes, it's written for the female crowd but all the tips are excellent. Of course, many of the participants on this board are true experts too and have excellent ideas too. But this book has been very helpful for me as well. I have that one and Letting Go: A 12-Week Personal Action Program to Overcome a Broken Heart by Zev Wanderer I have referred to this one many times...
Guest Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 I have that one and Letting Go: A 12-Week Personal Action Program to Overcome a Broken Heart by Zev Wanderer I have referred to this one many times... I hate to sound harsh but if you are reviewing these self-help book(s) and quoting them why are you and other proponents still seemingly lost and hanging out here on LS? Again, I don't mean to be harsh but something doesn't add up. Could it be time for a therapist or some other form of professional guidance?
Author jefeco99 Posted February 13, 2007 Author Posted February 13, 2007 No book in the world is going to take away the emotions you are going through. Books are intended on not how to rid of the emotions you are dealing with, but on how to cope with them. People are here for support from others who are going through the same thing, something found in every self help book no matter what the subject is about. on that note, thanks for the words everyone. I know its for the best. Considering she called me one week to tell me shes engaged and then called me the next week to ask me if I still loved her the way she still loves me, umm, yeah. I should be doing a jig right now. But love does make you stupid and memories do seem to haunt you.
guin_girl Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 I hate to sound harsh but if you are reviewing these self-help book(s) and quoting them why are you and other proponents still seemingly lost and hanging out here on LS? Again, I don't mean to be harsh but something doesn't add up. Could it be time for a therapist or some other form of professional guidance? Because people like to commiserate... you know misery loves company... the books are just tools... remember school... first you read about it, then you try it out, then you tell about it tell... show... do... review... and most of counseling is talking about your problems... here we all talk, and we learn from one another...
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