paris38 Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 2 dinners, 1 lunch....he started out being really enthralled with me, loves it when we're together, after lunch he told me how beautiful I was, etc. then emailed me a nice romantic email....so that night he didn't call and today just had a very basic "Good morning, how are you?" Email. In his other emails he has told me how he really sees me as the kind of woman he wants in his life, etc., then the next day he'll kind of back off with contact....also in his emails he always puts something like "I always hope you feel free to call and email me." I have called him and I feel like I am enthusiastic when I am out with him. After we went out on our first dinner date, the next day he called and wanted to go to a movie - I had other plans that Saturday but I was enthusiastic and said definitely another time, how great of a time I had, etc. I haven't been intimate, just some kissing. He always tells me how beautiful I am. We met online and he said he was floored when he saw me in person at how beautiful I was in person...also I have a job interview out of state and he said 'Well I have to be selfish...I don't want you to move!" So how do I handle this, I can't tell if he's really into me, or not....is he for real, what should I do? the hot and cold thing confuses me and makes me wonder when he is 'cold' should I be making more of an effort to call and email and encourage him or should I let him chase? Any advice would be appreciated, I like him so far and would like to continue dating him!
funkify Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 For the most part, he's still showing interest so I wouldn't worry. He probably thinks he came on too strong and might scare you off so that's why he backed off a bit.
Star Gazer Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 "Hot and cold"? Hmph, I'm not seeing the cold part...
JA2 Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 I don't see why you are so worried, I think the only "cold" thing that's happened so far is he didn't call you after he wrote a really nice email. He might've felt it was too much and was waiting to see if you would write back or call. And since you didn't he probably wrote you a simple email just to see if you were still interested. I would just be yourself with him. If he writes you though, it might be nice to respond, even if it's simple, just so he knows you enjoy the emails (it sounds like you do). But really, I wouldn't worry so much, it still sounds like he's interested. Just show him you are too (that is if you are).
Author paris38 Posted February 6, 2007 Author Posted February 6, 2007 "Hot and cold"? Hmph, I'm not seeing the cold part... I mean yesterday, he took me to lunch and was really 'hot', really happy to see me, wrote me a great email afterward...then last night I didn't get a call from him, and today he has written one really brief 'how are you' email...he could be really busy at work though.
Porn_Guy Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 2 dinners, 1 lunch.... 3 dates in 10 days? WTF! This guy is desperate... In his other emails he has told me how he really sees me as the kind of woman he wants in his life, etc., this guy is a loser....he's known you for 10 days and knows he wants u in his life. what a pathetic guy. After we went out on our first dinner date, the next day he called and wanted to go to a movie - god this guy has a lot to learn about women... He always tells me how beautiful I am. only a desperate L-O-S-E-R woudl say that all the time...once is enough. He obviously hasn't spent too much time with good looking females. Any advice would be appreciated, I like him so far and would like to continue dating him! you'll most likely be bored of this "nice guy" fairly quickly. he seems clingy, needy and desperate. all bad qualities in a dude.
Author paris38 Posted February 7, 2007 Author Posted February 7, 2007 Haven't you ever just been 'blown away' by a woman? Well, he was blown away by me. And he totally has dated lots of great looking women, I'm pretty sure. The problem I have is that today he only emailed me one brief email after all this goo goo gaa gaaing over me, the 'hot' 'cold' thing. By the way, women love to be treated like they are the most beautiful woman in the world.
alphamale Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 Haven't you ever just been 'blown away' by a woman? of course...but I don't tell them that. And he totally has dated lots of great looking women, I'm pretty sure. I would agree with PG...he hasn't dated many good looking women. Guys who have don't say that krap over and over and over cause its looks totally desperate. By the way, women love to be treated like they are the most beautiful woman in the world. ha haha ha....women like to be treated like dirt.
Star Gazer Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 I mean yesterday, he took me to lunch and was really 'hot', really happy to see me, wrote me a great email afterward...then last night I didn't get a call from him, and today he has written one really brief 'how are you' email...he could be really busy at work though. You've been "dating" for one and a half weeks. You expect the guy to be all over you every hour of the day? Try to maintain some perspective here...
Star Gazer Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 The problem I have is that today he only emailed me one brief email after all this goo goo gaa gaaing over me, the 'hot' 'cold' thing. By the way, women love to be treated like they are the most beautiful woman in the world. Did you goo-goo and ga-ga back? Did you make him feel like the most amazing man in the world?
