Motor35 Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 So, here goes: I broke NC and am seeing him again. This is our story-we were together for over two years and he cheated several times. I took him back, but just got to the point where I couldn't do it anymore. We split. He changed his tune and promised me the moon. I didn't believe him. I was still so in love with him, but couldn't believe his change in 'us.' We continued to see each other as friends and would still sleep together. I spent the last year and a half learning to forgive and forget and finally got to the point where I truly did forget the past and wanted to move forward. Too late he was seeing someone. He said it wasn't serious, but was stuck due to some work issues. (They work together) He just split with her about a month ago and doesn't want to be in a relationship right now. He still hangs out with her on occasion as he does me too. He and I are sleeping together also. I am so crushed about his interest level. I took to long and feel like crap about it. I wonder if I have lost him forever. I would do ANYTHING to be with him again but he seems so out of touch. What can I do? What should I do? My heart is racing, feel like I had the wind knocked out of me, dry mouth, sweaty palms, I can't eat, nor sleep. Can you kindly offer some advice? Please and thank you so much.
miss snoopy Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 It's hard to go from FWB to bf/gf, at least not without a break. You have to force yourself to have a break from him with minimal contact, preferably none. This will help reduce the anxiety you're feeling. You're not dealing with his unavailiability well - you need to protect yourself or you could end up addicted to this relationship. Please be kind to yourself and find a way out. I'm sure you have a lot going for you - you deserve more than crumbs.
Author Motor35 Posted February 7, 2007 Author Posted February 7, 2007 You are right, Miss Snoopy, but I am too late. I believe I am already addicted to this rollercoaster ride. I am ashamed to admit that I feel like trash because he doesn't want me. Is that at all normal? I don't think I can cope without him and I am a mess over it all.
miss snoopy Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 Him not wanting you may well be about his issues, not yours. If you bear in mind 40% of marriages end in divorce - bearing in mind these are people who have invested money, mortages, children etc and have their union sanctioned legally - then it may help accept the ephemeral nature of relationships these days. People often want what they cannot have, even if this fantasy is in their heads. You have to make yourself unavailable to him, even if it's as a strategy to get him back (won't recommend that as a broken relationship remains broken 90% of the time) The longer you stay in this destructive set-up, the worse it'll be for your self esteem in the long run. Do this for yourself and for your future healthy relationship. Take care of yourself, Motor35. I know it's hard, I'm getting over a tough break-up myself so am fully aware these things are much easier said than done.
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