Is This Just A Game?

[LMoney]

Well, I am a newbie to the site and thought I would throw my situation out there to see if I am truly going insane or if this is "normal". I had been in a long term relationship and ended it and moved quickly into a "new" relationship with someone who swept me off my feet, he was affectionate and said all the things that I have been wanting. He told me very quickly he loved me and after only 3 months was living with me full time. Our backgrounds are very different, I from a upper class white colar world and he from a poor, blue colar upbringing. In actuality he went to prison for 7 years and has only been out for less than a year.....yes I fell in love with a convict, but he was truly wonderful to me. UNTIL things started to change.. his communication skills were severly lacking and I found we had an enormous problem communicating but we kept on. Long story short...his daughter was in a bad situation and he asked that she move in with us to "help save her"...well we had to rent a bigger house..so we did, within 4 weeks he was at his wits end with her and she with him. We were arguing about a lot of little things at this point but nothing drastic, hell he even asked me to marry him so I guess I thought we shared the same vision. WRONG AGAIN....he ended up deciding that is daughter was too difficult and she essentially didn't want to live with us so he packed her things and sent her back home, within 2 days he and I were laying in bed when I start the "communication talk" about how he is feeling, blah, blah, blah....well I felt something was wrong and asked if he and I were okay and he said...well I am seriously starting to question that you are the right one for me and the next thing you know we are in a fight and he is screaming at me that since I wanted a final answer the answer was we are over, no more its final and he will not change his mind..EVER! DONE!

 

Course I freaked out and spent the last two weeks, crying, begging and pointing out that our relaitonship was 90% great with some small issues..very workable..but he won't listein and just says that it is over and he isn't changing his mind. PERIOD. So we have been trying to live like roomates..BAD IDEA..he's moved into the spare bedroom, all his clothes, etc...and as I continue to cling he has decided to move completly out of the house of which we are both obligated to. Of course he says he will pay his part but he will still hug me, give me a kiss, heck even hold my hand, is that just to be nice? Why wont' he even give us another chance? I've decided not to fight him and actually let him go but am DEVASTATED BEYOND CONTROL.....so what do I do? Just let him go and NC or do I try and see him and have some contact with him? Everytime we talk he makes comments like, "your just making this harder on yourself", "I am not going to change my mind, period" , this decision is final.... how pathetic am I ..seriously. All of our mutual friends thinks he needs time to get himself together, but its apparant I am not goign to be in that picture.. Any thoughts on how to save my dignity and yet help the resolution process so that we can be together or am is it false hope? he says he still loves me; however we just can't be together..what the hell does that mean?????? SOMEONE HELP ME TO FIGURE THIS ONE OUT PLEASE..I AM GOING CRAZY

[Guest]

Update: so he still says he is done and is moving out; however, he wants me to keep some of his things....still wants to keep his mailing address at "our house"....AND still wants our joint checking account so he can help pay off his debt....IS HE PLAYING A GAME WITH MY HEAD? I mean come on..if your done, be done or is there really hope????

 

SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING....PLEASE!

[L.Mo]

My boyfriend of 2 years next week told me for the 6th or 7th time in the last 2 years that he's done with us and is moving out. (Happy Anniversary--whatever) I've heard it all before. Gotten my heart crushed too many times for everything to be just fine a day or two later. Last night was the last time he was going to make me feel like this. I told him if he says it out loud to me, he must mean it. If you say something too many times it's going to become true. He said he'll be out of the house by the end of the weekend. I'm going to let him go. No matter how much it hurts.

 

How many times have you heard this from your boyfriend? If it's the first, you should try to work things out. If he isn't willing, you need to cut all ties, romantic, relationship and especially financial.