bones Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 Here is a re-cap of the situation. Man and woman meet one year ago at sporting activity. The kids also met and hit it off. M/W see oneanother at event 2-3 times a week for a couple months and go out briefly after with kids, other adults, sometimes spouses. (M & W are both married) Even though they see oneanother socially, they are never alone. Both have mentioned divorce is not an option, although there have been mutual inuendos of attraction and a definate interest in remaining friends. There have never been any inappropriate/blatent comments or physical contact of any kind. Man's spouse made comment to man about amount of time spent with woman. Even though there has been nothing happening, they decide to chill. A week or so passes and M & W see each other with spouses a couple times. A few days later, the woman decides to fess up the the man about her feelings and admits she "fell" and that this is probably what his spouse senses. She feels she owes it to the man to be honest. The message was not delivered in person. The Man didn't acknowledge the message per se, but the Man still talks to the Woman and has been out to dinner with her twice - once just them and kids, once with other adults. They have exchanged phone calls and nothing seems to be different. It is evident the man doesn't feel comfortable having emotional discussions. Compliments are always doled out in a kidding-around, say the opposite of what you mean kind of way. Woman has not asked for any acknowledgement of the message nor presses for conversation on that front. The man isn't looking for intimacy and has friends coming out the ears. He also has many other women attracted to him, but remains truely faithful to his spouse. The million dollar question: Why isn't he running away from this woman friend after she confessed her strong feelings? Isn't that the kind of situation that would drive a man away for good? I'm thoroughly confused.
Kamille Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 I wouldn't know what to make of it either... Perhaps, man is flattered by the attention. But does not want an emotional discussion because he is in a happy marriage. He obviously doesn't feel the situation warrants any move in any direction (be it to admit he has feelings or to pull away from the friendship). Man happy with status quo. Woman should look out for herself first - this might mean interrupting the friendship herself to focus on her marriage and her family. best of luck K
Author bones Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 Kamille, Thanks for your perspective. This is a funny twist I didn't mention. He's not happy with the marriage. He stays in it for the kids. The really odd thing is his wife likes to hang out with me too. Whenever I call her to suggest we get together, she is always happy to go for it. We don't get to see oneanother as often because she isn't involved the the sports, but we do get together -- just the girls. That is what REALLY confuses me.
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