MotherGooze Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 He called me yesterday asking if I wanted to go for a drink on Thursday. I said yes. We agreed not to talk about the relationship but that we just wanted to catch up with each others life. Ive missed him a lot, but I , a bit scared though; is it a good idea? I really want to know how he is, I have no desire at all about talking about another chance now, I just want to see how he is, and lets go from there. I also want him to see how great Im doing, because the last two months of our relationship Ive had a very big deppression, one of the reasons we are not together at the moment. But now I ve got a job a new appartment; a new beginning... I feel great! I want him to see that.
notmakingsense Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 I've contemplated this type of meeting before and usually come down on the side of not doing it because I still care too much about trying to make the relationship work. If you meet with him and you don't talk about the relationship -- how will you feel at the end of the meeting just knowing he's Ok? Will you feel good about catching up with him if he doesn't leave you with the impression that he would like to see you more? Having him call you is a very good sign, so I'd probably go through with it -- I just would be very careful and be prepared to feel a bit down afterwards if he isn't meeting your expectations.
Author MotherGooze Posted February 7, 2007 Author Posted February 7, 2007 What I'm really worried about is, that ever since we broke up. Everything has been great for me. I'm scared that he'll think that I'm better off without him.
Author MotherGooze Posted February 8, 2007 Author Posted February 8, 2007 Well, things went really great Things totaaly went wrong because of my deppression, but so many things happened the last few weeks that I've been feeling better then in the last 3 years. He saw that and he said that he was really happy that he could finally talk to me again, that I was myself again. And not the depressed sad little girl, who wasn't independent. We had a very good time and there were lot's of butterflies at both sides. I just feel so great lately, that I think it reppels on other people. My friends have told my how I'm shining like a star and I got this glow over me. Now he said that I just look really happy with myself; that I'm so calm and relaxed. This weekend we'll be seeing each other again. We haven't really talked about our feelings yet, but The way last night turned out, the way he looked at me and stuff...I think things will happen And really; after all that has happened, I still want to get through with him. He never hurt me on purpose; neither did I. I just wasn't ready for a relationship because of all the negative thing happening in my life.
Johnny B Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 I'm really happy for you. This gives hope to the rest of us. If at the very least, it's great that you have a beaming confidence about you. I don't know the details of your story but how long were your ex and you broken up? Was it 3 years? Did he just call you one day out of the blue? johnny
Author MotherGooze Posted February 8, 2007 Author Posted February 8, 2007 no, not at all. We actually broken up 3 weeks ago , which isn't long at all. I did NC on him but we have mutual friends so I hear that the last three weeks he was pretty miserable, while he heard that I was doing really fantastic. I think that might have made him realise, that he really missed me and that I was just feeling down because of the situation I was in. Well, he really let me know how he missed me. He said that he didn't feel like working and ever since we broke up he didn't go to work. In the weekends he just ended up getting drunk ( which he normally never does). He felt like he was missing something, but he was scared that I was angry at him. He said he felt lonely and missed our conversations. I don't know why but last night I heard so many new things about him that I didn't even know. Things he had a hard time talking about in the past. I think there wasn't much pressure any more, I wasn't the control freak anymore. There are still some question I have, but I don't feel like pressuring things. I wanna enjoy things now, enjoy life. It's gonna take some time for us to really sort things out, but our love has always been very strong.
Johnny B Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 That is great. Take things one step at a time and things will work out. I unfortunately broke up with someone whom I shouldnt have in August and was fine with it until I found out she moved on to someone else 2 months ago. It just broke me down, I thought she would always be there. I was a selfish, stupid jerk and I'm paying the price of taking an angel for granted. 2 months with some new guy for all I know things could be FANTASTIC with them. I don't know and don't really want to know b/c it would tear me apart aside from what i'm already doing to myself. I vow to improve on my character flaws and hope to get another chance again soon. j
Author MotherGooze Posted February 8, 2007 Author Posted February 8, 2007 Yeah, those are things you always notice when it's too late. I treated my boyfriend really badly, was very self centered and obsessive. I was happy to get another chance. But you know, you'll also get another chance. Maybe not with her, but with someone who respects you and loves you for who you are. I know it doesn't help much but time heals all wounds. And off course you have Loveshack to help you get through it. I know I've been nagging my head off in here! It's great you have learned from your mistakes, now it's time to move on and implement those lessons in a new relationship.
shockandawed Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 MG, Great! I am happy for you. Sounds like your self improvement was really noticed. Funny how they can sense those things. Best of luck to you, you deserve it!!
luvtoto Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 Try not to be so hard on yourself, mothergooze. Yes, you had a bout of depression, and you are taking the steps to make yourself better. Good for you! But, just remember, when two people have conflict, BOTH people are at fault. Don't jump through too many hoops for his love. Advice coming from a former "hoop jumper".
Author MotherGooze Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 hehe, thanks Yeah, I know I'm not the only one to blame but I made improvements for myself not for him. I didn't even think we could have another chance, I was just enjoying live, and wanted to share that with him. He's also made some mistakes, and he admidded it. I have decided not to rush things this time. And just see what happens. I'm kind of the person who falls in love and if I'd would believe in marriage I would get married right away He's more of the take it easy, take it slowly kind of type... which I think now is a good approach for not getting hurt. We really enjoy each others company a lot right now, and he has told me things about his past; he wouldn't even want to talk about when we were together before. Now he actually feel comfortable talking about it; so I guess not only I have changed. Yeah, I still have the urge to rush things though but I think it's best we just enjoy the time we have together now and see how well it'll turn out in the future.
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