twizzler Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 I usually lurk and you guys/gals are full of good advice. I am really wanting a tummy tuck, lipo and boob lift. My husband is against it. I know I am fortunate that he loves me the way I am but I don't like how I look. I had two large babies who are now full grown. I keep myself slim and have always worked out so I am aware that no amount of crunches are going to make my tummy look better. I am 50 and although I don't look it clothed, naked I am sad. I don't want to look like I am 20, just don't like the sag I have. He said its not the money, just not necessary surgery and he sees no reason for it. We do not spend large amounts of money without discussing and agreeing to it. Our sex life is good, I just would like to look better naked. Also we have the savings so it would not be financed or break the bank How can I convince him this is important to me without sounding shallow?
quankanne Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 if it's medically necessary (i.e., breast reduction to relieve pressure from your neck/spine, correcting a deviated septum or a breast augmentation for someone who's lost a breast or both to cancer), people find it much easier to justify the need for that surgery than if it were a mental fix-it, so to speak. I guess the real question is, once you had the proposed surgery, would you be content with your body, or would there be something else that needed to be done to "perfect" your body? Very few women like their bodies, but many learn to make their peace with them; some women (men, too) feel the need for just "one more" procedure to help them be who they want to be, and completely lose sight of themselves as they strive for that perfection. Maybe this is what your husband is concerned about, that you won't be happy with the outcome, even though you wanted the surgery? talk to him, see what makes him feel the way he does, and base your decision on your findings.
VinaAmez Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 Have you considered having a personal trainer instead of the surgery? Sure no amount of crunches will make you look better. There are other things that have to be done as I'm sure you know. But if your 100% sure and won't budge then I would basically sit down, explain to them that you need to do this for yourself. Talk to him about it.
LilDarlin Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 I had a boob job 7 or 8 years ago. Best thing I've ever done. My boobs are stellar. I didn't get them so big that they are fake looking I was a C and now I am a D and my nips are nice and pert. I say go for it. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Like you, I work out and keep my body very tone and nice. I just wanted to be perky again.
alleyrose Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 I have been thinking about plastic sugery also. I am just worried about the horror stories you hear. I think the best is not to go cheap you get what you pay for and do your research on the doctor you choose.
dilly Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 My wife is scheduled to have breast implants done in a couple of weeks. I'm totally supportive of her and I told her I'm happy without them as well. I think its going to be good for her self confidence. I just fear it may be too good and she leaves me for someone else! LOL!
Author twizzler Posted February 7, 2007 Author Posted February 7, 2007 Thank you all for responding. Like I said I am pretty confidient clothed but my stomach is stretched from having large kids, underneath are toned abs but I have this flabby top layer for lack of a better word. And I am not looking for larger breast, just perkier LOL. I'm pretty sure I would be satisfied if it was done correctly the first time. VinaAmez, it was a personal trainer who told me there was nothing I could do to get my stomach any tighter. He suggested a little nip/tuck. dilly, I hope my hubby isn't worried I will look so good I would leave him. I think he will benefit from my feeling sexier undressed. I will try to talk to him about it again this weekend. Wish me luck.
Lennox Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 How much would the surgery cost out of pocket and how much do you have in your savings? Although you might have the money in your savings acct, he may view this as an unnecessary expenditure depleting your assets. I would guess the money is there for a rainy day. You sound like a really healthy, fit woman. He may view your tummy as part of your beauty, a reminder that you carried and gave birth to his children. Did you breastfeed? If so and that's why gravity has taken over a bit, he may admire your breasts just the way they are. A real man sees beauty in such things. Fake or shallow men only see beauty in the plastic enhanced digitally altered photos and videos. It sounds like you have a real man there. You're luckier than a lot of women! Well, whatever you decide to do, just make sure both of you agree with it. I'm kinda old school when it comes to decisions like this. I believe that a husband's body belongs to the wife and vice versa. What would you say if he wanted to have his ding ding surgically enhanced so it will be bigger? You would probably say "heck, no way!" because you know it's not necessary. Also keep in mind that we always hear of the stories on the news of plastic surgery gone bad. Just a couple of days ago, they reported that a teenage girl died while having a nose job. He might just be protective of you, which is a very sweet thing.
tommyr Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 How would you feel if hubby says he really wants to trade-in the Taurus for a new Mercedes-Benz convertible? Like a flashy new sports car, plastic surgery sounds like an expensive luxury item which brings to mind an insecure person having a mid-life crisis. But don't get me wrong: I do enjoy a sunny day, cruising with the top down in my M-B, radio blasting.
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