JA2 Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 I met my bf about a year ago and he fell for me fast, that by a month after dating he wanted me to move into his house with him. I was afraid to give up apartment and also felt funny about moving in with someone when we weren't even engaged, but I never felt this way before and he seemed so sure of us. He was always telling me how he finally met the girl of his dreams, the one he wants to marry. He knew he wanted to marry me, that it was just a matter of time. I finally decided to move in with him after 3 months and just around that time he lost his job. The weekend of the big move he told me with tears in his eyes, that as soon as he can, he will do the right thing (meaning get engaged). Now it's 8 months after I moved in and we aren't engaged. He did get a great job but it took a couple of not so good jobs to find it (he started in Nov). He's always making comments about getting married. Talks about a family. And now he's going around telling everyone I'm his wife. But no proposal, nothing. I'm afraid he's all talk. How do I know that he will make that step. I know money is just starting to get in order. And I'm not upset at that, it's just he talks so much about our future, our kids, our life together. But I just wish he'd take our relationship to the next level already. I feel like I took that huge step when I moved in with him and now he won't make the next step. Do you think he's all talk or should I just be patient and maybe he's got something planned all along? (I should mention we are both in our 30s)
serial muse Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 by my calculations, you guys haven't even been together a full year yet. what's your rush? he's getting back on his feet, he talks about marriage with you, you live together. seriously, it sounds like everything's going great - don't create a problem where there isn't one. just relax and enjoy your relationship.
Lauriebell82 Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 well all i can think of is maybe he is just not actually ready to ask u yet..i mean there is a HUGE difference from talking about getting engaged and married and actually doing it. try not to be so impatient, i know its hard, but he'll ask u when he's ready. he's told u he wants to marry u so tahts a start! at least u know that! if he keeps putting it off maybe u should talk to him but give it some more time. ur relationship moved real quick, so maybe he doesnt want to move as fast with the engagement. yeah he wants to marry u, but asking u is a HUGE decision and a "whole different ballgame. if he keeps talking about it and hasnt asked u i'd say maybe 4-6 months from now than maybe talk to him about it and ask him if he is having reservations or second thoughts. because its def. not fair to lead u on and get ur hopes up for nothing.
Author JA2 Posted February 6, 2007 Author Posted February 6, 2007 See, that's the thing, he says he's ready. I think what has stirred all this up is my sister doesn't think we're going to get married, she says in her opinion he has issues of marriage (I don't know where she got this from). My parents still believe we will get married, but the fact that my sister has doubts about us, scares me. What if she's right. I try to talk to him, but he just says to be patient and it will happen. How do you know if he has doubts or issues, unless he actually says he does. Will they act a certain way? Would they still talk about marriage?
Lauriebell82 Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 if he says be patient, it will happen, than do just that. if he talks about marriage a lot than obviously he wants to marry u. just wait for him to ask u, and he probably will. like i said, pressure and constantly doubting if he wants to marry u because he hasnt proposed might just push him away and make him more nervous. ur worrying about it too much, and u know fear because he hasnt proposed he's having doubts about marrying u. yes it would be hard to have my bf telling me he wants to marry me and get engaged but not step up to the plate, but i guess thats his decision. so i would just wait for it to happen..sounds like he's serious, hes not going anywhere. be lucky u have a great relationship and just enjoy it!
Recommended Posts