Author paris38 Posted February 7, 2007 Author Posted February 7, 2007 I do need to relax. Porn Guy and Alpha Male, telling a woman she is beautiful every time you see her when you start dating her is NOT acting desperate! He just really means it, he thinks I'm beautiful, so he says "You're beautiful" or 'You look beautiful.' He only says it when he sees me and once in a while on the phone. I'm pretty sure he has dated hot women because 1. He's pretty good looking and 2. He's a millionaire. (not that that matters to me.) But since I have guys attention here should girls call guys when you are in the very early stages of dating or is that desperate for the woman?
alphamale Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 Did you goo-goo and ga-ga back? Did you make him feel like the most amazing man in the world? it totally makes me sick when people start acting like love-crazed babies after knowing someone for 240 hours (i.e. 10 days)
Star Gazer Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 Porn Guy and Alpha Male, telling a woman she is beautiful every time you see her when you start dating her is NOT acting desperate! He just really means it, he thinks I'm beautiful, so he says "You're beautiful" or 'You look beautiful.' He only says it when he sees me and once in a while on the phone. Personally, I'd think something was up if a guy I just started dating were overly complimentary. I'd think he was trying to blind me with "the woo." You've admitted it's not JUST when he sees you, but also on the phone. I imagine he's also been overly complimentary in his emails/texts/written love letters read to you from a balcony. And I agree with Alpha: goo-goo-ga-ga that early in a relationship (YES, TEN DAYS!!!!!) is creepy.
Author paris38 Posted February 7, 2007 Author Posted February 7, 2007 Did you goo-goo and ga-ga back? Did you make him feel like the most amazing man in the world? Yesterday after lunch, we kissed a bit and I was very enthusiastically kissing him. I told him I had a good time. He was blown away by the kisses. So....he knows I'm interested, I don't see how he could think otherwise. It's just today it does seem like he is much less enthusiastically pursuing me, but he is really busy at work.
Author paris38 Posted February 7, 2007 Author Posted February 7, 2007 it totally makes me sick when people start acting like love-crazed babies after knowing someone for 240 hours (i.e. 10 days) Sorry, I just really like him and I'm not totally a love-crazed baby, just trying to understand his behavior. That's kind of a judgmental comment.
Star Gazer Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 Yesterday after lunch, we kissed a bit and I was very enthusiastically kissing him. I told him I had a good time. He was blown away by the kisses. So....he knows I'm interested, I don't see how he could think otherwise. It's just today it does seem like he is much less enthusiastically pursuing me, but he is really busy at work. He doesn't have to enthusiastically pursue you if he believes that he's already caught you...........
Author paris38 Posted February 7, 2007 Author Posted February 7, 2007 I'll just have to relax and see when he asks me out again. I feel better now. I mean if he HAS lost interest, then it's not like I can control that and I'll just move on!
Lauriebell82 Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 u've only known the guy a week and a half..he's probably not trying to come on too strong for fear of freaking u out. because honestly usually guys dont work that fast. i met my bf at the gym and he waited a week to even call me after the first time we met..then another 4 or 5 days before we scheduled a first date. so just calm down i mean he maybe is just trying to back off and keep u on ur toes.
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 ha haha ha....women like to be treated like dirt. Alpha, why am I strangely attracted to you?!?!
brokenhart2007 Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 Paris, if you love it everytime he tells you your beautiful, then all the more power to ya. If you are happy, that's what matters. Personally, I don't know if I'd feel comfortable with so much praise so early on, but this is about you... Like the majority here has said already, I don't see where he's being "cold" to you, guys are always on and off like a light switch with attention towards women, weather it's because they don't want to scare us off or because it's just the space they require for themselves. The amount of attention when he's "on" varies greatly from guy to the next. Apparently, this guy is giving you as much as you desire, so just enjoy it. I would just be asking myself, will he still be this mezmorized by me after we've been dating for a few months? years? People do change you know. What if you wake up one day and find yourself going, "he never tells me I'm beautiful anymore, what happened!" This could apply to anyone who is dating, though.
Author paris38 Posted February 7, 2007 Author Posted February 7, 2007 he emailed me a few times today....and we do have a date set up for Friday night so right now I can just exhale. In the meantime I'm going to try to do 'the rules' because I want to let this one breathe.
Star Gazer Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 Same thing with this thread, Paris. I'm getting all your guys confused. Perhaps you should make up names for them?
Author paris38 Posted February 11, 2007 Author Posted February 11, 2007 Yup. Basketball guy. There were only two, but backup guy is out of picture now. Again, thanks for your concern. Same thing with this thread, Paris. I'm getting all your guys confused. Perhaps you should make up names for them?
Topper Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 Damn I hate to say this but Porn Guy and Alpha have a point here. Woman tend to go for a hot and cold treatment show some interest then back off! Act like you could care less. The best Players know how to read woman. They look for the hot button. tell her she is beautiful she lights up like a Christmas Tree you hit a button. Drop hints of Money she gets all glassy eyed you hit a button. Do those thing a few more times and she is all Happy and thinking I got this guy. He then backs off, The woman is now off balance and wondering whats going on what has she done? What if doesn't like me anymore! He then again pushes the button at just the right moment. She is back in la la land. back off and she is off balance. repeat the process untill she ask you to sleep with her. The best never ask for sex they get her to ask him. The very very best can get you to do kinky stuff you would have never dreamed of doing. Ladies: Most guys are cluless to this. They just go out and beg you for sex like little kids begging mommy to buy them candy. Paris, I'm not saying this guy is a player. But you are very ripe to be played by this guy.
whichwayisup Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 Damn I hate to say this but Porn Guy and Alpha have a point here. Woman tend to go for a hot and cold treatment show some interest then back off! Act like you could care less. Yes, they do. Isn't it human nature though, when one person backs off, changes the balance of energy, it's only normal and natural the other person comes forward?
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