Staci Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 So I was reading into things on the net about being needy and i guess that is what I am...the need to feel liked by someone to feel better about myself. That is who i am and I realize it but I dont want to be like this forever. How am I supposed to fix this? The confident, sexy guys that I go for will not like the needy, insecure girls like me. And settling for less isnt what Im going to do nor will I lower my standards for myself. There is always time and room for change...Its just that Ive gone through this for soo long now i just feel trapped and depressed trying to better myself and fix all the negative qualities. Ive been dating this guy for only a month and we already say i love you to each other. I was taking things slow in the beginning and acting very confident...but then he started becomg very emotional on me and sensitive. Always wanted to know how I felt and If he made me happy. hes a great a guy and really does care. When I am thinking too much and quiet he will try and understand what is going on but I dont tell him everything. Im too scared he wont like me for it. Now I just feel trapped and dont know what to do. Im also depressed and when we are together I feel the need to act happy because if not he'll feel that its him whose making me feel depressed. I tend to be shut off about my feelings of sadness and dont like telling him about it. In the beginning I sort of dated him because he liked me and it made me feel good. Now i dont know if i really do love him or not...Maybe I just need to take things slower and be who I am like I was before. Thats the girl he liked...but then again when we first started talking I was on my best behavior and maybe acted a little fake. Now he might be seeing the real me and doesnt like it. I dont know i am feeling confused about this and very insecure that hes starting to lose interest. Im scared to talk to him about it. I want to feel happy with him and I shouldnt be like this...I want to tell him some things but I dont know where to start or anything.
Guest Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 I just spoke to a friend about this and she was like, "wow this is alot of stuff" and ya i know...and its not healthy at all. That just overwhelms me with fear that i think too much and am menatlly unstable. Its like i sort of kno what I need to do but dont know where to start. Like ive tried many things and it works for a short period of time but then i go back. I know i need more confidence and loving my self, etc.
Karma24 Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 Well, counseling is a place to start if you haven't gone that route yet. If you don't have insurance look in the phone book for Community Mental Health. Their services are usually provided at low cost for the uninsured. Or, you could call a regular therapist's office in your area and ask them who you should call if you don't have insurance. It sounds like you think this is a nice guy who you care about but he is not what you're looking for. End it if that's the case and whatever you do DON'T let him guilt you back into the relationship. You are only going to successfully attract a confident guy if YOU are confident and you really have to be. You can't fake it. People can see right through that front. In order to gain confidence you really have to force (literally force) yourself to experience new things that you are uncomfortable with. You have to DEAL WITH the discomfort in order to gain the confidence. Cheers!
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