hunnybuns Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 I am the OW. We usually email each other every day. Well within the past few weeks he has been acting very strange. I will email him and he will take like 2 days to email me back. Well I have tried something .....he sent me and email last monday....I sent him a few...well the last one I sent was on wednesday and he hasn't emailed me back. See he usually waits for me to email and then he will respond. Well I haven't emailed him at all and he hasn't emailed me to say anything. Is this weird? I want to play a game with him to see how long he will got without sending one. I have been tempted sooo many times to just say hi but I am not giving in until he emails me. Is this stupid? I want to know what is up but until he replys to me for once I am not writing.
Guest Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 Might depend how long you've been involved with him. If this is a newish relationship, he might be feeling guilty and backing off. If you have been the OW for a longer time, then there may be several explanations. His w might be onto him and watching him like a hawk so he is putting things with you on hold. If you have ben putting pressure on him and questioning the A, he may be cooling things for a while He may be playing control/mind games to see if you will chase after him by initiating contact and then questioning him when he doesn't respond very quickly. He likes the attention. It doesn't sound like there has been a family crisis in the sense of a bereavement where his head is elswhere as you say this is a pattern. I would say that either the w is onto him OR you may have caused him to question the A or he is questioning it for himself. I know how frustrating it can be when they choose not to let you know what is going on. I once told my MM that I wished he loved me as much as I loved him on one particular Friday. Instead of phoning me on the following Monday as he promised, he went sick from work for 4 weeks and I never head from him unil he returned to work. That was in the days before mobile phones. I scared him away and I knew he was just feeling guilty because he was just using me for sex, so I didn't hang around. If I were you, I wouldn't give him the pleasure of emailing him, because he will contact you in time and then I would want some answers. However if you don't want to wait, I would probably just send an enquiring but casual email like "I was just wondering if you received my last email and that things are OK"--this will probably elicit a response rather than sending him an email like "What the ---- are you up to?".
MoonGirl Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 Are you the OW with a MM or a MW with an OM? In your other post it sounded like you are married and have an OM. How long have you been together? How often do you see each other? Have you talked to him about your concern about him not contacting you enough? Men think differently than women, so sometimes when women think men are playing games, they really aren't. My guess would be that he is either very busy, doesn't think that getting email from him is that important to you, or maybe he just isn't that into you. Talking to him about your concern could help clear up your problem. Playing games with him is just going to frustrate you even more since he probably won't even realize you're playing a game.
kymberann Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 Any way you look at it, he will see through the game playing and it will be a turn off! Maybe he just does not communicate via email. Plus, the more he contacts you via email the more "proof" you have of the A. The more proof you have, the more ammo you have if the A were to get out of hand. Best to back off! Best
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