Lostsoul17 Posted February 4, 2007 Posted February 4, 2007 So here is my story.... My wife of about an year went out of the country to take care of her mother. She ended up getting into an argument with her brother and mother because she was apparently staying out late. Her brother got angry and told her to get out. So she ran off to and stayed at a hotel room. She stayed there two days, then ended up staying three nights at her ex-boyfriend's place. After that she stayed at a relatives place. Now, the first three days when she was gone, she didn't tell me or her family where she was. I was worried sick, I couldn't just go and try to find her because she was out of the country. I tried calling her and txt msging her but I did not hear from her for three days. I found out from her mother that she was staying at her ex-boyfriend's house. This did not sit too well with me. I specifically told her not to even speak of his name or contact him while she was there. She still contacted him and spent the night at his place. She claims that he is just a friend and that she didn't cheat on me. What I don't understand is why she didn't go to her relatives house initially. Why stay three nights at her ex-boyfriend's place. So basically I've packed up my belongings at our apartment and moved back in with my parents. I've given my landlord a 1 month notice. The reason I doubt her story is because 1. If she had a problem with her mom n bro, she should have contacted me and I would had her flown back to the states. 2. She spent three nights at the guy's place, when she could have been at her relative's place. 3. She didn't contact me for three days, yet she started contacting me when she found out that I knew she was staying at her ex-bf's place. 4. She showed a total disregard for her family and my family, but telling her mom she won't be coming back. Question now is, if I do take her back, I don't think I will be able to trust her again. This will bother me because she slept at her ex-bf's place. So am I right for leaving her??
polywog Posted February 4, 2007 Posted February 4, 2007 That's so painful, and my heart goes out to you. She broke your trust, that's a serious breach, but if you love her and love your marriage, I would say find out what was going through her head. Not to make excuses for what she's done, but maybe it was too stressful being away from you, at her family's, going through some tough things. You said she is taking care of her mother? Is her Mthr seriously ill? This could just overwhelm her, her bro, and her mom. Perhaps she is very ashamed of her actions and is afraid to talk to you about it. Just a guess. Give the marriage a chance, even tho this has happened. You will get lots of great support on this forum from people who've been there. I have not had this happen in my life, but if you read through the threads (maybe you have already) you'll see you're in good company. Hang in there, and wait for some more wise LSers to post...
Author Lostsoul17 Posted February 8, 2007 Author Posted February 8, 2007 Yea, definitely is painful. Just taking it day by day. She admitted to me that she loves this guy but the guy doesn't want her because he thinks I love her. I don't want anything to do with her now. I just want this divorce to be quick and painless so that we can both move on with our lives. I'm walking away from the relationship the bigger person because I devoted myself to her and yet she cheated on me.
lovelorcet Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 She said she loves this other guy? This relationship is over. Leave her.
Author Lostsoul17 Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 Yea, apparently this guy was her ex-bf. She always use to mention him to me, telling me how good he was and how if they were together he would have treated him like a princess. The funny thing is this same guy cheated on her to be with his ex-wife. So I guess both of these losers deserve each other. The weird thing is she tells me "I will always love you". Now I don't get that at all, how can she be in love with two people? I don't think she will ever be settled in her life.
Gunny376 Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 When it comes to women, I have rules, just like at work ~ minor, major, and intollerable. Its been my expereince that women are always testing us ~ I'm not saying that all women are like that, because when it comes to men, women, and relationships ~ there are no absolutes. Connecting the dots on this one ~ I would say that she was staying out late with the XBF, and the Mother and brother called her on. When she got her punk card called, she shagged tailed it over to the XBF's place, until she found out that you knew where she was. (Her Mom's telling you the deal without going into detail hoping your bright enough to read the tea leaves) Bottom line? She disrespecting you. Disrespect = Intolerable Offense. Just that plain and just that simple. Tilt, game over! Consider yourself lucky that you found early in the game. Go find yourself someone that respects you, and who appreciates what you've got to offer. She doesn't. Bottom line is she went back to the "hood" found out the XBF was available again. She's not coming back. All the talk that's coming out of her mouth is just her hedgeing her bets. "Fog" talk ~ means nothing! Just "smoke" whispping up thorough the air.
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