Prim&proper Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 It's been 2.5 weeks since my ex of 1 year broke up with me. We've done NC and aside from an email about his stuff, we have had no contact. It's been 2.5 weeks and I still feel pretty crappy. The question is how long is this healing thing supposed to last? I'm tired of feeling this way and want to get back to my old former self again. How long has it been since you've broken up and how long did it take you to heal? I'm so tired of this and want it to all go away. There was no cheating in our relationships. We just fought alot and were incompatible. He broke up with me one time before and I broke up with him one time before. He ended it this time around.
RocketMan2 Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 She dumped me out of the blue after 2 days of ignoring me, immediately after a fantastic xmas, and has proceeded to be incredibly cold and callous with me afterwards on the few occasions shes contacted me. Ive not contacted or responded to her in... 2 and a bit weeks. its been 5 since she dumped me. I dont feel any better, but my emotions have changed. Theyve become more controlled. When i say controlled, dont let that fool you into thinking i have them UNDER control. I dont at all. But they are more objective. I can now (maybe) understand her actions, but ill never be able to forgive them. What im feeling now is pain that shes gone and upset that she could treat me the way she has. And jealously, but im not even taking my mind down that route. It does get better with time. Im nowhere near healed, but it does get better. You HAVE to change your mentality. Maybe not straight away, its pretty soon for you, do take time to be upset, but be aware not to leave it too long or you'll make yourself ill. Rocket
Am4Real Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 It's been 2.5 weeks since my ex of 1 year broke up with me. We've done NC and aside from an email about his stuff, we have had no contact. It's been 2.5 weeks and I still feel pretty crappy. The question is how long is this healing thing supposed to last? I'm tired of feeling this way and want to get back to my old former self again. How long has it been since you've broken up and how long did it take you to heal? I'm so tired of this and want it to all go away. There was no cheating in our relationships. We just fought alot and were incompatible. He broke up with me one time before and I broke up with him one time before. He ended it this time around. Hey P&P, In combination with many of the techniques for getting over a relationship I am also seeking guidance from a "professional" therapist. Both methods are working well although there are varied days of sad feelings. I seem to be "up" most of the time after speaking with someone and allowing them to help me deal with realities. As you and I exchanged messages before, there is no way to speed up time except that I find things are "measured" as improvements when I go back and re-read my personal journal entries from even a month or a few weeks ago. For example, a month ago I was full of those "why me", "why this", "what now" type of examinations; today I'm more into me and what I want to be or will be as I progress. I think that's pretty good progress for all of the latest history occurring in the last six weeks. Don't get me wrong, I need more time (too) just like you, but my journal proved to me I am developing and progressing. As we mentioned this is the start of my fourth week of NC and since the last contact was on a Monday morning, it seems like Monday's ring a bell for me whether I want to pay attention or not...I'm sure in time I'll even stop counting the weeks and eventually Monday's will return to normal. My point: we all have to go through this whether we want to or not, there are no quick fixes, no self medication therapies (i.e. alcohol or drugs) that make it go away...follow a technique that works for you and be positive about yourself. Love, hugs and best wishes for you as you go through your healing, Am4Real p.s. Just when I seem to be questioning things, its amazing how someone like you and others comes along and gives to me encouragement. You certainly did on my original posting the other day. Even yesterday, an anonymous GUEST posted a few sentences on that THREAD that brings home more realities, more realizations and more healing support. I hope I can in someway offer the same to you...be strong, stay focused and continue to reach out here.
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