Guest Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 This is my second time to post here and I really need some sound advice. I'm married for 21 years and have 2 children 19 & 15. The first years of our marraige were good and things went well. In the last 10 years my wife has had numerous bouts with mental illness and within the last 2 years she was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. I have stayed by her through some very tough times but now things are slowly getting worse. She has refused to continue her medication and since has ran up about 10,000 in credit card debt. She has pretty much drained our savings and checkings with outrageous shopping sprees. She has taken off on trips by herself when she was in no mental state to be going and when I tried to get her to stay she just got madder. She also opened her own checking account and will not let me know how much is in there. She becomes very angry and screams at everything that don't go her way while the entire time blaming me for anything that happens from her getting fired to other very minor things. Our 19 year old is getting married soon and I'm holding on hoping that she doesn't cause a big scene at the wedding. Both of my children are afraid to be around her in public at church or ballgames because of her unpredictable mood swings. I have no reason to lie and I can honestly say I have tried to be my best to help her. I have never layed a hand on her and have been 100% faithful. I cook 80% of the meals, wash and iron my clothes and the kids do their own. I have gave in and gave in until I'm tired of fighting the fight. I'm tired of the kids being nervous and upset and want more for us all. I want to know the feeling again of not having the constant worry of what she is thinking or going to do. Am I wrong in feeling this way?
dilly Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 Marriage is tough enough with normal people, but when you are dealing with mental issues its a whole other ball game. My W's sister had bipoler and took her own life a few years back. My W never fully recovered and lately i see some of that in her as well. She hasn't been formally disgnosed and she won't seek treatment. You are definitely not wrong in feeling the way you do.
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 My mom has suffered from mental illness all of her life although it wasn't discovered by my father until he had married her. Several children later, my dad suffered so much through the marriage, to the point where he had an affair. He died a few years ago and I totally understand why he had an affair and how he was just searching for some happiness in such a tumultuous existence with my mom. I'm now her carer and it's one of the toughest jobs anyone could ever have. Don't feel guilt about the way you are feeling...the constant worry, the fear, the guilt, remorse, it all comes from being a carer in one of the most misunderstood illnesses out there. Be strong, look for carers networks around and support groups to establish similar people with similar problems. Good luck
Mz. Pixie Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 People with bipolar can lead full and rewarding lives, IF they stay medicated. If she won't stay medicated or even try to help herself then perhaps you need to think about a separation?? Perhaps that might wake her up to the fact that she needs treatment??
Guest Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 People with bipolar can lead full and rewarding lives, IF they stay medicated. If she won't stay medicated or even try to help herself then perhaps you need to think about a separation?? Perhaps that might wake her up to the fact that she needs treatment?? She has been on medication and done well for about 2 years. During this time she wanted me to go with her for her Dr. appointments. She had an appointment that was changed and she never told me so I missed that visit. She called me later @ work and said she had spoke to the Dr. and was coming off her medication. I know from previous trips with her that the Dr. was 100% against this. That has been about a year ago and now she says she doesn't have a Doctor. Everything is fine according to her.....its everyone else that has a problem.
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